Filipe Toledo (pictured) and that Hotline Bling.
Filipe Toledo (pictured) and that Hotline Bling.

Small wave wizard Filipe Toledo channels former rap star Drake ahead of Olympic surf debut

Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop.

The Olympics is but weeks away now and the Parisienne streets are teeming with preparation. Workmen busily spackle exteriors, apply signage to walls, generally hustle and bustle about. Yes, it will be a glorious Games, of this I’m certain and even more certain after hearing about Antoine Arnault admitting that his family’s Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy is designing the medals that will soon be hung around athletes’ necks.

Ahhhh the City of Lights but, of course, our surf heroes will not be here to enjoy. They will be halfway across the world on the island of Tahiti facing clawing over that Teahupo’o ledge.

Surf fans, near and far, are very excited and throwing their money at bookies after odds just opened. Derek Rielly dutifully reported that “the market expects Gabriel Medina to win (3-1) followed by John John Florence (4-1), Jack Robinson (4.90-1), Kauli Vaast (8-1), Griffin Colapinto (14-1) and Filipe Toledo at 26-1.”

Yes, the brave coward has better odds than countryman, and hell charger, Joao Chianca, Australia’s Ethan Ewing and Japan by way of Huntington Beach’s Kanoa Igarashi even though he has famously refused to paddle Head Place, scoring a historic 0.00 heat score, and, years later, losing to two elderly men.

But maybe the aforementioned bookmakers see something we don’t (due BeachGrit’s severe Instagram blockage)? Might the Li’l Lion be channeling his inner 6 God?

In a stirring post, Toledo can be seen brushing his teeth with braided hair calling in the power of Drake. Except has the small wave wizard, and bookies, not been following popular culture? As you clearly know, the Canadian rapper was once on the top of his game until, that is, he decided it was a good idea to paddle Kendrick Lamar and then…

…an over the falls annihilation that somehow gets worse by the day.

In any case, have you ever ad your hair braided?

In Bali or Mexico or somewhere like such?

Be honest.

Also, have you ever taken a bathroom selfie cuz you thought you looked tres sexy?

Same honesty applies.

Ivanka Trump (pictured) savaging wind surfers on Lex Fridman.
Ivanka Trump (pictured) savaging wind surfers on Lex Fridman.

Former first daughter Ivanka Trump savages “violent, manipulating” wind surfers in Lex Fridman sit down

A heavy blow.

Paris is bustling with activity ahead of the 2024 Olympic Games but my days are relatively serene. Wake early, get an americano, come home and rouse daughter who puts on her pink leotard, pink tights and pulls hair into tight bun, walk to the train to ride to Paris Opera’s ecole de danse, deposit her behind the iron gate, leave, find a cafe, sit, ponder the meaning of surfing, ride the train back to the ecole, retrieve her, eat a late dinner and retire.

It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone. That other thinkers are out there wondering what it all means. Important minds like the august Sam George and Ivanka Trump.

The latter recently sat across from computer head and podcaster Lex Fridman in order to share deeper thoughts. “In a lot of water sports I feel you are manipulating the environment,” the former first daughter begins, adding, “and there’s something that can be a little violent about it. Like, look at wind surfing. Whereas with surfing you’re in harmony with it. You’re not fighting it, you’re flowing with it.”

Wind surfers certainly did not see that attack coming and must be reeling. Sorting out how their violent manipulation came to be so obvious. To be honest, I’ve never had a problem with our miniature sailing brothers and sisters. Any time the wind is good for them it is not good for me, and so I don’t mind them at all.

Trump then went on to describe a horror surf session where she packed five waves on the head while trying to make it into the lineup but, otherwise, harmony prevailed.

David Lee Scales and I touched on her words and also how Billy Kemper recently sucked up to Mark Zuckerberg on Instagram. A fine show certainly worth listening to.

Bon apetit.

Johnny Konings reacts to messages from Israel Adasanya and Alexander Volkanovski.
Johnny Konings reacts to messages from Israel Adasanya and Alexander Volkanovski.

