Beginner and pro (Pictured) enjoying Mavericks. Photo: Chasing Mavericks
Beginner and pro (Pictured) enjoying Mavericks. Photo: Chasing Mavericks

Sports Illustrated lists Mavericks on its highly-anticipated “11 Ultimate Surf Spots for Beginners and Pros Alike” guide

"Known for their massive waves that can get as high as 60-feet. This is a bucket-list location for most surfers."

If there is one thing sports fans crave more than touchdowns or home runs, it is the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. The annual release features women in bikinis on beaches though those beaches change from year to year. Sometimes, say, Mexico is featured. Other times, the Bahamas are front and center. Very sexy but only marginally sexier than Sports Illustrated’s somewhat annual “The Ultimate Surf Spots for Beginners and Pros Alike” list.

“These are the 11 best locations for surfing in the United States with options that cater to both beginners and experienced riders,” the feature begins, sports fans salivating at home, hiding with computers in closets.

This year, we have Oahu’s North Shore, a fine surf spot and deserving of the top slot, followed by Malibu (California), South Padre Island (Texas), Montauk (New York), Outer Banks (North Carolina), Huntington Beach (California), Cocoa Beach (Florida), Yakutat (Alaska), Narragansett (Rhode Island), Otter Rock (Oregon) and Mavericks (California).

The giant surf spot just south of San Francisco has claimed the life of many heroes though, per the suggestion, beginners are invited to die as well.

“Known for their massive waves that can get as high as 60-feet,” author and guide Dylan Sanders writes. “This is a bucket-list location for most surfers.”

Sanders, who looks like this…

…also explained, “There was a movie made about them and the journey to being able to surf them.”

Over to you, now. As very likely somewhere between “beginner” and “pro” do you dream of Mavericks or is it purely an either/or wave?

Zuck would go.

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DJ Fisher named in UK deputy PM Angela Rayner’s wild Ibiza all-nighter controversy roiling Brit politics

"Utterly staggering. They heartlessly take away the WFA from pensioners while they live the high-life."

The Australian pro surfer turned DJ Fisher has become embroiled in the latest controversy to engulf the new UK government when he was filmed dancing with the country’s deputy PM Angela Rayner during one of his Ibiza shows.

The famously randy DJ Fisher, who has admitted wanting to sex Chris Hemsworth (“Imagine slapping that fucking arse!”), was last seen on the pages two months ago when it was revealed he was set to demolish a 1950s beach shack to build a nine-storey tower, thrilling house-hunters with three-million dollar plus budgets.

Clearly a man who is more than the sum of his outrageous sexual ambits and bank of techno anthems.

DJ Fisher is a longtime pal of the UK’s deputy PM, Angela Rayner, a forty-four “ginger bombshell”, who has come under scrutiny for accepting “£836 of hospitality” for a visit to the Fisher DJ booth and paid for by DJ Fisher’s agent Ayita LLC.

In the video below, Angela Rayner dances to the DJ Fisher mix of the old Goyte/Kimbra number, Somebody That I Used To Know. At one point, DJ Fisher even runs his hands down Rayner’s famous ginger locks.

The new UK government, led by the ghastly Keir Starmer, is getting a helluva lotta heat for what’s been termed the “freebie allegations.”

These allegations revolve around gifts, hospitality, and donations received by prominent Labour figures. Keir Starmer faced criticism for not declaring £5,000 worth of clothes for his wife, donated by Labour peer Waheed Alli, among other benefits like football match tickets and hospitality, amounting to over £100,000 in value.

Angela Rayner’s acceptance of the £836 Ibiza show and a New York holiday organized by another Labour peer have added fuel to the controversy.

This situation has sparked a debate on the integrity of political figures accepting gifts, especially from wealthy donors, which could potentially influence policy or perception of public service.

Critics argue this undermines the Labour Party’s pledge to clean up politics, pointing out the irony given Starmer’s wild criticisms of Conservative leaders for similar reasons.

 

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Rainbow Surf Retreats, surf camps for gays!
Rainbow Surf Retreats, surf camps for gays!

Queer-friendly Rainbow Surf Retreats vow to “take the testosterone out of the lineup!”

“You can high five and hug, and that’s so often missing from heterosexual male spaces.”

Since he could remember, Steven Redant, co-founder of Rainbow Surf Retreats, “gay surf retreats all over the world”, was always told to talk quietly in his native Belgium. So he did what any proper soprano would do, he moved to Spain, a place where even the librarians bellow. And Stephen is an international DJ, so he also needed an airport with a global hub.

But the Yellow Brick intercontinental DJ roads outta Barcelona are paved with a perfect mixture of fairy dust, Peruvian Marching powder and Scooby Snax.

And Steven dipped in the vices. His DJ career was extremely successful. But his personal life suffered.

“I was going through a divorce. I had some problems with substances and I wasn’t behaving well.”

Steven’s agent suggest he spend some time with him in Florianopolis Brazil. There, surfing took him immediately.

“I’m pretty sure if I didn’t have surfing, I would have overdosed by now.”

Steven wanted to open a surf house. A place where other people needed healing through surfing, but he felt it was a lil impersonal, so he waited.

