"They are national heroes."
Australia, that magical continent which is also a country floating south of the equator pretty much all by its lonesome, has long held much room in the American and English mind. Quirky animals running to and fro, a quirkier population wandering pristine streets wearing bush hats and carrying Bowie knives. Funny names for coffee, friends, kissing.
It should come as no surprise that life expectancy in the Lucky Country is much higher than America/England, a whopping 83.30 years compared to 76.33 (America) and 80.70 (England), but the reason has long mystified scientists.
Until now.
A blistering new op-ed about why life is so much better, and longer, Down Under credits “tradesmen knocking off work at 3pm to go surfing” for the healthy spike.
Ex-pat Angela Mollard, a New Zealander who lived in England for a decade before relocating to Australia’s Manly, opens her think piece by savaging the United Kingdom and its fat people using “mobility scooters” to get around before praising Australia, its Mamils, or middle-aged men in lycra, and the aforementioned surfing tradesmen who, according to her, are considered “national heroes” for buoying the soaring life expectancy.
“If I’m honest, it was British men who once seduced me to your country,” Mollard wrote. “They made me laugh. But as you age and health becomes your new metric, you don’t want a bloke who looks like he’s hewn from pork pie and salad cream. Incidentally, you’d be hard-pressed to find those foodstuffs here (in Australia). Rather, you need steak, lentils, vegetables and kombucha if you want a body like Aussie stars Chris Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman or Margot Robbie. And a lot of us do, because public health campaigns, which begin at school, have laid out the benefits.”
Very cool though are you, dear doughy non-Australian reader, jealous?
Considering a move yourself?