UFC gods Israel Adasanya and Alex Volkanovski send heartwarming videograms to surfer paralysed after horror wipeout

"What you're going through right now, brah, I can't even imagine."

Three weeks back, the life of Johnny Konings, born in New Zealand but living the surfer’s GC dream with his girl Charlotte, turned to hell when he butchered a takeoff and was pile-driven into a shallow bank at D-Bah. 

“I just didn’t make the drop on the take-off and got tumbled around, covered up, because I knew I was about to take a beating,” says thirty-one-year-old Johnny, who’s now in a spinal ward in a Brisbane hospital. “And then, yeah, just impact straight onto the sand and came to the surface and knew straight away.”

Calling someone lucky when they can’t feel their legs might be a bit of a stretch, but the kid has a girl who looks like she’s gonna be around for the long haul


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“When life gives you lemons,” says Charlotte, “you throw in some lime, salt, a shit ton of tequila and make a bloody strong margarita.”

And, earlier today, Johnny’s DMs lit up with messages from UFC gods Israel “The Last Stylebender” Adasanya, Nigerian-born but who grew up, like Johnny, in New Zealand, and Australia’s pint-sized superhero Alexander “The Great” Volkanovski.

“Man, I just wanna send you a message to send my support, my love,” says Israel Adasanya, as Johnny watches, weeping. “What you’re going through right now, brah, I can’t even imagine…”

As a little extra icing, even Kelly Slater swung into the action, reposting Izzy’s message to Johnny. 

Wanna help ’em out? The fundraiser has picked up a little since the last time we wrote about it, but still only 38 gees out of a hundred k goal. Click here to help Johnny and Charlotte out. 

Filipe Toledo and daddy Ricardo Toledo.
Filipe Toledo and daddy Ricardo Toledo, two passionate surfers who dared to take on the world and win.

Bookmakers reveal Filipe Toledo among favourites for Olympic gold as betting market opens for Paris 2024!

Smart money on the glorious return of world champ Pip Toledo!

In a move that may shock surfers, and within that subset readers of BeachGrit, bookmakers have cast world champ Filipe Toledo as one of the top six favourites for Olympic gold at Teahupoo. 

In order, the market expects Gabriel Medina to win (3-1) followed by John John Florence (4-1), Jack Robinson (4.90-1), Kauli Vaast (8-1), Griffin Colapinto (14-1) and Filipe Toledo at 26-1. 

Toledo, a twenty-nine-year-old daddy of two as well as the holder of two world crowns, has long had a difficult relationship with the Tahitian lefthander, as has this writer, five campaigns, zero tubes. You’ll recall, one month ago, when the king of surf journalists himself, Surfline’s Nick Carroll, openly declared that Filipe Toledo should give his Olympic spot to Italo Ferreira. 

“Italo…he’s come from poverty to a world title, won the first surfing Olympics, battled with form and disillusionment, and just won the best contest since that title at Pipe. Vahine’s now full-on favorite for the approaching Games at what’s pretty much her homebreak. Maybe Filipe should give Italo his spot.”

The bookies clearly think otherwise and predict, at the very least, a top six finish for Filipe Toledo who hasn’t competed since withdrawing from the Pipeline event in February following his humiliating first round loss and relegation to the elimination round.

Toledo subsequently withdrew from the event, and later the tour, citing an unspecified “illness”.

In other surprises Australian Ethan Ewing is a very dark horse 34-1, Joao Chianca 29-1, Japan’s Kanoa Igarashi is 46-1 and Germany’s Tim Elter a wild ol 126-1. 

In the gals, ain’t no surprises.

The market favours local Vahine Fierro (4-1), Caz Marks (5.50-1), Caity Simmers, Tatiana Weston-Webb and Brisa Hennessy, all at 7.50. 

Smart bets?

Well, there ain’t such a thing, but if you’ve got money to lose, throw a c-note on Ethan and Caity for wins. 

The Paris 2024 Olympic surfing competition at Teahupoo in Tahiti is scheduled to take place between July 27 and August 4, 2024.

