Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop.

The Olympics is but weeks away now and the Parisienne streets are teeming with preparation. Workmen busily spackle exteriors, apply signage to walls, generally hustle and bustle about. Yes, it will be a glorious Games, of this I’m certain and even more certain after hearing about Antoine Arnault admitting that his family’s Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy is designing the medals that will soon be hung around athletes’ necks.

Ahhhh the City of Lights but, of course, our surf heroes will not be here to enjoy. They will be halfway across the world on the island of Tahiti facing clawing over that Teahupo’o ledge.

Surf fans, near and far, are very excited and throwing their money at bookies after odds just opened. Derek Rielly dutifully reported that “the market expects Gabriel Medina to win (3-1) followed by John John Florence (4-1), Jack Robinson (4.90-1), Kauli Vaast (8-1), Griffin Colapinto (14-1) and Filipe Toledo at 26-1.”

Yes, the brave coward has better odds than countryman, and hell charger, Joao Chianca, Australia’s Ethan Ewing and Japan by way of Huntington Beach’s Kanoa Igarashi even though he has famously refused to paddle Head Place, scoring a historic 0.00 heat score, and, years later, losing to two elderly men.

But maybe the aforementioned bookmakers see something we don’t (due BeachGrit’s severe Instagram blockage)? Might the Li’l Lion be channeling his inner 6 God?

In a stirring post, Toledo can be seen brushing his teeth with braided hair calling in the power of Drake. Except has the small wave wizard, and bookies, not been following popular culture? As you clearly know, the Canadian rapper was once on the top of his game until, that is, he decided it was a good idea to paddle Kendrick Lamar and then…

…an over the falls annihilation that somehow gets worse by the day.

In any case, have you ever ad your hair braided?

In Bali or Mexico or somewhere like such?

Be honest.

Also, have you ever taken a bathroom selfie cuz you thought you looked tres sexy?

Same honesty applies.

"The goal is to look like you just threw together your outfit last minute, plucking discarded clothes from your bedroom floor or from the back of your jeep..."

Now, anyone here with a young-ish daughter or niece has come to realize the word “aesthetic” has an entirely new meaning in this modern age. In old times, it simply referred to the particular principles connecting an artists work back to itself or that defined a whole artistic movement. Now, it means style and is quantified by a descriptor. Girls can be VSCO, cottagecore, fairycore, dark academia, baddie, pastel goth or the newest and hottest, surfer nephew.

What is the surfer nephew aesthetic?

Per Fashion:

Think about what one of the girls from 2002’s surfing movie Blue Crush might wear today for a casual dinner with a hunky out-of-towner — perhaps a white tee layered over a slip dress with Tkees sandals and a raffia bag? Quintessential surfer chick Ivy Sullivan from 90210 is another good reference. The goal is to look like you just threw together your outfit last minute, plucking discarded clothes from your bedroom floor or from the back of your jeep, and they just happen to look phenomenal together. It could be your situationship’s oversized button down! Your brother’s old graphic tee! The only criteria is it has to look casual, coastal and oh so chic.

The phrase was coined by stylist Allison Bornstein and is related to the desert aunt aesthetic though the desert aunt is into dogs and cats, surfer nephew just dogs. The desert aunt also says “wonderful” while surfer nephew says “awesome.”

Observing the obsession with different aesthetics is, I must say, fascinating. Girls will get in knock down drag out fights if their aesthetic is either mislabeled or misidentified.

A wild sort of localism we surfer uncles/fathers can only dream of.