Kelly Slater acolyte Lewis Hamilton drawn into Diddy imbroglio after deleting post describing rapper as “my man Puff”

"To stand here today as brothers is an honour and a privilege.”

Over the past few years, FI ace and surfer Lewis Hamilton has become quite the regular on these pages.

When he was embroiled in a racism row with former FI champ Nelson Piquet after the latter described the former using an epithet outlawed to whites Lew fled the noise and went surfing in Malibu. 

With trademark sun-kissed braids pulled into a sensible bun, Hamilton was subsequently filmed polishing off a wave with a cool “what-me-worry” style.

Lewis Hamilton’s surf bona fides have long been documented. A regular at the WSL’s Surf Ranch, he has ridden the Melbourne tank and in 2021 posted a moving tribute to Kelly Slater on his Instagram account.

“He probably doesn’t know this but Kelly changed my life for the better. I want you all to know how great of a human being this man is. I am forever grateful for the time you have given me, for the insight and your passion for the waves. Thank you @kellyslater! Can’t wait until we can hit the waves again (praying hands emoji).”

And, who can forget when Lewis Hamilton nearly died at “25-foot” Pipeline following a dare from Slater. 

“This thing was massive, a huge tunnel, and I could see Kelly coming right down it in front of me,” he continues. “And I just had to make sure I didn’t get sucked in. So I dived down and grabbed the reef and prayed. I could hear the thing land behind me, like a bomb going off. My board got ripped off and snapped in half. I was very close to the end. But that excites me for some reason.”

Earlier today, Lewis Hamilton was again in the news, this time after deleting a tweet where he described the rapper Sean “Diddy” Combs as “brother”. 

The post, shared in 2018, read: “I grew up watching and listening to my man Puff. To stand here today as brothers is an honour and a privilege. I appreciate you bro for all you do, for being a GOAT and for always showing love. God bless.”

Sean "Diddy" Combs and Lewis Hamilton.
Sean “Diddy” Combs and Lewis Hamilton, brothers in white in happier times.

Diddy in the news, as you know, after being arrested on sex trafficking and racketeering charges. Back in March Diddy’s joint got raided by the FBI and agents confiscated AR-15s and one thousand bottles of baby oil and other unspecified lubricants.

Dry ass need juice, no matter how rich you is.

Anyway, the charges detail his alleged leadership of a criminal enterprise that engaged in activities including sex trafficking, forced labor, kidnapping, arson, bribery, and obstruction of justice. Specifically, Combs is accused of orchestrating drug-fueled events termed “Freak Offs,” where victims and sex workers were coerced into sexual activities, often under threats or use of firearms. 

The indictment also highlights his misuse of his business empire’s resources to facilitate these crimes, including arranging travel, accommodations, and the provision of drugs and cash for these events. Moreover, there are allegations of physical and sexual abuse, with law enforcement seizing weapons during raids on his properties, including AR-15s with defaced serial numbers. These charges not only paint a picture of Combs using his influence to exploit individuals sexually but also to maintain control through intimidation and corruption, thereby allegedly running a sophisticated operation that crossed into numerous illegal activities.

Kelly Slater, meanwhile, is making organic clothing and enjoying exhibition surfing events in France.

Who’s the better pal?

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San Diego surfers in wild-eyed panic after first ever locally acquired case of dengue fever surfaces!

"Vector Control are working closely to respond quickly to prevent mosquitoes from spreading the illness in this area."

Now, any surfer worth her salt is very familiar with dengue fever. The mosquito-borne virus is extremely common in those exotic tropical locales that feature desirable waves and the aforementioned adventuring wave sliders are tangentially aware of the aches and pains, high fever and rash associated with the nasty little bug. Even the surfer who prefers cold waters and cold weathers is at least aware of dengue as it was first fingered being the cause of Andy Irons’ untimely death.

Well, San Diego surfers are currently in a state of wide-eyed panic as the first-ever locally acquired dengue case has just been reported in an area more known for India Pale Ales and fussy street tacos.

The county is reporting that a resident of Escondido became bitten by a mosquito and developed the dengue while not traveling to an exotic tropical locale.

Dr. Ankita Kadakia, County interim public health officer, attempted to tamp down fear by declaring, “While the risk of widespread transmission of dengue remains low in San Diego County, County Public Health and Vector Control are working closely to respond quickly to prevent mosquitoes from spreading the illness in this area.”

He then began spraying Escondido residents’ houses with toxic chemicals in order to kill the li’l biters for it is those pesky ankle swarmers that are most responsible for spreading the disease.

While there have not been waves in San Diego for months, now, any surfer who wishes to visit is being encouraged to go to Lower Trestles instead.

Over to you, now. What is the most exotic disease you’ve ever acquired? On a trip to Middle East, many years ago, I was graced with amoebic dysentery and forced to spend a week in a Jordanian hospital on heavy IV.

Those were the days.

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Kelly Slater slashes $3.5 mill from listing price of redundant beachfront compound on Hawaii’s North Shore

Price of Slater joint on the North Shore's best street gets a wild haircut!

After six months languishing on the market for twenty-mill, Kelly Slater has slashed the list price of his sprawling Balinese-style beachfront compound on gorgeous Papailoa Road, the North Shore’s most coveted street, by almost twenty percent.

The eleven-time world champion who recently came out of retirement to compete in an exhibition event in France bought the six-bedroom, 7.5-bathroom house for a little under eight mill in 2017  and, earlier this year, perhaps to buy his new unnamed baby pretty things, put it on the market for twenty mill.

Despite the sprawling beachfront compounds myriad delights, the joint has failed to generate any serious interest hence the wild 17.5% discount. 

