Florida surfers wipe noses, fix world’s problems, after Hurricane Debby delivers cocaine to beaches

A love story.

It’s a good thing this didn’t happen in Brazil, if you know what I mean, House Toledo shaken to its very core, but Hurricane Debby washed a reported $1.6 million United States dollars of cocaine on Florida’s shores after passing by the Sunshine State earlier this month. Surfers wiping noses and solving the world’s most intractable problems. The fourth named storm of the season was described as “erratic” by meteorologists and know we know why.

A “good Samaritan” alerted authorities after stumbling cocaine packages weighing about 70 pounds with an estimated street value of more than $1 million.

“We appreciate the help of Good Samaritans in our community who saw something unusual and contacted law enforcement,” Collier County Sheriff Kevin Rambosk declared.

Boaters found a further $625,000 USD of cocaine floating it the crystalline waters. They, too, turned their find over.

“Some smugglers intentionally drop bales of drugs wrapped in plastic or watertight containers into the sea at predetermined locations for later retrieval by other smugglers,” Brian Townsend, a retired supervisory special agent with the Drug Enforcement Administration, told the most trusted name in news. Weird currents from hurricanes can snatch the loot right up and spit it out in lineups.

Heady days.

But have you ever discovered a bale of cocaine, however small, while surfing?

What did you do with it?

Share, please.

While gathering your thoughts, the award-adjacent book Cocaine + Surfing is available once more after it, too, was nearly cancelled. Get while hot.

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Jack Robinson (insert) and Filipe Toledo locked in metaphysical battle.
Jack Robinson (insert) and Filipe Toledo locked in metaphysical battle.

Silver medalist Jack Robinson slams little wave wizard Filipe Toledo-backed initiative to contest Olympic surfing in wave pool

"And from a spectator’s perspective, I personally don’t think wave pools are great to watch."

Olympic surfing, man. Here, dear and in your face. But who amongst us would have imagined a day when our surfing shortboard heroes and heroines would compete for gold, silver and bronze on the grandest sporting stage in history? But a mirage before Tokyo 2021 nee 2020 but now, after Paris 2024 and its Teahupoo, heading into LA 2028 and its… Huntington Beach? Lower Trestles? Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch? Wherever it will be, its as real as former World Surf League CEO’s new career as a social media influencer.

But back to the “where” for LA28, though.

After Teahupoo was beset by lulls and less-than-ideal conditions during most of the waiting period, a movement emerged to host future Games in artificial wave pools. Even superlative critic JP Currie wrote at the end of Olympic shortboard surfing’s second running, “Whilst we might appreciate the technical skill required to ride a barrel, just as the climber appreciates the aesthetic line up the whole mountain, what the general audience wants to see are surfers flipping and spinning on a consistent stage, or climbers racing up an artificial wall. They don’t care about the intricacies of waves or weather. They simply want to see sport that’s consistent, fair, and relatable. Call me delirious, tell me it’s my current sick state of mind, but if surfing has an Olympic future, it must be in a wavepool.”

The drive to tub found a likely ally in the world’s best small wave surfer Filipe Toledo, a boy with an understandable terror of large lefts over shallow reef, who declared, “I love the sea and I don’t think anything beats nature! But, when it comes to the Olympics, I think it would be the fairest way! Everyone would have enough chance to put their best foot forward! Let’s be honest, if the sea continued as it was in round three, Gabriel would win the gold and we know that! The pool provides this condition from start to finish, and in the end, the best surfer really wins! If I lost in the wave pool, I would at least lose surfing and giving my best, which wasn’t the case with Gabriel, who in my opinion didn’t even lose, he just didn’t have a chance!”

Well, in a stunning riposte, silver medalist Jack Robinson, who hails from Australia, smashed the notion to bits in a new Sydney Morning Herald interview. The handsome Western Australian, perhaps nodding to Toledo and his father Ricardo, definitively stated, “Personally, if a (Olympic) host country has waves, use them. America has waves in Hawaii and California. Some people might prefer a wave pool because it suits their surfing, but for me, training in the ocean is a huge part of competitive surfing. It’s such a skill and you take that with you into a wave pool. And from a spectator’s perspective, I personally don’t think wave pools are great to watch. Maybe they will be someday. But right now I find it very repetitive to watch. Usually the waves can only handle a certain size and if a wave is quite long it gets boring, it’s the same old manoeuvres and movements over and over again. I’m not writing off wave pools, I think they will have their place at some point. But right now, for the Olympics, I don’t think so.”

