I woke up early this morning and thought, “Time to drive up to San Clemente, sit across a fine coffee table from David Lee Scales and talk.” Then I thought, “I have talked a lot this week.” After that I thought, “I am the Ryan Seacrest of surf.”
A relatively distasteful figure who is, nonetheless, everywhere.
All the time.
Even though not one person has ever uttered the phrase, “You know what I need right now? Some Ryan Seacrest.”
In any case, after drinking a French pressed pot of French roasted coffee, I drove up to San Clemente and sat across a fine coffee table from David Lee Scales and talked.
You already know.
First, can I please offer my deep, deep thanks to all of you for the comment thread underneath Derek Rielly’s pinnacle work of art Kelly Slater Hits Back at Historically Inaccurate Troll on Instagram: “I Don’t Give a Shi*t… You’re on Glue. You’re a Miserable Coward… Accusing me of Being a Racist? My Girlfriend is Chinese… F*ck Off.”
The best piece that has ever appeared here, or anywhere for that matter, and you… all of you brought your absolute A games into the comments.
I laughed. I laughed until I cried. Then I laughed some more, fell asleep and drove up to San Clemente, sat across a fine coffee table from David Lee Scales and talked about Kelly Slater and about you.
Oh and the WSL being laughably wrong about everything. And how Ken “Skindog” Collins is the Consciousness of our Community.
And how Surf Ranch is unwatchable and dumb.
Ryan Seacrest 4 Eva!