"Our community is increasingly concerned about the burglaries, car thefts and home invasions in Crescent Head. In some cases, weapons have been used to threaten residents in their own homes."
It’s pretty hard to do anything but rain praise on Shane Stedman, the octogenarian inventor of the sheepskin Ugg boot, a stallion whose spasming scrotum has hovered above innumerable liver-lipped snares, and who was recently honoured with an Order of Australia medal for services to surfing.
A few years back, just after he turned eighty, Shane had surgery to remove “balloons” in his chest. These growths squashed his lungs, reducing his ability to breathe by eighty-five percent.
Crescent Head, if you didn’t know, has a slow point break, which is popular with longboarders and Great White sharks, sometimes both at the same time, and miles of beachbreaks that can get pretty dang good.
It’s also become a hot spot for crime with the area’s Mayor writing a letter to the state’s Minister for Police and Counter-terrorism asking for a little help.
In part,
I write to bring to your attention the severe escalation of youth crime across the Kempsey Shire, and to seek your support for the implementation of 24-hour Police staffing in South West Rocks and Crescent Head communities to help mitigate the serious public safety situation that exists.
Current Escalation in Crime
Our community is growing increasingly concerned about the ongoing serious incidents of burglaries, car thefts and home invasions that have occurred across the Shire, particularly in South West Rocks and Crescent Head. In some cases, weapons have been used to threaten residents in their own homes and businesses and it is evident that a greater Police presence is urgently needed.
Shane Stedman is the latest victim in the crime wave. He was robbed at knife point at three am in his bed and his brand new Toyota Sahara, a 150k whip, was stolen and later found burned out.
On Facebook Shane wrote:

Impossible to recognise as my ‘top of the range’ Toyota Landcruiser Sahara 300 series, with a little over 10,000kms on the clock. At 3am a few weeks ago, I was rudely awakened with a torch in my face, and a demanding voice “where’s your money – where’s your money”. I quickly yelled “I don’t have any”, and by the time I got out of my recliner sleeping chair, the 3 intruders had grabbed Jenny’s handbag with phone, cards etc and stolen both of our cars.
Good thing I have a strong heart!!
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Newrybar, Crescent Head, fine detective work
Those recliner sleeping chairs take forever to return to the upright position
Forget needing more cops.
Sea Sea , the retro styled surf club hotel whatever , global destination for steazers and good life influencers opens in Cresned in just two weeks.
Well , maybe.
At least all the flash cars and money are going to be in one convenient location for the locals.
And for all the fucking ignorant comments on this site about guns , there would be more guns in and around Kempsey than most places in the world.
Every hunter / pig sticker and farmer has plenty. Not to mento every second dog is a mastiffxpitbullxgreatdane type pig killer.
The usual advertising on the main street on outdoor sandwich boards are for the latest ammo deals.
Gentrification leads to opportunity , just not in a predictable fashion.
Surfing is a sub subculture here , a fringe dweller.
Thanks for pointing out your ” top of the range” 300 series landcruiser …dick.
Timothy 6:9-11
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things.
he needs a pUgg
just to fuck up the idea of inventors…Blue mountain Ugg boots/1933…..Mortel ‘s sheepskin factory late 50’s……..just sayin”
Derek’s ugg boot story is like Chas saying surfing came from Peru. Despite evidence to the contrary it refuses to die.
Too bad Oz doesn’t have a DJT to shake that shit up
I know
They’ve been searching across their Country, and have found noone with that high of a Testosterone count.
Trump agenda: We will give all
American women free herringbone corsets whether they like it or not, and if they don’t wear them they will be spanked vigorously.
Then we will send wagon trains to tame the Wild West and rid America of godless heathens.
And don’t think we won’t find that underground railroad!
nothing says tough on crime like 34 federal indictments or whatever
Whatever = Guilty Verdicts
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the poor harvesting the rich?
Quack.
Criminals victimizing the unprepared.
haha…..desperate poor people helping themselves?
I only know Luke as Shanghai Sex, sorry
I’ve got a photo shoot tomorrow!
Xox
sted most underated pro ever. 5th at pipe best result ever and knocked up malia jones.
Crescent head not the sleepy little Town it used to be?
I think it has entered Derek’s Israel / trans / real estate story generation nexus
‘a stallion whose spasming scrotum has hovered above innumerable liver-lipped snares’
Lovely DR but what does it mean?
Also, what a guy. Invented ugg boots (an absolute life essential for anyone with Raynauds Syndrome) and fathered Luke Stedman. Wealth well earned.
Nah he patented the name
Maybe they just preferred the v8 200 series?
Ugg Lyfe.
Should have karate kicked the knife out of the bad boys’ hand, then delivered a stern lecture on the benefits of hard work.
Mona vale crime at an all time low.
Is that that Ray Guns hood?
If she keeps crushing it.
It may well be
Never heard the medical term having balloons in your chest. Must be a uniquely Australian malady.
Most balloons Australians keep are inside their intestines as they navigate customs following a trip to Colombia.