Filipe Toledo and daddy Ricardo Toledo.
Filipe Toledo and daddy Ricardo Toledo, two passionate surfers who dared to take on the world and win.

Bookmakers reveal Filipe Toledo among favourites for Olympic gold as betting market opens for Paris 2024!

Smart money on the glorious return of world champ Pip Toledo!

In a move that may shock surfers, and within that subset readers of BeachGrit, bookmakers have cast world champ Filipe Toledo as one of the top six favourites for Olympic gold at Teahupoo. 

In order, the market expects Gabriel Medina to win (3-1) followed by John John Florence (4-1), Jack Robinson (4.90-1), Kauli Vaast (8-1), Griffin Colapinto (14-1) and Filipe Toledo at 26-1. 

Toledo, a twenty-nine-year-old daddy of two as well as the holder of two world crowns, has long had a difficult relationship with the Tahitian lefthander, as has this writer, five campaigns, zero tubes. You’ll recall, one month ago, when the king of surf journalists himself, Surfline’s Nick Carroll, openly declared that Filipe Toledo should give his Olympic spot to Italo Ferreira. 

“Italo…he’s come from poverty to a world title, won the first surfing Olympics, battled with form and disillusionment, and just won the best contest since that title at Pipe. Vahine’s now full-on favorite for the approaching Games at what’s pretty much her homebreak. Maybe Filipe should give Italo his spot.”

The bookies clearly think otherwise and predict, at the very least, a top six finish for Filipe Toledo who hasn’t competed since withdrawing from the Pipeline event in February following his humiliating first round loss and relegation to the elimination round.

Toledo subsequently withdrew from the event, and later the tour, citing an unspecified “illness”.

In other surprises Australian Ethan Ewing is a very dark horse 34-1, Joao Chianca 29-1, Japan’s Kanoa Igarashi is 46-1 and Germany’s Tim Elter a wild ol 126-1. 

In the gals, ain’t no surprises.

The market favours local Vahine Fierro (4-1), Caz Marks (5.50-1), Caity Simmers, Tatiana Weston-Webb and Brisa Hennessy, all at 7.50. 

Smart bets?

Well, there ain’t such a thing, but if you’ve got money to lose, throw a c-note on Ethan and Caity for wins. 

The Paris 2024 Olympic surfing competition at Teahupoo in Tahiti is scheduled to take place between July 27 and August 4, 2024.

Here’s how the contest works.

Round 1:
Eight heats of three surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances directly to Round 3.
The other two surfers move to Round 2.

Round 2:
Eight heats of two surfers.
The winner of each heat advances to Round 3.

Round 3:
Sixteen surfers compete in eight heats of two surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances to the quarterfinals.

Quarterfinals:
Eight surfers compete in four heats of two surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances to the semifinals.

Semifinals:
Four surfers compete in two heats of two surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances to the gold medal match, and the losers compete in the bronze medal match.

Finals:
Two surfers compete in the gold medal match.
Two surfers compete in the bronze medal match.

WOMEN’S SURFING HEAT DRAW FOR PARIS 2024

Heat 1: Yolanda Hopkins (POR), Caroline Marks (USA), Sarah Baum (RSA)
Heat 2: Sol Aguirre (PER), Janire Etxabarri (ESP), Vahine Fierro (FRA)
Heat 3: Anat Lelior (ISR), Sanoa Dempfle-Olin (CAN), Tyler Wright (AUS)
Heat 4: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA), Molly Picklum (AUS), Caitlin Simmers (USA)
Heat 5: Johanne Defay (FRA), Brisa Hennessy (CRC), Candelaria Resano (NCA)
Heat 6: Tainá Hinckel (BRA), Camila Kemp (GER), Luana Silva (BRA)
Heat 7: Nadia Erostarbe (ESP), Siqi Yang (CHN), Saffi Vette (NZL)
Heat 8: Carissa Moore (USA), Teresa Bonvalot (POR), Matsuda Shino (JPN)