Phi Slamma Jamma.

Some housekeeping.

Do you think the World Surf League will fine Robinson for openly opining that “I personally don’t think wave pools are great to watch” what with the ink not yet dry on the announcement of next year’s Abu Dhabi Pro?

Do you think Filipe Toledo will re-think his stance, admit to a shortcoming and learn to conquer his fear through dogged training and effort?

I guess that’s mostly it.

Thoughts?

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WSL Surf Judge
"Alright, alright, alright. Just 'cause I gave Griff a ten don't mean I'm biased. No sir."

Furore over UFC judge sacked mid-event raises timely questions for World Surf League as Finals Day looms!

Instant dismissal for terrible judging! Yes or no?

Whatever you wanna think about the UFC’s frontman Dana White and the nature of blood sport with its ring girls and that ballbearing wiggle of their honey dews between rounds, he’s a straight-shooter.

And, so, yesterday, after one of his three judges made an error so egregious it couldn’t be ignored, the call came in and the judge was sacked mid-card, a decision MMA fans hailed as “landmark.”

A couple of typical responses on Facebook.

This is incredible and such a landmark moment for holding these terrible judges responsible for their actions. I have been saying for years that judges with these kind of atrocious scorecards should be escorted out of the building and it finally happened The company needs to keep this up. That is one of the worst score cards in MMA history.

MMA will now be absolutely changed. I felt relieved seeing him relieved of his duties. Abysmal judging. 

Howie Booth was one of three judges at UFC305 hitting the score cards for the heavyweight bout between Australian Tai “Bam Bam” Tuivasa and Surinamese fighter Jairzinho Rozenstruik.

Jairzinho Rozenstruik beat hell out of Bam Bam for three rounds but when it came down to read the score cards, turned out ol Howie gave every round to Bam Bam. The other two judges were the mirror opposite, all three rounds to Rozenstruik, making it a split-decision.

Wild judging decisions have long been a hallmark of the UFC, less so in WSL events although it does happen.

And, so, to bite off the particular cancer tough decisions gotta be made. Mid-card, zero minutes notice, judge sacked.

Which leads to surfing, the WSL and Finals Day which runs real soon, September six through fourteen, whenever waves are good or good-ish, this is Southern California after all.

Should judges be ripped out of their seats mid-event if they’re not punching the right buttons, and not just ’cause they had a photo taken with a competitor? 

Elo was disappeared overnight, could not the same levers be pulled? 

And what would that mean for the Brazilian surf fan army? Neutralised or emboldened?

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Mark Occhilupo in The Occumentary.
Occ and a very cute, very young Brendan Margieson from The Occumentary.

Surf film god Jack McCoy on the miraculous longevity of Italian-Scot father-of-nine Mark Occhilupo!

Come grab a slice of a rapidly disappearing surf culture! It ain't gonna be around forever!

A couple of months back, the surfing film god Jack McCoy toured his seminal film The Occumentary, expertly remastered from VHS-friendly 4:3 aspect to big-screen 16:9, turning on a spigot of joy that had McCoy and the film’s subject, Mark Occhilupo, swapping anecdotes in front of hundreds of hollering fans.

Problem was, says McCoy, all those shows quickly sold out and he had to field dozens of calls, emails, messages, from all of us, me included, too slow to get online and buy a ticket before they were gone.

So, he figured, let’s do a few encore shows through August, starting on the Gold Coast, detouring slightly north to Uluwatu in Bali, before hitting Sydney, two shows, Margaret River, one show, Perth, one show and Fremantle, one show.

The GC and Bali are done, now it’s time for Sydney and West Oz.

If you didn’t know, it’s the twenty-fifth anniversary of the film’s release and twenty-five years since Occ, then thirty-three, became the oldest surfer ever to win a world title, although Kelly Slater would later claim that crown in 2011 when he won the thing aged thirty-nine.

Los Angeles born McCoy, who is seventy-six and who’s been in rough health with an unspecified illness the past few years, speaks with a ragged whisper, although his love for surf, and for his old pal Occ, is evident.