Rich Overgaard is the second half of Rainbow Surf Retreats. Rich came home from a surf trip to Mexico and was laid up in bed due an illness. He was bored and asked himself,

“Where are all the queer surfers?”‘

So he created the @surfergays Instagram account. He started searching for people and sending them little messages. Like, “Hey, can I feature you?”

That’s how he and Steven first connected.

Rich tells Butter magazine,

“So many of us come from challenges and struggles in youth and then learn to emerge into a place of joy. In the surf space too, that joy just comes through when it’s a bunch of queer folks. There’s more solidarity, there’s more fun, there’s more laughter while doing this [objectively] challenging thing. You don’t feel like you have to code switch. You can high five and hug, and that’s so often missing from heterosexual male spaces.”

Rainbow Surf Retreats’ main objective is to create a place where queer folk can feel free to be themselves and to build a camaraderie with each other through surfing and travel.

Steven posts messages on the Rainbow Surf Retreats Insta page.

His look, approach and voice are soothing, authentic and inviting. Made me wanna speak to him and get a lil more of the story on a personal level.

Turns out his phone voice is just as candy-apple as his Insta posts. We spoke over the phone while he was at his home base in the lunar landscapes of the Canary Islands while I was in an an open concept outside dungeon in Jersey City.

I ask for a lil bio.

“It’s amazing how successful you can be in your professional life, and I was extremely successful as a DJ, but how miserable you can be in your personal life at the same time. My agent knew something bad was going to happen to me. He took me to Brazil to get away. I wont say ‘surfing saved my life’ thats a little cliche. but i can tell you this: without surfing i would have overdosed by now.…”

Tell me a lil about Rainbow Retreats.

“I quickly realized the healing power of surf. I wanted to help other people get through similar dark times that I experienced with surfing as a tool. We booked our first retreat to Panama. It took less than a week to fill all 15 spots. For some, it was their first time surfing. And this was something I HAD to do. Because I lived it. And I was close to death. And I needed, not wanted, to help people.”

Tell me about the palling around?

“We keep it small, about 15 people. It’s about a feeling of belonging, not fitting in. We had a guy come with us that said ‘I cant wait to hook up with all these surfer guys.’ Ya know, when you’re on Tinder or Grinder, you’re looking for differences to pick out. On the retreat, you’re looking for the same thing. By the end of the trip, this guy could care less about hook-ups.

“He was just happy to be there with us. Line-ups in the straight world, they are so competative, people fighting for inside position and a lot of aggression. All we do is cheer each other on.”/

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Listen: Biggest conundrum haunting surf world finally solved!

Not sandals.

I don’t wear them though you probably do. Flip flops, flaps, slaps, sandals, thongs, jandals, plakkies, slops, toe-splitters, honey-bunnies, li’l foot friends, deep south jonks. Each and every nomenclature juvenile or stupid, like the footwear itself, unless one lives on the islands, is Hawaiian, and is allowed to call them “slippahs” which is cool and ok.

The footwear choice of surfers since time immemorial circa ancient Egypt. Those bros wore them, Japanese Samurai wore them, Brazilians wear them as do you.

But, again, each descriptor a foolish and silly word.

How can a grown man step outside the house in thongs?

In toe-tanners?

He cannot, nor can a grown woman, but thankfully this issue has finally risen to a head.

David Lee Scales and I get together, now twice weekly, for chats and today’s might be the most important of all. I, if you somehow forgot, have my master’s degree in Applied Linguistics.

Jongs?

No.

Listen to the proper locution for those non-island born/bred here.

And enjoy.

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Surfers (insert) attempt to console one another after 36-year-old quarterback Kirk Cousins becomes face of cool.
Surfers (insert) attempt to console one another after 36-year-old quarterback Kirk Cousins becomes face of cool.

“Desert of cool” stretches on for beleaguered surfers after 36-year-old quarterback Kirk Cousins goes swag surfin

"Now THAT'S surfing!"

There was a time, and not terribly long ago, when surfers sat upon the apex of Mt. Cool. Oakley Razorblades around eyes, Webz on hands, Gotcha jams covering thighs and Flojo sandals on toes. Everyone wanting to be them, nobody able to imitate. Sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads all clamoring for some of that surfer spice. Surfers starred as desirable studs and stud-ettes in top rated sitcoms, ruled the sand and the sea.

A seemingly infinite Hot Summer Night.

Alas, nothing is forever and surfers fell hard from the perch into the desert where pickleballers once roamed and there they have been ever since.

Hope springs that someday a surfer will come along who’s rad, once again, but until then, we are all forced to watch a 36-year-old quarterback steal the shine once ours by going Swag Surfin. The song, released in 2009, has become an anthem for many professional football teams including Atlanta’s Falcons and, after their stunning overtime win last evening, midwesterner Kirk Cousins Swag Surfed along with the crowd.

Announcers declaring, “Now THAT’S surfing!”

Watch here.

But how long, do you imagine, will this desolation stretch on? Will we see another cool surfer in our lifetimes?

Caitlin Simmers, we turn our lonely eyes to you.

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