Guilia Manfrini killed by swordfish.
She was a ski and snowboard instructor turned “surf travel expert”, lived in Bali although she was a qualified lawyer, was an ISA Level 2 Surf Coach and Surf Apnea Survival Instructor, carried a perpetual tan and was rarely photographed without revealing rows of snowy teeth.

Glamorous Italian surfer Giulia Manfrini dead after being impaled by swordfish in Indonesia

"I love sitting in the lineup with a few friends, listening to the sounds of the jungle, and waiting for waves I know will be perfect."

An Italian surfer, Guilia Manfrini, who sure did seem to be living her best life, as they say, is dead after being impaled by a swordfish’s long sharp bill while surfing in the Ments in western Sumatra.

Giulia Manfrini, who was thirty-six, was riding a wave near Pulau Masokut island, a jumping off point to some of the Mentawais’ best waves, when the swordfish jumped out of the water and hit her in the chest, its bill driving five cm into her heart.

Despite first aid efforts of two other surfers, Massimo Ferro and Alexandre Ribas, and being rushed to a nearby medical clinic the woman couldn’t be saved.

If you want to judge by her Instagram account, Turin-born Giulia had been having a helluva time the past few years.

She was a ski and snowboard instructor turned “surf travel expert”, lived in Bali although she was a qualified lawyer, was an ISA Level 2 Surf Coach and Surf Apnea Survival Instructor, carried a perpetual tan and was rarely photographed without revealing rows of snowy teeth.

In a 2019 interview, when she was asked about the best country she’d ever visited Manfrini said,

“Well, every place has left something in my heart. Surfing wise, I love the wilderness of North Sumatra–the rainforest there is so primordial and gorgeous! I love sitting in the line up with few friends, listening only to the sounds of the jungle, and waiting for a set which I already know will be perfect and will deliver some barrels.”

Her favourite wave, she said, was Nias.

“I love that wave so much, I could surf it every day for hours. It’s such a technical wave, but still pretty safe since it breaks in deep water. It works with every tide, size and (always light) winds! You can get barrelled, cutback, turn! So playful!”

Guilia’s last Instagram post was back in April when she wrote “Out of office. Back in two weeks.” Her account has been flooded with over 1000 messages of condolences.

As for death by swordfish, well, it happens.

Randy Llanes, a Hawaii fisherman, died in 2015 after being impaled by a swordfish he had speared. This event was noted for its rarity and the fact that Llanes had predicted he might die in the ocean or while fishing.

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Surfing culturally appropriated in most disturbing way yet

Trigger warning.

It is not secret that our favorite pastime, this grand Sport of Kings, becomes regularly co-opted and used to describe something not even remotely related to wave sliding. “Surfing the web,” for example, which involves sitting indoors and typing URLs into a computer browser or “crowd surfing” which involves people being passed around a room via other people’s hands.

There is couch surfing, channel surfing, particle surfing and stand-up paddleboard surfing, just to name but a very few, though the most disturbing appropriation has just dropped.

Surfing the wave of heat pumps.

Heat pump water heater aficionado Joe Wachunas writing for CleanTechnica, the “the world’s #1 source for cleantech news and analysis” dropped the pastiche as part of his heat pump water heater tour across America. Currently visiting US Water Heating Solutions in Arlington, Illinois, the pixie-like thirty-something declared:

US Water Heating Solutions sees the opportunity inherent in the heat pump market disruption that is upon us. Heat pumps are growing rapidly for both space heating (substantially out pacing gas furnaces over the last five years) and water heating (increasing sales by 35% in 2023 alone). When I visited their headquarters, CEO Jim Eggert told me how his company views heat pump water heaters as an “innovative, technologically advanced product line” and wants to “grab a surfboard, jump in and catch this (heat pump) wave.” They see heat pumps as the way of the future and are excited by the business opportunity of specializing in this equipment early.

Oh.

I suppose the coinage is Jim Eggert’s fault not Joe Wachunas’.

Sorry, Joe, for calling you pixie-like.

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Noel and Liam Gallagher.
Big brother Noel says “surfing is for idiots” and that if anyone even thinks about skateboarding riding, well, “skateboarding is for fucking little idiots. Skateboarders and surfers can go fuck themselves. Surfers, by their very definition, are arseholes."

Fears for billion-dollar Oasis comeback tour as surfing smashes detente between Noel and Liam Gallagher

“Surfing is for idiots and surfers are arseholes," says Noel.

The brittle armistice between Manchester minstrels Liam and Noel Gallagher and with it Oasis’ billion-dollar comeback tour is in doubt after both men clashed over their respective love and hate of surfing.

Little brother Liam Gallagher, who is fifty, recently visited Ireland to go surfing with one bar keep subsequently reporting, “He had a full Irish with a Guinness head. He said he wanted to go out a do a spot of surfing but the conditions weren’t great so he came in for some breakfast.”