MEN’S SURFING HEAT DRAW FOR PARIS 2024

Heat 1: Ethan Ewing (AUS), Tim Elter (GER), Jordy Smith (RSA)
Heat 2: Joan Duru (FRA), Jack Robinson (AUS), Matthew McGillivray (RSA)
Heat 3: Alonso Correa (PER), Filipe Toledo (BRA), Kanoa Igarashi (JPN)
Heat 4: Gabriel Medina (BRA), Connor O’Leary (JPN), Bryan Perez (ESA)
Heat 5: Ramzi Boukhiam (MAR), Billy Stairmand (NZL), João Chianca (BRA)
Heat 6: Andy Criere (ESP), John John Florence (USA), Alan Cleland (MAR)
Heat 7: Kauli Vaast (FRA), Lucca Mesinas (PER), Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 8: Rio Waida (INA), Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA), Inaba Reo (JPN)

 

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Surfer Nephew (I think).
Surfer Nephew (I think).

“Surfer Nephew” trends as hottest new summer aesthetic

"The goal is to look like you just threw together your outfit last minute, plucking discarded clothes from your bedroom floor or from the back of your jeep..."

Now, anyone here with a young-ish daughter or niece has come to realize the word “aesthetic” has an entirely new meaning in this modern age. In old times, it simply referred to the particular principles connecting an artists work back to itself or that defined a whole artistic movement. Now, it means style and is quantified by a descriptor. Girls can be VSCO, cottagecore, fairycore, dark academia, baddie, pastel goth or the newest and hottest, surfer nephew.

What is the surfer nephew aesthetic?

Per Fashion:

Think about what one of the girls from 2002’s surfing movie Blue Crush might wear today for a casual dinner with a hunky out-of-towner — perhaps a white tee layered over a slip dress with Tkees sandals and a raffia bag? Quintessential surfer chick Ivy Sullivan from 90210 is another good reference. The goal is to look like you just threw together your outfit last minute, plucking discarded clothes from your bedroom floor or from the back of your jeep, and they just happen to look phenomenal together. It could be your situationship’s oversized button down! Your brother’s old graphic tee! The only criteria is it has to look casual, coastal and oh so chic.

The phrase was coined by stylist Allison Bornstein and is related to the desert aunt aesthetic though the desert aunt is into dogs and cats, surfer nephew just dogs. The desert aunt also says “wonderful” while surfer nephew says “awesome.”

Observing the obsession with different aesthetics is, I must say, fascinating. Girls will get in knock down drag out fights if their aesthetic is either mislabeled or misidentified.

A wild sort of localism we surfer uncles/fathers can only dream of.


Jake Howard (insert) and the new Surfer Magazine.
Jake Howard (insert) and the new Surfer Magazine.

Surfer Magazine editor promises to create “positive uplifting place for women and people of color” in bold direction shift

“It feels a little bit like we’re running down the beach to get to the surf while trying to put our boardshorts on at the same time.”

Now, the last thing any surfer wanted or needed was the exhumation of Surfer Magazine’s rotting corpse. Once proud and true, Surfer had fallen into various odd hands before David Pecker stuck it in the heart with a gilded knife and buried it in a shallow unmarked grave.

A short handful of years later, the Arena Group, a “tech powered media company,” marched into the wood with shovels, found it and shocked it back to life. Being “tech powered,” the easy go was to plug artificial intelligence into Surfer’s brain hole et voila.

Emily Morgan.

Except investors weren’t happy with non-humans writing, editing etc. and so the powers that remained tapped one Jake Howard. A dominant figure in surf editorship, having held positions at the World Surf League, Red Bull, etc., Howard wasting no time, in changing directions entirely from Surfer’s old cloistered and mean, often racist generally misogynistic reputation to… well, to a bold progressive future.

Howard was, officially, finally introduced via a Shop-Eat-Surf interview moments ago and let us read his words without spin.

“It feels a little bit like we’re running down the beach to get to the surf while trying to put our boardshorts on at the same time.”

“Surfers today are seeing the sport differently. They’re coming at it from different perspectives. There are more women and people of color in the water than ever before. And, for many surfers, surfing is just part of their outdoor interests.”

“We want to invite them all into the big tent. We all started surfing because it’s so fun. The world is seeing challenging times and surfing can be a beacon of hope. Let’s build on that.”

“Evergreen stories that will be meaningful and hold their value — that’s our guideline.”

Clearly a brutal slam on BeachGrit at the end.

