Kelly Slater, Donald Trump and message to America.

Surfing’s greatest ever Kelly Slater offers stunning olive branch to a divided USA

"Guess who'll be your friend no matter who you voted for?"

After almost two days of celebration where American surfers confirmed their shift to the right following the election of Donald Trump, Kelly Slater has posted an olive brand of sorts to a divided America.

For surfers, among “those silent male voters”, the domination of the Trump/Vance/Elon and Tulsi ticket was a surprise to no one who orbited in the world of X, Theo Von, Joe Rogan, Lex Fridman, Nelk Boys, UFC and co.

Nathan Florence’s own filmer Zoard Janko reflected the feeling among surfers when he posted a lengthy screed shortly after the result had become clear, and which you can read here.

Kelly Slater, who is fifty-two, is old enough to remember the culling of weak-as-piss Jimmy Carter and the ensuing glory days of Ronald Reagan when he told those damn Commies to “tear down this  wall”, had long pivoted away from the Democratic Party.

For those late to surfing, Slater has won eleven world titles, a whole damn lot of Pipe Masters, some Triple Crowns, back when they meant something, and singlehandedly opened the gate to the wavepool revolution. Calling him the greatest surfer ever is an understatement.

Last year, Slater endorsed Robert F Kennedy, son of murdered AG Bobby Kennedy and nephew of murdered president JFK.

Slater and Kennedy even shared a surf together in a staged publicity stunt where they rode waves along side each other and, at one point, held hands.

For a while there Robert F Kennedy Jr was eating up the news as he chased the Democratic presidential nomination, although the Republican Vivek Ramaswamy shifted in and stole his cute new guy thunder. RFK then switched camps and endorsed Trump and was subsequently rewarded with the portfolio of Health.

Always one to stand above the fray, Kelly Slater posted a simple meme on Instagram earlier today. A simple message to his fellow Americans to stand as a united rather than a divided nation.

“Guess who will still be your friend no matter how you voted for?”

A tear jerker!

 

Kelly Slater olive brand to divided America
Slater’s meme to his fellow Americans.

 

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William Wallace (insert) and the Scottish dream. Photo: Lost Shore Surf Resort
William Wallace (insert) and the Scottish dream. Photo: Lost Shore Surf Resort

William Wallace’s dream finally a reality as Europe’s largest wave pool opens in Scotland!

"They may take our lives, but they'll never take our 3 - 4 ft mechanical rights and lefts!"

Many centuries ago, in the 1200s to be more precise, there lived a brave knight up in Scotland’s highlands named William Wallace. Little is known about his background, only that he came from noble stock. Scotland was enjoying a relatively peaceful period but then the king died thus breaking all hell loose. England’s king, Edward I, saw an opportunity to rule the north which led to Wallace gathering troops and fighting back for their sovereignty. After a stirring victory at Stirling Bridge, things took a turn for the worse at Falkirk and the brave Scots suffered heavy losses. Wallace was eventually captured and taken to London where he was drawn, quartered, emasculated and eviscerated before being beheaded.

His dream of Europe’s largest wave pool being built in Scotland dying with him.

You can imagine the thrill in Alba today, then, with the official opening of the Lost Shore Surf Resort but days away.

Located just outside of Edinburgh and featuring Wavegarden Cove technology, Lost Shore’s owners are hoping to see some 160,000 visitors come and barrel and also, possibly, the development of gold medal talent.

Founder, Andy Hadden bullishly declared, “We believe Lost Shore will make surfing accessible to everyone, whilst also showcasing Scotland as a top destination for adventure tourism. I can’t wait to see more people realize the mental and physical benefits of surfing. Who knows – this could be the training ground for Scotland’s next Olympic surfing champion.”

Paul Stark, the chief executive of the Scottish Surfing Federation, added, “Not only will this facility support our Scottish athletes to excel on a world stage, but it will also open up the sport to a much wider audience, safely encouraging more people to give it a try and experience all mental and physical benefits that surfing can bring.”

Brave and free Scots coming to surf can stay in Hilltop Lodges, Waterfront Lodges or Waterfront Pods while mocking their hated southern neighbors who don’t have a surf tub, much less Europe’s largest one.

The memory of Wallace’s last powerful speech floating in the air.

“Aye, surf and you may die. Run and you’ll live — at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our 3 – 4 ft mechanical rights and lefts!”

Freedom.

Book here.

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Heartbroken children.
"That's the son of a bitch who broke my heart. Kill him."

World surf champ slammed by heartbroken father after humiliation of 10-year-old son in surf shop

“It broke my heart to see my little boy so excited to go into your store and then to come out so emotional and crying…”

A sad Daddy has taken to Google Reviews to slam an Australian surf store after what he says what a case of mistaken identity that led to his little man leaving the joint in tears.

“I went in there last Friday morning with my 10-year-old son who’d saved $150:00 dollars of his own money to put towards his first surfboard I’d be making up the difference,” writes Phueng Morley.

“On entering we saw a local legend who’d won a world surfing title back in the late nineties after my son got a photo with him he started showing him some boards with his own logo on them and would be a good size for him he then told us that once he got the board he’d take him out for a surf.

“We couldn’t believe it my son was absolutely stoked, after checking out a couple more boards I asked him again if he’d have time to take my son for a surf which again he assured me that he’d definitely take him for a surf he then asked me if his name was in some book that was at the counter to which I said no.

“After realising he’d mistaken my son for someone else who was supposed to be there that morning to which he had a bit of a laugh walked back over to another bloke that was working there and told him the story with another couple of uneasy laughs and didn’t say anything else to me or my son, just left us standing there by ourselves.