“This is Australia’s most loved surfer and his story, well, you know we all love seeing new talent come up and succeed and we sympathise with them when they crash, but we love a damn good comeback story. Everybody who comes out and does, that is still relevant today. And Occy’s surfing in the movie is mind-bending!”

I tell ol Jackie it’s a miracle Occ has nearly made it to sixty.

“It’s not so much a miracle as it is hard work,” says McCoy. “The best thing about this tour is that Occy has really matured into what I believe is one of surfing’s greatest ambassadors. He speaks really well. Everything comes from the heart. He loves sitting there at the end of the movie signing autographs, talking to kids and people bring their books and their posters and their underwear and whatever else they want for him to draw on. And when you think about longevity, at the end of the movie Gerry Lopez says, ‘He’s a real surfer through and through. He’ll still be surfing in another ten years if he plays his cards correctly.’”

Occy, as you know, has been largely ignored by the ravages of ageing and is a finely balanced combination of enthusiasm and confidence. 

Here, McCoy hoots.

“He’s done twenty five and he’s still surfing as good as ever! And he’s stoked on surfing! He surfs every day. He just wants to ride waves. And he’s got nine kids! When I call him up and ask him what he’s doing he says, ‘Taking the kids to school. Picking the kids up from school, taking ‘em down the beach, going putt-putt golfing!’”

Legends don’t stick around forever, of course.

Grab a ticket to one of the remaining shows and get a piece of rapidly disappearing surf culture before it’s gone forever and you’re stuck listening to hedge fund VALs and Inertia Bro’s comparing surf ponchos and beach carts.

Details here! 

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Kelly Slater (pictured) having fun in Fiji.
Kelly Slater (pictured) having fun in Fiji.

Surfline calls “fun waves” for upcoming Fiji Pro in now-patented “under promise, over deliver” form

"We’re monitoring the progress of a developing, complex storm to track across the Southern Ocean and Tasman Sea..."

There is one real event left on the 2024 World Surf League Championship Tour season and, my, how it all just flew by. It only seems like yesterday when the recently crowned Filipe Toledo declared he would take the year off, after a Pipeline boo, thereby opening the doors for a guaranteed different number 1, on the men’s side, come Finals Day.

As you well know, the best small wave surfer on the planet has his Lower Trestles wired, virtually unstoppable. After Toledo bowed out, it became anyone’s game though here we are, near the end, with John John Florence, Griffin Colapinto, Jack Robinson, Italo Ferreira and Ethan Ewing currently in the top 5, Yago Dora, Jordy Smith and Gabriel Medina just outside looking in.

Will the Fiji Pro shake the very timbers?

Surfline, in its now-patented “over promise, under deliver” form is claiming the ocean will be flat at the opening day hooter (Aug. 20) but…

We’re monitoring the progress of a developing, complex storm to track across the Southern Ocean and Tasman Sea this weekend, with merging lows en route to the Southwest Pacific. Over the past couple days, the models have come into much better agreement for this to be a decent setup for Fiji — nothing major, but certainly better than anything the region has seen lately, and probably the best of what we’ll see within the event window.

So, potential “fun waves” on Weds, Thurs and Fri of next week.

Some pertinent matchups:

Griff comes up against the ageless wonder, who happens to be 58-years-old, Kelly Slater in heat 3. Slater’s mastery of Cloudbreak needs to burnishing. Hawaii’s Barron Mamiya is also in the heat thus making a potential early event exit a possibility for the current world number 2.

John Florence, already a final 5 lock, has a walkthrough, facing local wildcard Tevita Gukilau and Japan’s Kanoa Igarashi.

Yago Dora, needing a result, faces Australia’s Liam O’Brien and Encinitas’ Jake Marshall in heat 6.

Gabe Medina, in a raging form this tour back half, will sink his teeth into Griff’s brother Crosby and Japan’s Connor O’Leary.

On the women’s side, heat 2 features surfer of the year Caitlin Simmers against phenom wildcard Sierra Kerr. Maybe the most interesting matchup of all, to be honest.

There we have it, anyhow, and are you excited or do you wish the whole season will wrap so we can get to next year’s Abu Dhabi Pro brought to you by the World Surf League in association with Greenpeace and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation?

Understandable if feeling the latter.

More as the story develops.

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