"I am now questioning everything I thought I knew about everything."

So there I was, this morning, casually scrolling my phone right around 7:30 when I stumbled on the otherwise innocuous headline “Lara Worthington shows off her incredible figure in a swimsuit as she goes surfing with husband Sam in Costa Rica.” Both names rang a distant bell but not enough to immediately pique interest and so I moved on to read about the Scandinavian sleep method that couples swear by.

Later, near 8:00, I came downstairs to make coffee and get BeachGrit’s day started, wondering what treats would be in store for you, dear reader, today. Perusing the various surf newses, I was, once again, presented with Lara Worthington’s incredible figure.

This time I clicked and my/our whole world came crashing down around me/us.

The piece thankfully led off with reference to Worthington being one of Australia’s most successful models, which allowed me to recall that she used to be Lara Bingle and I remembered her from the Oyster days, as I once wrote for that beautiful fashion magazine. She was, anyhow, spotted in Costa Rica, wearing a “form fitting one-piece,” finishing off her look with a pair of camo-print Crocs with her love, Sam, and presumably their three boys Rocket, Racer and River (take note, Kelly Slater).

Seeing the name Sam Worthington for the second time allowed me to recall him as the lead actor in the James Cameron franchise Avatar.

So there they were, in Costa Rica and, as promised in the headline, surfing. Or at least she was surfing on a yellowing 8-foot funboard. Typical rental fare. The first image of her smiling broadly while riding on her knees was directly next to an image of Sam, who appeared to be riding to shore on his belly. I zoomed in to try an suss out what sort of craft he was on but could not really see through the spray.

Deeper into the piece there were many more snaps of Lara laying on her board, carrying her board, smiling with surf friends…

…and then hammertown.

A photo of Sam zooming down the line all properly positioned etc. on a bodyboard.

Now, we’ve all seen celebrities playing on boogies in the shorebreak etc. but this was not that. The 48-year-old was clearly not just goofing around but serious and looked serious, arm cocked, leaning in, staring at a section to el rollo.

His ride, also, not rental fare, likely a custom and certainly brought from home.

World crashed.

Sam Worthington is a hardcore booger committed to the lifestyle.

I am now questioning everything I thought I knew about everything.

You probably should too.

A love story.

It’s a good thing this didn’t happen in Brazil, if you know what I mean, House Toledo shaken to its very core, but Hurricane Debby washed a reported $1.6 million United States dollars of cocaine on Florida’s shores after passing by the Sunshine State earlier this month. Surfers wiping noses and solving the world’s most intractable problems. The fourth named storm of the season was described as “erratic” by meteorologists and know we know why.

A “good Samaritan” alerted authorities after stumbling cocaine packages weighing about 70 pounds with an estimated street value of more than $1 million.

“We appreciate the help of Good Samaritans in our community who saw something unusual and contacted law enforcement,” Collier County Sheriff Kevin Rambosk declared.

Boaters found a further $625,000 USD of cocaine floating it the crystalline waters. They, too, turned their find over.

“Some smugglers intentionally drop bales of drugs wrapped in plastic or watertight containers into the sea at predetermined locations for later retrieval by other smugglers,” Brian Townsend, a retired supervisory special agent with the Drug Enforcement Administration, told the most trusted name in news. Weird currents from hurricanes can snatch the loot right up and spit it out in lineups.

Heady days.

But have you ever discovered a bale of cocaine, however small, while surfing?

What did you do with it?

Share, please.

While gathering your thoughts, the award-adjacent book Cocaine + Surfing is available once more after it, too, was nearly cancelled. Get while hot.

"And from a spectator’s perspective, I personally don’t think wave pools are great to watch."

Olympic surfing, man. Here, dear and in your face. But who amongst us would have imagined a day when our surfing shortboard heroes and heroines would compete for gold, silver and bronze on the grandest sporting stage in history? But a mirage before Tokyo 2021 nee 2020 but now, after Paris 2024 and its Teahupoo, heading into LA 2028 and its… Huntington Beach? Lower Trestles? Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch? Wherever it will be, its as real as former World Surf League CEO’s new career as a social media influencer.

But back to the “where” for LA28, though.

After Teahupoo was beset by lulls and less-than-ideal conditions during most of the waiting period, a movement emerged to host future Games in artificial wave pools. Even superlative critic JP Currie wrote at the end of Olympic shortboard surfing’s second running, “Whilst we might appreciate the technical skill required to ride a barrel, just as the climber appreciates the aesthetic line up the whole mountain, what the general audience wants to see are surfers flipping and spinning on a consistent stage, or climbers racing up an artificial wall. They don’t care about the intricacies of waves or weather. They simply want to see sport that’s consistent, fair, and relatable. Call me delirious, tell me it’s my current sick state of mind, but if surfing has an Olympic future, it must be in a wavepool.”

The drive to tub found a likely ally in the world’s best small wave surfer Filipe Toledo, a boy with an understandable terror of large lefts over shallow reef, who declared, “I love the sea and I don’t think anything beats nature! But, when it comes to the Olympics, I think it would be the fairest way! Everyone would have enough chance to put their best foot forward! Let’s be honest, if the sea continued as it was in round three, Gabriel would win the gold and we know that! The pool provides this condition from start to finish, and in the end, the best surfer really wins! If I lost in the wave pool, I would at least lose surfing and giving my best, which wasn’t the case with Gabriel, who in my opinion didn’t even lose, he just didn’t have a chance!”

Well, in a stunning riposte, silver medalist Jack Robinson, who hails from Australia, smashed the notion to bits in a new Sydney Morning Herald interview. The handsome Western Australian, perhaps nodding to Toledo and his father Ricardo, definitively stated, “Personally, if a (Olympic) host country has waves, use them. America has waves in Hawaii and California. Some people might prefer a wave pool because it suits their surfing, but for me, training in the ocean is a huge part of competitive surfing. It’s such a skill and you take that with you into a wave pool. And from a spectator’s perspective, I personally don’t think wave pools are great to watch. Maybe they will be someday. But right now I find it very repetitive to watch. Usually the waves can only handle a certain size and if a wave is quite long it gets boring, it’s the same old manoeuvres and movements over and over again. I’m not writing off wave pools, I think they will have their place at some point. But right now, for the Olympics, I don’t think so.”

Phi Slamma Jamma.

Some housekeeping.

Do you think the World Surf League will fine Robinson for openly opining that “I personally don’t think wave pools are great to watch” what with the ink not yet dry on the announcement of next year’s Abu Dhabi Pro?

Do you think Filipe Toledo will re-think his stance, admit to a shortcoming and learn to conquer his fear through dogged training and effort?

I guess that’s mostly it.

Thoughts?