“I know that we all make mistakes but just to leave my 10-year-old son there and walk away from him he’d thought he’d done something wrong and that use have played a cruel joke on him.

“We left the store without a surfboard that he wanted to buy and I could see that his heart was crushed. He didn’t even go out for a surf all weekend while we were there. It broke my heart to see my little boy so excited to go into your store and then to come out so emotional and crying it was the first time I’ve seen him like that, I just hope out of all this my boy still keeps his love of the ocean and wanting to surf.”

Morley left a one-star review.

Who else has had a heart-breaking encounter with a world champion, surf or no?

I’ve enjoyed the theatre of “doing” cocaine with two, tried to fight one, paradoxically while high on MDMA, and had another two almost take my head off.

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Surf stars, including surfer of the year Nathan Florence, celebrate Trump victory and demise of “magic black girl”

“The degradation of morality was pushed too far in one direction and it’s time to return to common sense!”

The election of Donnie Johnny Trump, a seventy-eight-year-old billionaire who holds a bachelor of economics degree from the University of Pennsylvania, defeating the “magic black girl” who ran on an obscure platform of”joy”, has thrilled to pieces some of the biggest names in surfing.

Following the landslide to the Trump/Vance/Dana/Joe/Elon and Tulsi ticket, surfers, “those silent male voters”, have revealed their joy over socials.

The celebrated filmer Zoard Janko, whose master is surfer of the year Nathan Florence, posted a lengthy screed shortly after the result had become clear.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Zoard Janko (@zoard)

Life Liberty and the Pursuit Happiness

Nice Work USA. The Leader of the Free World.

The degradation of morality was pushed too far in one direction and it’s time to return to common sense!

I voted to end wars that kill innocent people, and could lead to nuclear war

I voted against men in women’s sports

I voted against 13,099 murderers and 15,811 sex offenders being allowed to cross our border (*actual ICE statistic, as of Sept. 25, 2024)

I voted to prevent more innocent women from being raped and killed by illegal immigrants

I voted against taxpayer funded sex-change surgeries for prisoners and illegal aliens

I voted against aggressive lockdowns and forced unproven vaccines

I voted for free speech and against censorship

I voted against a mainstream media that values clicks and rage above truth and accuracy

I voted against the revolving door of food and pharma executives taking positions at what should be unbiased institutions, like the FDA and USDA

I voted against a world where your pets can be taken from you and euthanized for no reason

I voted for those who run the government to be more like Tulsi Gabbard and RFK, and less like Nancy Pelosi and Gavin Newsom

I voted to remove Fluoride from our tap water

Im not just voting for a person, or even a party

I’m voting for sanity, safety, and a better America

If you’ve read this far,

God Bless America, You all, and the future of the world

Among those who liked the post were the surf stars Shane Dorian, Nathan Florence, Mark Healey, Kai Lenny, Matt Meola, Bruce Irons and the Australian slab-slayer Ned Hart.

“Good work,” wrote Nathan Florence, with flame emoji.

“LFG!” wrote Healey, using the abbreviation for Let’s Fucking Go.

Kai Lenny posted four flame emojis.

Bruce Irons, long a considered voice on American politics, wrote “We have to defend our people, congratulations.”

No word yet from Bethany Hamilton, whose slant has long been toward the right nor Kelly Slater, whose public endorsement of Robert F Kennedy one year ago, including a surf session where they held hands on one wave, sent shivers through the Obama-Harris camp. A portent of doom, as it turned out.

In an interview with RFK, Kelly Slater warned listeners about listening to their state masters.

“Maybe we’re not always being told the truth and you need to look into things, talk to people who are there, listen to alternative theories about things, you know?”

A chilling prophecy heeded.

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Surf great Kelly Slater called out by snowboard legend for spewing climate misinformation

"It takes 15 of the world’s largest container ships to equal all the pollution created by cars on earth."

The winningest professional surfer of all-time, one Robert Kelly Slater, found himself Instagram, yesterday, as Americans flocked to the polls and decided it was time to share a bit of information about climate change. The autodidact is, of course, widely knowledgable across multiple fields. Slater is smarter than most doctors, a mathematics whiz and an expert in Sino-American relations just to name but a very few.

Regarding the climate, though, the legendary snowboarder Jeremy Jones had posted a carousel of images highlighting the differences between Trump’s policy positions and Harris’s and urged his many followers to vote with the climate in mind.

Slater, in any case, teed off, “So you think Harris winning is gonna change the planet’s climate in a noticeable way? It takes 15 of the world’s largest container ships to equal all the pollution created by cars on earth. And there are thousands of those ships. Any policy they can get her to memorize and speak on is not gonna change anything in any tangible way and surely not stopping avalanches, as old as time itself. But if we all fight about it here it might just fix it.”

Nobody at the time of his comment was fighting though the floodgates certainly opened thereafter with many Slater fans praising the 11x world champion’s intelligence and fortitude.

The only small problem, Slater was spewing misinformation like a coal fire. Jones, a climate activist for many years and founder of the non-profit Protect Our Winters thanked the 57-year-old Pipe Master for joining the conversation though pointed out that “The CO2 output from all the cars on the planet in a year is approximately 3.05 billion tons of CO2. The 15 largest cargo ships in the world collectively produce 4.13 to 4.96 million tons of CO2 annually.”

Hmmmmm.

Slater’s skepticism, and smoke blowing, might have been borne from sincere confusion even though, as mentioned, he is smarter than most doctors. It might also have been borne from the fact that he is actively trying to sell energy-hungry wave pools to Middle Eastern petro-kingdoms. Do you have any thoughts on that?

If we all fight about it here it might just fix it.

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