An earlier post had signalled Liam Gallagher’s love for the sport of kings.

“A new love and respect for surfers been watching some mad fuckers doing there thing and there ANIMALS as in HARDCORE LG x”

Big brother Noel, who is fifty-seven, disagrees and says “surfing is for idiots” and that if anyone even thinks about skateboarding riding, well, “skateboarding is for fucking little idiots. Skateboarders and surfers can go fuck themselves. Surfers, by their very definition, are arseholes.”

Noel then delivers his coup de grâce, “Australians.”

The infamous meltdowns between Liam and Noel Gallagher have become as legendary as the music of Oasis itself, marking a tumultuous journey through sibling rivalry, creative differences, and personal clashes that have defined much of their public persona.

One of the earliest meltdowns occurred during their gig at the Whiskey a Go Go in Los Angeles, when Liam threw a tantrum and hit Noel with a tambourine before storming off stage. This incident was a precursor to the ongoing friction that would eventually lead to the band’s disbandment.

Creative control was often at the heart of these disputes. Noel, the primary songwriter, felt undermined by Liam’s behavior, which he perceived as unprofessional. This was epitomized during the recording of “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” when Liam brought a crowd into the studio, interrupting Noel’s work, leading to physical confrontations.

The final straw that led to Oasis’s dissolution in 2009 was an altercation during a tour where Liam, hungover as hell, led to Noel’s exit from the band.

Sadly, both men are shit without the other.

In another post on X Liam wrote:

“(Noel) split the band up put lots of people out of jobs ruined many folks lives and he wants me to do the calling he is fucking DELUSIONAL he can call me though id love to hear from him it’s been to long.”

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Noah Beschen (left) the new Zoltan Torkos (right)?
Noah Beschen (left) the new Zoltan Torkos (right)?

Board slide at Waco tank pitches surf world into bitter polarization!

The ghost of Zoltan Torkos is haunting.

The surf world has entered a new phase of unrest after many years of relative calm. Two days ago, Shane’s boy Noah Beschen, I think Mason Ho and likely others traveled deep to the heart of Texas in order to participate in what I hear was a Swatch Nines event. All seemed fine and well until, that is, a large piece of plywood with coping was lowered just above the surface of the waters allowing the aforementioned to slide it as if they were at a skate park.

 

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A post shared by Noah Beschen (@noahbeschen)

Wild polarization immediately taking hold and nearing dreaded Zoltan Torkos levels.

But you certainly recall almost fifteen years ago when the Santa Cruz magician decided to answer Volcom’s siren call and kickflip a surfboard?

Yikes.

There were those who claimed it the very peak of progression and then those who claimed it was a heretical. Surf and skate so close yet so far. Those, like Chris Cote who loves the marriage, and those, like probably Maurice Cole, who don’t.

Major infighting.

David Lee Scales and I discussed today, anyhow, but found enough time to consider the musical importance of Die Antwoord and how ice in urinals might just be peak fancy. You would be doing yourself a disservice in not listening.

Don’t be a little whiny baby.

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Ryan James Wedding (pictured) wanted.
Ryan James Wedding (pictured) wanted.

Surfers lose last shred of “bad boy cred” after Olympic snowboarder fingered as mastermind behind cocaine ring

"He chose to become a major drug trafficker, and he chose to become a killer."

There was once a time when surfing, and its surfers, were outlaws. Living on the fringes of society, man. Rejecting buttoned-up culture and “jobs” and “making a decent living” or an “honest one.” Surfers did whatever they could to keep living the derelict dream which often included trafficking cocaine and sometimes abusing it or haven’t you seen the surf masterpiece Sea of Darkness?

In any case, time moved on, surfing itself became “monetized” and Erik Logan. Still, sometimes after the sun sets, surfers gather in dusky beach-adjacent parking lots, drink beer straight out of the can and reminisce about the naughty noughties and being bad boys.

Well, all that is officially lost with the revelation that a Canadian Olympic snowboarder has been running a murderous cocaine trafficking ring that stretched all through the Americas. The FBI declared it is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of one Ryan James Wedding who, they say, is living in Mexico.

Wedding, 43, popped on the extreme scene by competing for the maple leaf at the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympiad where he finished 24th in parallel giant slalom. From there, it was straight on to the delinquent life. Authorities say he organized long-haul semi-trucks to ferry the product from Colombia up to the Great White North. As things happen with cartels and whatnots, Wedding is also being charged with murder.

In speaking about the case, Martin Estrada, U.S. attorney in Los Angeles, stated, “He chose to become a major drug trafficker, and he chose to become a killer.”

Erik Logan, in the meantime, chose to become a #Lifeforcepartner.

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