Kelly Slater slashes $3.5 mill from listing price of redundant beachfront compound on Hawaii’s North Shore

Price of Slater joint on the North Shore's best street gets a wild haircut!

After six months languishing on the market for twenty-mill, Kelly Slater has slashed the list price of his sprawling Balinese-style beachfront compound on gorgeous Papailoa Road, the North Shore’s most coveted street, by almost twenty percent.

The eleven-time world champion who recently came out of retirement to compete in an exhibition event in France bought the six-bedroom, 7.5-bathroom house for a little under eight mill in 2017  and, earlier this year, perhaps to buy his new unnamed baby pretty things, put it on the market for twenty mill.

Despite the sprawling beachfront compounds myriad delights, the joint has failed to generate any serious interest hence the wild 17.5% discount. 

Kelly Slater house North Shore Oahu
The surprisingly modest street frontage at Kelly Slater’s Lani’s house.
Kelly Slater North Shore house
About as beachfront as it gets at Kelly Slater’s Lani’s house.
Kelly Slater house North Shore Oahu
Kelly Slater’s Lani’s house.
Kelly Slater North Shore house
Located on the most coveted street on the North Shore of Oahu, this exclusive beachfront estate is the premier offering in Haleiwa, Hawai’i. Set on an oceanfront lot traversing over a half acre, this compound encompasses elegant living while embracing the barefoot luxury lifestyle of the North Shore.

An examination of its price history on Zillow reveals the joint at 61-785 Papailoa Rd, Haleiwa, has pinballed in price ever since one shrewd buyer picked it up for just over a mill in 1998.

That buyer paid $143 for every square foot; at sixteen-and-a-half-mill it’s over two gees a square foot.

Kelly Slater listed it for rent in 2018 for 80k a month, dropped it to 72k in 2019, 59k in 2019 before sitting on 45k in 2020.

No word if anyone actually took up the rental, even at the cut-price rate of 10k a week.

If you didn’t know, Laniakea is a little way off the super highway traffic of Pipeline, Rockies and Sunset. It’s back on the western side of Waimea Bay and is a raw righthand point break that will reward the intrepid surfer who ain’t afraid to brave the paddle that is also home to the less-than-friendly Hawaiian tiger shark. If you like lefts, just around the headland is a joint called Jockos.

It’s interesting to note the previous owner tried to sell it for twenty-two mill almost ten years ago and settled on the almost-eight mill Kelly Slater paid.

Arrange an inspection here. 

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Palm Springs Surf Club.
Palm Springs Surf Club.

Hot Rumor: Palm Springs emerges as surprise frontrunner as surf venue for ’28 Los Angeles Olympics!

Huntington Beach, allegedly, out.

The Olympics and its pomp and its circumstance is on its way to Los Angeles after a triumphant stand in Paris. I was there, if you recall, nibbling foie gras under that magnificent Tour Eiffel, watching various games of handball and Seine swimming though I did not get to witness the surfing bit as that was contested halfway around the world at The End of the Road. By all accounts, it was a dazzling show, though, with Teahupo’o flashing its glory for two days. Caroline Marks bringing home gold for the women. Kauli Vaast for the Frenchmen.

All but memories, now, with attention fully on the City of Angeles and the biggest question of all. Where will Olympic surfers surf?

Fernando Aguerre, chief of the International Surfing Association which acts as gatekeeper to the big show, has long declared that he will not have our heroes striving for medals in a wave tank, insisting it must be in the ocean. Thus, Huntington Beach and Lower Trestles emerged as early frontrunners. A hot hot rumor has floated right into my ear from an extremely well-placed source. It claims that Huntington has been dropped from consideration, not surprising do Surf City’s political radicalization, leaving Trestles and a stunning other potential frontrunner.

Palm Springs.

The desert town some 100 miles east of LA was mostly famous for its lush golf courses and Liberace soirees but is now famous for its Palm Springs Surf Club churning out gorgeous Tom Lochtefeld art. It had some technical issues, upon opening, and was shuttered for a time but is back now and cranking. Reports from those who have sampled nothing but ultra-positive.

The rumor, anyhow, suggests that powerful television interests could steamroll Aguerre over the desire to have surfing scheduled and not left to the whims of nature.

So?

Would you like to see Palm Springs crown ’28’s baubles or have you not had enough of Lowers yet?

More as the story develops.

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Guy Pearce Momento

Bombshell claim vintage surf photos have the ability to “implant false memories”

"So powerful have the Witzig photographs become in surfing mythology, they have created false memories."

The Australian surf photographer John Witzig, founder of Tracks magazine and responsible for some of the surfing lifestyle’s most enduring images, has made the bombshell claim that surf photos have the ability to implant false memories in people who weren’t there. 

If you’ve been around surf a while you’ll know Witzig’s most famous shots.

There’s a shirtless Bob McTavish standing in front of an FX Holden in 1966 examining an empty Noosa lineup (Witzig says he was pressured, even then, not to take the photo, “There were various people who didn’t want photographs taken of Noosa,”); Country Soul, new parents with their baby in a groovy kitchen picked high with homegrown vegetables, a photo that came to symbolise the surfer counter culture movement and its back-to-mother-earth ethos; a water shot Mark Richards getting rad at Haleiwa in 1976.