Kelly Slater house North Shore Oahu
The surprisingly modest street frontage at Kelly Slater’s Lani’s house.
Kelly Slater North Shore house
About as beachfront as it gets at Kelly Slater’s Lani’s house.
Kelly Slater house North Shore Oahu
Kelly Slater’s Lani’s house.
Kelly Slater North Shore house
Located on the most coveted street on the North Shore of Oahu, this exclusive beachfront estate is the premier offering in Haleiwa, Hawai’i. Set on an oceanfront lot traversing over a half acre, this compound encompasses elegant living while embracing the barefoot luxury lifestyle of the North Shore.

An examination of its price history on Zillow reveals the joint at 61-785 Papailoa Rd, Haleiwa, has pinballed in price ever since one shrewd buyer picked it up for just over a mill in 1998.

That buyer paid $143 for every square foot; at sixteen-and-a-half-mill it’s over two gees a square foot.

Kelly Slater listed it for rent in 2018 for 80k a month, dropped it to 72k in 2019, 59k in 2019 before sitting on 45k in 2020.

No word if anyone actually took up the rental, even at the cut-price rate of 10k a week.

If you didn’t know, Laniakea is a little way off the super highway traffic of Pipeline, Rockies and Sunset. It’s back on the western side of Waimea Bay and is a raw righthand point break that will reward the intrepid surfer who ain’t afraid to brave the paddle that is also home to the less-than-friendly Hawaiian tiger shark. If you like lefts, just around the headland is a joint called Jockos.

It’s interesting to note the previous owner tried to sell it for twenty-two mill almost ten years ago and settled on the almost-eight mill Kelly Slater paid.

Arrange an inspection here. 

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Palm Springs Surf Club.
Palm Springs Surf Club.

Hot Rumor: Palm Springs emerges as surprise frontrunner as surf venue for ’28 Los Angeles Olympics!

Huntington Beach, allegedly, out.

The Olympics and its pomp and its circumstance is on its way to Los Angeles after a triumphant stand in Paris. I was there, if you recall, nibbling foie gras under that magnificent Tour Eiffel, watching various games of handball and Seine swimming though I did not get to witness the surfing bit as that was contested halfway around the world at The End of the Road. By all accounts, it was a dazzling show, though, with Teahupo’o flashing its glory for two days. Caroline Marks bringing home gold for the women. Kauli Vaast for the Frenchmen.

All but memories, now, with attention fully on the City of Angeles and the biggest question of all. Where will Olympic surfers surf?

Fernando Aguerre, chief of the International Surfing Association which acts as gatekeeper to the big show, has long declared that he will not have our heroes striving for medals in a wave tank, insisting it must be in the ocean. Thus, Huntington Beach and Lower Trestles emerged as early frontrunners. A hot hot rumor has floated right into my ear from an extremely well-placed source. It claims that Huntington has been dropped from consideration, not surprising do Surf City’s political radicalization, leaving Trestles and a stunning other potential frontrunner.

Palm Springs.

The desert town some 100 miles east of LA was mostly famous for its lush golf courses and Liberace soirees but is now famous for its Palm Springs Surf Club churning out gorgeous Tom Lochtefeld art. It had some technical issues, upon opening, and was shuttered for a time but is back now and cranking. Reports from those who have sampled nothing but ultra-positive.

The rumor, anyhow, suggests that powerful television interests could steamroll Aguerre over the desire to have surfing scheduled and not left to the whims of nature.

So?

Would you like to see Palm Springs crown ’28’s baubles or have you not had enough of Lowers yet?

More as the story develops.

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Guy Pearce Momento

Bombshell claim vintage surf photos have the ability to “implant false memories”

"So powerful have the Witzig photographs become in surfing mythology, they have created false memories."

The Australian surf photographer John Witzig, founder of Tracks magazine and responsible for some of the surfing lifestyle’s most enduring images, has made the bombshell claim that surf photos have the ability to implant false memories in people who weren’t there. 

If you’ve been around surf a while you’ll know Witzig’s most famous shots.

There’s a shirtless Bob McTavish standing in front of an FX Holden in 1966 examining an empty Noosa lineup (Witzig says he was pressured, even then, not to take the photo, “There were various people who didn’t want photographs taken of Noosa,”); Country Soul, new parents with their baby in a groovy kitchen picked high with homegrown vegetables, a photo that came to symbolise the surfer counter culture movement and its back-to-mother-earth ethos; a water shot Mark Richards getting rad at Haleiwa in 1976.

Bob McTavish at Noosa
Bob McTavish, Noosa, 1966. Locals tried to stop John Witzig from grabbing his iconic image.
Country Soul John Witzig
Country Soul by the great John Witzig

So good they fry your mind? Well, yeah, sorta.

Johnny Witzig, eighty now, made the claim his photos could implant memories in an interview with a Sydney daily’s sports writer on the back of his latest exhibition, which displays twenty four of his most iconic images. 

So powerful have the Witzig photographs become in surfing mythology, they have created false memories. “There’s a lot of people who have told me they were there, or they could remember it, when they were not,” he says.

Ain’t as crazy as it sounds.

Studies have demonstrated that it’s possible to implant false memories through various methods, including showing people doctored or AI-edited photos. For instance, research has shown that participants could be led to believe they experienced events that were actually not real, like being lost in a mall or participating in events like a hot air balloon ride, through suggestive techniques which often involve visual cues like photographs.

Here’s a wild study about it. 

As for real life, surf, you and me, you ever believed you were somewhere you weren’t and how did you find out?

I defs saw the Tom Carroll snap at Pipe; Kelly and Rob high-five, several world champs pouring so much heat up their beaks I thought their precious hearts would explode.

Some other stuff not so sure in hindsight.

Click here if you’re in Sydney and you want to check out Johnny’s mind-altering shots in real life. 

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