"I paddled out at your local break and nobody knew you."

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, in our surfing world this morning, as two Instagram meme giants square off in what may escalate into a scorched earth war of attrition. For context, Kook of the Day sprouted in the very early social media featuring funny, light-hearted images of folk wearing wetsuits backward, folk with Wavestorms riding shotgun in convertibles, folk generally kooking it. A few years later, Kook Slams appeared featuring amusing clips of folk wiping out, folk yelling at each other in the lineup, folk getting whacked on beach while taking selfies, folk generally kooking it.

Now, Kook of the Day ran into a bit of trouble, having the account disappeared by Mark Zuckerberg for a time, getting it back then having it re-disappeared. Currently, the business is being run out of the backup account, Kook of the Day OG and holding some 15,000 supporters. Kook Slams has appeared to steer clear of Zuckerberg’s jackboot and boasts a whopping 2.4 million friendlies.

The latest batch of troubles between the two arose hours ago when Kook Slams offered a t-shirt for sale reading “I paddled out at your local break and nobody knew you.” All fine and good, except Kook of the Day had released a sticker much time ago reading “I went to your local spot and no one knew you.”

Wanton plagiarism.

Taking its war to the people, Kook of the Day called Kook Slams the dreaded triple K, “kookslams kopykat kooks” and asked for folk to “support the OG.”

Kook Slams has yet to respond though is likely weighing options.

Do you have any thoughts on the matter? Worried that the internecine conflict might spread to other meme accounts?

Scary days.

"They may take our lives, but they'll never take our 3 - 4 ft mechanical rights and lefts!"

Many centuries ago, in the 1200s to be more precise, there lived a brave knight up in Scotland’s highlands named William Wallace. Little is known about his background, only that he came from noble stock. Scotland was enjoying a relatively peaceful period but then the king died thus breaking all hell loose. England’s king, Edward I, saw an opportunity to rule the north which led to Wallace gathering troops and fighting back for their sovereignty. After a stirring victory at Stirling Bridge, things took a turn for the worse at Falkirk and the brave Scots suffered heavy losses. Wallace was eventually captured and taken to London where he was drawn, quartered, emasculated and eviscerated before being beheaded.

His dream of Europe’s largest wave pool being built in Scotland dying with him.

You can imagine the thrill in Alba today, then, with the official opening of the Lost Shore Surf Resort but days away.

Located just outside of Edinburgh and featuring Wavegarden Cove technology, Lost Shore’s owners are hoping to see some 160,000 visitors come and barrel and also, possibly, the development of gold medal talent.

Founder, Andy Hadden bullishly declared, “We believe Lost Shore will make surfing accessible to everyone, whilst also showcasing Scotland as a top destination for adventure tourism. I can’t wait to see more people realize the mental and physical benefits of surfing. Who knows – this could be the training ground for Scotland’s next Olympic surfing champion.”

Paul Stark, the chief executive of the Scottish Surfing Federation, added, “Not only will this facility support our Scottish athletes to excel on a world stage, but it will also open up the sport to a much wider audience, safely encouraging more people to give it a try and experience all mental and physical benefits that surfing can bring.”

Brave and free Scots coming to surf can stay in Hilltop Lodges, Waterfront Lodges or Waterfront Pods while mocking their hated southern neighbors who don’t have a surf tub, much less Europe’s largest one.

The memory of Wallace’s last powerful speech floating in the air.

“Aye, surf and you may die. Run and you’ll live — at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our 3 – 4 ft mechanical rights and lefts!”

Freedom.

Book here.