Bob McTavish at Noosa
Bob McTavish, Noosa, 1966. Locals tried to stop John Witzig from grabbing his iconic image.
Country Soul John Witzig
Country Soul by the great John Witzig

So good they fry your mind? Well, yeah, sorta.

Johnny Witzig, eighty now, made the claim his photos could implant memories in an interview with a Sydney daily’s sports writer on the back of his latest exhibition, which displays twenty four of his most iconic images. 

So powerful have the Witzig photographs become in surfing mythology, they have created false memories. “There’s a lot of people who have told me they were there, or they could remember it, when they were not,” he says.

Ain’t as crazy as it sounds.

Studies have demonstrated that it’s possible to implant false memories through various methods, including showing people doctored or AI-edited photos. For instance, research has shown that participants could be led to believe they experienced events that were actually not real, like being lost in a mall or participating in events like a hot air balloon ride, through suggestive techniques which often involve visual cues like photographs.

Here’s a wild study about it. 

As for real life, surf, you and me, you ever believed you were somewhere you weren’t and how did you find out?

I defs saw the Tom Carroll snap at Pipe; Kelly and Rob high-five, several world champs pouring so much heat up their beaks I thought their precious hearts would explode.

Some other stuff not so sure in hindsight.

Click here if you’re in Sydney and you want to check out Johnny’s mind-altering shots in real life. 

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Beginner and pro (Pictured) enjoying Mavericks. Photo: Chasing Mavericks
Beginner and pro (Pictured) enjoying Mavericks. Photo: Chasing Mavericks

Sports Illustrated lists Mavericks on its highly-anticipated “11 Ultimate Surf Spots for Beginners and Pros Alike” guide

"Known for their massive waves that can get as high as 60-feet. This is a bucket-list location for most surfers."

If there is one thing sports fans crave more than touchdowns or home runs, it is the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. The annual release features women in bikinis on beaches though those beaches change from year to year. Sometimes, say, Mexico is featured. Other times, the Bahamas are front and center. Very sexy but only marginally sexier than Sports Illustrated’s somewhat annual “The Ultimate Surf Spots for Beginners and Pros Alike” list.

“These are the 11 best locations for surfing in the United States with options that cater to both beginners and experienced riders,” the feature begins, sports fans salivating at home, hiding with computers in closets.

This year, we have Oahu’s North Shore, a fine surf spot and deserving of the top slot, followed by Malibu (California), South Padre Island (Texas), Montauk (New York), Outer Banks (North Carolina), Huntington Beach (California), Cocoa Beach (Florida), Yakutat (Alaska), Narragansett (Rhode Island), Otter Rock (Oregon) and Mavericks (California).

The giant surf spot just south of San Francisco has claimed the life of many heroes though, per the suggestion, beginners are invited to die as well.

“Known for their massive waves that can get as high as 60-feet,” author and guide Dylan Sanders writes. “This is a bucket-list location for most surfers.”

Sanders, who looks like this…

…also explained, “There was a movie made about them and the journey to being able to surf them.”

Over to you, now. As very likely somewhere between “beginner” and “pro” do you dream of Mavericks or is it purely an either/or wave?

Zuck would go.

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DJ Fisher named in UK deputy PM Angela Rayner’s wild Ibiza all-nighter controversy roiling Brit politics

"Utterly staggering. They heartlessly take away the WFA from pensioners while they live the high-life."

The Australian pro surfer turned DJ Fisher has become embroiled in the latest controversy to engulf the new UK government when he was filmed dancing with the country’s deputy PM Angela Rayner during one of his Ibiza shows.

The famously randy DJ Fisher, who has admitted wanting to sex Chris Hemsworth (“Imagine slapping that fucking arse!”), was last seen on the pages two months ago when it was revealed he was set to demolish a 1950s beach shack to build a nine-storey tower, thrilling house-hunters with three-million dollar plus budgets.

Clearly a man who is more than the sum of his outrageous sexual ambits and bank of techno anthems.

DJ Fisher is a longtime pal of the UK’s deputy PM, Angela Rayner, a forty-four “ginger bombshell”, who has come under scrutiny for accepting “£836 of hospitality” for a visit to the Fisher DJ booth and paid for by DJ Fisher’s agent Ayita LLC.

In the video below, Angela Rayner dances to the DJ Fisher mix of the old Goyte/Kimbra number, Somebody That I Used To Know. At one point, DJ Fisher even runs his hands down Rayner’s famous ginger locks.

The new UK government, led by the ghastly Keir Starmer, is getting a helluva lotta heat for what’s been termed the “freebie allegations.”

These allegations revolve around gifts, hospitality, and donations received by prominent Labour figures. Keir Starmer faced criticism for not declaring £5,000 worth of clothes for his wife, donated by Labour peer Waheed Alli, among other benefits like football match tickets and hospitality, amounting to over £100,000 in value.

Angela Rayner’s acceptance of the £836 Ibiza show and a New York holiday organized by another Labour peer have added fuel to the controversy.

This situation has sparked a debate on the integrity of political figures accepting gifts, especially from wealthy donors, which could potentially influence policy or perception of public service.

Critics argue this undermines the Labour Party’s pledge to clean up politics, pointing out the irony given Starmer’s wild criticisms of Conservative leaders for similar reasons.

 

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