“Kendrick Lamar must’ve gotten surgery!”
The greatest surfer of all time, Kelly Slater, is again in the news after he inadvertently became involved in the UFCs latest controversy when the far right sports outfit incorrectly identified champion boxer Terence Crawford as Pulitzer Prize-winning rapper Kendrick Lamar.
As the camera panned across the celebs in the ringside seats at UFC Noche, held at the Sphere in Las Vegas, all in their ten-thousand dollar seats to watch a little Georgian wrestler maul a beloved American world champion, Crawford, seated next to Saudi boxing promotor Turki Alalsheikh, was labelled Kendrick Lamar.
A social media storm soon followed with Crawford admitting, “I just wasn’t taking any notice of it, and then I started seeing the pictures on my phone and everyone laughing.”
Crawford even claimed the mis-ID was deliberate.
“To be honest, I think it was intentionally done. Just for laughters, because how can you get us mixed up? But all in all, it was funny to me.”
UFC head Dana White responded with, “He did kind of look like Kendrick Lamar, though let’s not fuck around, he did kind of look like Kendrick Lamar!”
There are some striking similarities.
Both men are thirty-seven, both are short as hell, five six (Kendrick) and five eight, both have strong jawlines and both, typically, have short hair and facial hair. And, as noted on Twitter, “They both have a similar skin tone, which might be described as dark brown, reflecting their African American heritage.”
Kelly Slater, one row back, wasn’t as easily fooled, “Kendrick Lamar must’ve gotten surgery!” wrote the champ.
It was an eventful night for Slater.
Heady days. Like 1968 etc.
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What a shit thing to say regardless. Mind your friggin business Kelly. What response was he hoping to illicit?
finally someone with some real shit to say around here
on the first part of a journey I was looking at a river bed
(and wondering if there’d be a sandbar at its mouth)
R. Kelly’s daughter must be feeling better about be abandoned every day.
Has Ke11y actually been home at all since the kid with no name was born ?
It seems he’s just been gallivanting around the world as usual, and now spending $10,000 to watch the fights and (possibly) go gambling.
Maybe it really is true that Kalani told him to bail after all…
Saw him at Goat Hill golf course in Oceanside on Tuesday. Guy seems to be putting in extra effort to stay away from the fam dam.
“I been to the Desert, had a kid with no name. It felt good to be out of the rain. La la la la la, la la la la la ” America….
this website content sucks. i could guest post some listicles if you want thats
better than this crap
I had a good joke incubating, but after reading Eddie’s brilliant Haiku, realized it needs a post of it’s own and forgot my punch line laughing at his
Laughter truly is the best medicine.
a DMT IV-drip would be its only competitor I believe
pass the Lean!
Oh to have a world with no photos of Kelly in the foreground or background…alas
Oh I see. You think all bald white dudes look the same. I AM OFFENDED.
What about those of us who sport the monkey butt bald spot?
Or the reverse V
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… We know how that ends up
they do.
probs a good 85% are cops, no? at least that what it seems to my eyes.
particularly great look if you’re a cop in an occupied territory. I.E. you are a bald white who occupies black neighborhoods for 12 hour shifts.
Read James Baldwin everyone. It’ll blow minds!
Sean don’t worry you’re a legit motherfucker!
Wait, where is the Slater “family” home? And why the fuck is he in Vegas?!
More bumhole’s than fingers at this stage.
Xox
He calls the kid Twelve
But he hasn’t made it home
To sign the papers
So he just ducked out for bread and cigarettes then?
Xox
*organic bread and cigarettes thankyou very much.
You can actually get organic cigarettes and they are so good, there is no head spin, tobacco doesn’t do that it’s just all the shit pumped into it!
Xox
Slaterettes…
You have the American Spirit Dogsnuts
the rainbow colored pack ones
E P I cunt
I see you too have earned the “I have black friends” badge. We are special breed
It’s actually awesome. I indeed have black friends and support their plight! I bet Negs the cunt has heaps of brown friends and is empathetic to their raw end of the deal regarding colonialism.
Just to clarify I think Negs is epic. He just gets frustrated with all of our bullshit from time to time.
Xox
Negs is a hero in my eyes! Just don’t tell him I have black friends that are also ex-business partners. Oh and I forgot, I’m having dinner with one of them next week as they consider me one of their token crackers since we’re of a generation who can still make fun of our ethnicity.
i have black friends too they’re called my Dad’s family
Dong you need a badge!!
i have one under my right eye.
most assume it’s from a fight.
i tell a different story every time.
it’s a big beautiful reddish/purple birthmark. doc says, “I’ll remove that when you’re a teen and you care about what girls think”
me “no, no sir I probably won’t”