Here’s how the contest works.

Round 1:
Eight heats of three surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances directly to Round 3.
The other two surfers move to Round 2.

Round 2:
Eight heats of two surfers.
The winner of each heat advances to Round 3.

Round 3:
Sixteen surfers compete in eight heats of two surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances to the quarterfinals.

Eight surfers compete in four heats of two surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances to the semifinals.

Four surfers compete in two heats of two surfers each.
The winner of each heat advances to the gold medal match, and the losers compete in the bronze medal match.

Two surfers compete in the gold medal match.
Two surfers compete in the bronze medal match.


Heat 1: Yolanda Hopkins (POR), Caroline Marks (USA), Sarah Baum (RSA)
Heat 2: Sol Aguirre (PER), Janire Etxabarri (ESP), Vahine Fierro (FRA)
Heat 3: Anat Lelior (ISR), Sanoa Dempfle-Olin (CAN), Tyler Wright (AUS)
Heat 4: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA), Molly Picklum (AUS), Caitlin Simmers (USA)
Heat 5: Johanne Defay (FRA), Brisa Hennessy (CRC), Candelaria Resano (NCA)
Heat 6: Tainá Hinckel (BRA), Camila Kemp (GER), Luana Silva (BRA)
Heat 7: Nadia Erostarbe (ESP), Siqi Yang (CHN), Saffi Vette (NZL)
Heat 8: Carissa Moore (USA), Teresa Bonvalot (POR), Matsuda Shino (JPN)


Heat 1: Ethan Ewing (AUS), Tim Elter (GER), Jordy Smith (RSA)
Heat 2: Joan Duru (FRA), Jack Robinson (AUS), Matthew McGillivray (RSA)
Heat 3: Alonso Correa (PER), Filipe Toledo (BRA), Kanoa Igarashi (JPN)
Heat 4: Gabriel Medina (BRA), Connor O’Leary (JPN), Bryan Perez (ESA)
Heat 5: Ramzi Boukhiam (MAR), Billy Stairmand (NZL), João Chianca (BRA)
Heat 6: Andy Criere (ESP), John John Florence (USA), Alan Cleland (MAR)
Heat 7: Kauli Vaast (FRA), Lucca Mesinas (PER), Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 8: Rio Waida (INA), Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA), Inaba Reo (JPN)


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Surfer Nephew (I think).
Surfer Nephew (I think).

“Surfer Nephew” trends as hottest new summer aesthetic

"The goal is to look like you just threw together your outfit last minute, plucking discarded clothes from your bedroom floor or from the back of your jeep..."

Now, anyone here with a young-ish daughter or niece has come to realize the word “aesthetic” has an entirely new meaning in this modern age. In old times, it simply referred to the particular principles connecting an artists work back to itself or that defined a whole artistic movement. Now, it means style and is quantified by a descriptor. Girls can be VSCO, cottagecore, fairycore, dark academia, baddie, pastel goth or the newest and hottest, surfer nephew.

What is the surfer nephew aesthetic?

Per Fashion:

Think about what one of the girls from 2002’s surfing movie Blue Crush might wear today for a casual dinner with a hunky out-of-towner — perhaps a white tee layered over a slip dress with Tkees sandals and a raffia bag? Quintessential surfer chick Ivy Sullivan from 90210 is another good reference. The goal is to look like you just threw together your outfit last minute, plucking discarded clothes from your bedroom floor or from the back of your jeep, and they just happen to look phenomenal together. It could be your situationship’s oversized button down! Your brother’s old graphic tee! The only criteria is it has to look casual, coastal and oh so chic.

The phrase was coined by stylist Allison Bornstein and is related to the desert aunt aesthetic though the desert aunt is into dogs and cats, surfer nephew just dogs. The desert aunt also says “wonderful” while surfer nephew says “awesome.”

Observing the obsession with different aesthetics is, I must say, fascinating. Girls will get in knock down drag out fights if their aesthetic is either mislabeled or misidentified.

A wild sort of localism we surfer uncles/fathers can only dream of.