But bright skies ahead


Mark Zuckerberg surfing, July 4 Instagram post.
Mark Zuckerberg, controlling a wake surfboard while drinking a Coors OG and raising the ol stars and stripes.

Mark Zuckerberg reveals worrying medical issue in July 4 post as he pivots away from MMA and back to surfing roots!

Facebook founder Zuck chugs Coors while surfing in a tux and hoisting stars and stripes!

Almost one year after Mark Zuckerberg completed a shock sweep of medals at a jiujitsu contest, the billionaire founder of Facebook and co-owner of Instagram, has returned to his surfing roots with a July 4 post showing him in a tux chugging a beer while surfing and hoisting the stars and stripes.

And, quick to dive into the tech maestro’s comments was a who’s who of the surfing world including Jamie O’Brien, Kolohe Andino, Italo Ferreira and Big Wave World Tour champion and four-time Jaws winner Billy Kemper, whom we last saw on these pages rebuking Hawaiian Airlines in the most savage of takedowns.

“Legendary,” writes the carrot-topped king of Pipeline Jamie O’Brien.

“Good ol Yellow Bellys,” writes legendary surf-hater Kolohe Andino, referring to Mark Zuckerberg’s choice of YellowBelly beer, the famous anti-racist creation by Sweden’s Omnipollo and United Kingdom’s Buxton Brewery. The beer’s white paper packaging, complete with eye holes, was designed to lampoon the KKK.

(Editor’s note: Eagle-eyed readers have since pointed out the beer held and enjoyed by Mark Zuckerberg is actually a Coors, its aluminium can earning the sobriquet “yellow belly” for its sunshine yellow appearance, and not the anti-racist Yellow Belly beer with eye holes etc.)

A worrying response to Billy Kemper, however, who writes, “next one in the barrel, I’ll tow you in!”

Zuckerberg replies, “Let’s do it when I’m fully recovered.”

Fight fans will know, of course, that Mark Zuckerberg blew his knee out late last year while prepping for an MMA fight.

Almost eight months since he got kneecapped and still getting those hot poker stabs of pain?

Worrying, thoughts, prayers, gofundme etc.

 

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Stephanie Gilmore, sad, Make or Break.
Stephanie Gilmore, sad. | Photo: Make or Break

Nightmare comes true as World Surf League almost admits “Make or Break” officially cancelled

"Some gnarly news for those who love to hang 10."

“Some gnarly news for those who love to hang 10” dropped this morning as the World Surf League has officially admitted that the much-loved Apple TV+ program Make or Break has been cancelled after just two seasons. Surf fans have been logging into smart televisions for weeks, now, terrified that they might miss the premier. Alas, that terror now transformed into run-of-the-mill depression.

The “newly minted” (i.e. demoted) WSL Commissioner Jessi Miley-Dyer was forced to almost admit to the failure at the recent “Winning: Women & Sports” conference, declaring, “Make or Break‘s on hold. Obviously, it’s been a great show for us. It’s been really valuable. But the most important thing we’ve had are the relationships through Make or Break, and we still have that exclusive relationship with Box to Box [Films], the production company.”

“On hold” a common euphemism for “shit canned.”

Miley-Dyer continued attempting to apply lipstick to a canceled series, hinting that “other things are in development” including “Pipe Dreams” and “Inside Pro Surfing” but “This one’s on hold, obviously.”

One surf fan, preferring to remain unnamed, responded, “Obviously? It wasn’t obvious to me. I’ve been waiting to see the behind-the-scenes around champion Filipe Toledo’s shock withdrawal at the start of the season for months. I guess I’ll never get to know the reason now. Gnarly news.”

Pipe Dreams, though. Do you imagine its a film adaptation of the culturally important Kelly Slater biography which takes us:

From Beach Blanket Bingo to Baywatch to Blue Crush, surfing has fascinated people for years, and Kelly Slater is the sport’s hottest star. He has won more world championships than any other competitor, and he continues to change peoples’ minds about what can and can’t be done on a surfboard. His wild ride has included fame, fortune, a stint on Baywatch, and a high-profile relationship with Pamela Anderson. Not bad for a skinny kid from a broken home in Cocoa Beach, Florida.

Not bad at all.

More as the story develops.