East Coast surfers “bummed” after washed up medical waste shutters beaches

"The stuff has to stop arriving on the beach and then we have to do a thorough cleanup..."

A general pall is hanging in the air from Virginia to Maryland. A grey despondence that has nothing to do with the upcoming presidential election in nearby Washington D.C. nor the Baltimore Orioles sudden slip after beginning the Major League Baseball season on a tear. No, the depression is emanating from the region’s surf community, men and women moping around town instead of out on the water, where they belong, due washed up medical waste which has shuttered all beaches.

The coastal bit, where sand meets surf, has been closed for days now with no sign on re-opening as hypodermic needles, colostomy bags and other hospital-esque detritus.

The gross business.

Hugh Hawthorne, the superintendent of Assateague Island National Seashore, has provided no hope, telling the local news, “The stuff has to stop arriving on the beach and then we have to do a thorough cleanup of the main swimming areas before we can reopen. Our oceanside beaches remain closed on the entire island as of right now,” said Hawthorne. It’s a lot of plastic debris but it includes a large component of medical waste.”

Bummed surfers are are being told “not to be picking up these things, especially the needles, without proper protective equipment” leaving them extremely idle, hands becoming devil’s playground etc.

Which leads to a broader question. When you are unable to surf, due injury, illness, medical waste on beach etc., how do you fill the days?

a) surf skating

b) scrolling your high school’s Facebook page

c) sitting in a dark room plotting

d) other