"Angelo Pappas 2024."

It is election day, today, in France and the punditry is calling it one of the most important of the last century. I have no doubt that it might be true with the right leaning Rassemblement National surging much to Macron and his center left Renaissance on the ropes. Tense etc. but one wouldn’t know it ambling through the gorgeous streets whistling La Vie en Rose especially if one is American.

Yes, at least the various French candidates don’t have full blown dementia unlike the staggering octogenarian candidates across the proverbial pond in the United States of America.

There President Joe Biden continues to shed support after his senile debate performance against challenger Donald J. Trump. While the surf vote had been firmly behind the Dark Brandon thanks to a 2020 endorsement from Surfer Magazine, it has just joined the exodus after beloved actor Gary Busey posted a stirring birthday tribute from his 80th.

“It’s my #birthday week! The big 80!” the famous Big Wednesday and Point Break actor penned.

Surfers immediately recognized the energy, the agile mind and compared it to Sleepy Joe’s comatose stare.

“You don’t look a day over 150,” one supporter gushed.

“Angelo Pappas 2024,” another added.

Could the Hollywood star replace Biden on the ballot? It’s anyone’s guess at this point, to be honest.

Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop.

The Olympics is but weeks away now and the Parisienne streets are teeming with preparation. Workmen busily spackle exteriors, apply signage to walls, generally hustle and bustle about. Yes, it will be a glorious Games, of this I’m certain and even more certain after hearing about Antoine Arnault admitting that his family’s Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy is designing the medals that will soon be hung around athletes’ necks.

Ahhhh the City of Lights but, of course, our surf heroes will not be here to enjoy. They will be halfway across the world on the island of Tahiti facing clawing over that Teahupo’o ledge.

Surf fans, near and far, are very excited and throwing their money at bookies after odds just opened. Derek Rielly dutifully reported that “the market expects Gabriel Medina to win (3-1) followed by John John Florence (4-1), Jack Robinson (4.90-1), Kauli Vaast (8-1), Griffin Colapinto (14-1) and Filipe Toledo at 26-1.”

Yes, the brave coward has better odds than countryman, and hell charger, Joao Chianca, Australia’s Ethan Ewing and Japan by way of Huntington Beach’s Kanoa Igarashi even though he has famously refused to paddle Head Place, scoring a historic 0.00 heat score, and, years later, losing to two elderly men.

But maybe the aforementioned bookmakers see something we don’t (due BeachGrit’s severe Instagram blockage)? Might the Li’l Lion be channeling his inner 6 God?

In a stirring post, Toledo can be seen brushing his teeth with braided hair calling in the power of Drake. Except has the small wave wizard, and bookies, not been following popular culture? As you clearly know, the Canadian rapper was once on the top of his game until, that is, he decided it was a good idea to paddle Kendrick Lamar and then…

…an over the falls annihilation that somehow gets worse by the day.

In any case, have you ever ad your hair braided?

In Bali or Mexico or somewhere like such?

Be honest.

Also, have you ever taken a bathroom selfie cuz you thought you looked tres sexy?

Same honesty applies.