"This session is for EXPERTS ONLY; it requires
advanced paddle techniques, strong wave selection, and the ability
to navigate heavy conditions."
The Oxford dictionary defines “persistence” as
“firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of
difficulty or opposition.”
Albert Einstein is attributed to have once said, “Insanity is
doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different
results” (except he never actually said that or anything remotely
close thereto).
If both of these definitions are true though, a man resolutely
determined to accomplish something by doing the same thing over and
over might never know whether he is persistent or insane. Like
Sisyphus himself, he just keeps pushing that rock back up that hill
only have it fall back down each time, self-assured that one day,
that stupid damn rock is going to stay in place atop the hill. And
to the rest of the world, he is considered insane once he is seen
to fail again and again but keeps trying again and again anyway.
Ultimately though, the true distinction between persistence and
insanity is not what is in a man’s mind—it is the ultimate result
of his efforts.
This is because the moment that rock stays at the top of the
hill, the man is no longer insane according to the rest of the
world. Instead, he is a “hard worker,” he is “entitled to the
fruits of his labor,” and/or he is “the model American.” Now, he is
“persistent,” even though the only thing that has actually changed
is that the rock finally didn’t roll back down the hill after he
pushed it all the way up there. To this point, perhaps persistence
is merely just one more curious facet of insanity.
BeachGrit commentariat, despite writing the place off, I have
yet again returned to the Palm Springs Surf Club (“PSSC”), I have
surfed the barreling A-Frame, and this will be my final article
thereon.
So, am I insane? Are you insane? Is the whole damn world insane?
Are we going to just argue about the election in the comments
section instead?
Less than two weeks following my most recent article on this
subject, I receive a PSSC email indicating that November sessions
are available, and a new public session wave is on offer for the
low low price of $265 per hour called the “Pro A-Frame.” This wave
is described as follows on the PSSC website:
“The 5 wave Pro A-Frame session features a slab like takeoff and
an 8 second interval between waves. The Pro A-Frame breaks both
left and right, creating a dynamic playground for expert surfers.
Surfers can expect rapid drop-ins, challenging barrel sections, and
the opportunity to execute performance turns mid wave and airs on
the end section. The wave ranges from a head high takeoff to a
shoulder high end section.
This session is for EXPERTS ONLY; it requires advanced paddle
techniques, strong wave selection, and the ability to navigate
heavy conditions. Only those with extensive experience should
attempt to harness the power of these A-frames, as safety and skill
are paramount in this exhilarating environment.”
Could this be the slabby wave I was originally promised back in
January? I have never been accused of being an “expert” in the
surfing ability context, though I’ve certainly had plenty of
expertise in getting my sorry ass pounded in hollow surf worse than
a roofied Diddy Freak Off party invitee. “Once more unto the
breach, dear friends, once more,” I say aloud to no one in
particular as I smash that purchase button.
7:15 a.m.: I arrive and start unpacking. The
session is at 8:00 a.m., which means I am up before dawn to drive
out there having consumed enough caffeine to kill a small horse or
large capybara. There are only three other guys who have signed up
for this session. I already know that one of them is no slouch
having shared a session with him at PSSC a couple weeks back, the
other guy is from Hawaii and therefore has a rebuttable presumption
of competence, and the final guy has at least surfed this place
before. This is very good news, since it means we all get our own
waves and can go any direction we like, try to backdoor a section,
etc. We’re told that these waves come in roughly half the intervals
of the other A-Frame settings—every 8 seconds instead of every 15
seconds.
8:00 a.m.: The first session gets started. The
Hawaiian gets clamped. The second guy gets pitched. The third guy
gets pitched. I paddle for my wave thinking I’m going to make the
drop. The lip explodes behind me as I get to my feet and I’m sent
straight to the bottom. This is when I realize that the peak of the
Pro A-Frame is roughly thrice as powerful as the Advanced A-Frame
and the takeoff is about five times more difficult. Getting either
pitched or clipped is something that will happen to me for the
majority of the rest of the hour.
8:05 a.m.: One of the guys working the pool
jumps in, bringing our total number up to five. I recognize him as
a local pro who has probably been the most barreled surfer at the
Northside of the HB Pier over the last 10+ years when that place
turns on. As expected, he has an exponentially better go at it than
any of the rest of us, but as a measure of how tricky this wave is,
even this pro doesn’t make every drop.
8:35 a.m.: No one gets barreled as far as I’ve
seen. Perhaps the pro has, but I’ve spent a good portion of my time
at the bottom of the pool, so I haven’t always had a fantastic
vantage point. I try going left to see if I’ll fare any better
grabbing rail. That doesn’t really work much better, I eventually
get properly flogged, and my leash string breaks. According to the
employees, finding yourself on the business side of one of these
lips has been proven to be a board breaker, so a leash string is a
rather paltry sacrifice to the pool gods, all things
considered.
8:40 a.m.: After grabbing a backup board with
an intact leash string and a bit more rocker, I abandon trying to
take off deep and see about doing some turns. It is a decidedly
easier takeoff a handful of feet wide of the of the peak. There’s
also more power and more size than the Advanced A-Frame out in the
turn section of this wave. The pocket, while still narrower than an
ocean wave, is a little more forgiving and gives you a bit more
runway before reaching dead water, and the end section has the most
push out of any of the other A-Frames.
9:00 a.m.: The session ends and I don’t think
I’ve ever felt this exhausted after a single hour of surfing. This
is a one-and-done day for me, so I head back down south to go put
in a half day of soul sucking work.
4:00 p.m.: After a half-day’s work of soul
sucking, it is beer o’clock, and I ruminate over these three trips
to PSSC I’ve taken over the past year over a few suds. Though I was
previously a bit disappointed with the Intermediate A-Frame and the
Advanced A-Frame, I have to say that PSSC has adequately delivered
with the Pro A-Frame in spite of its heftier price. I wanted a wave
that both barreled and was capable of delivering a good pounding,
that’s exactly what I finally got, and I’d rather get pitched and
clipped for the better part of an hour trying to get shacked (even
if it’s a fake pool barrel) than trying to milk a couple weak turns
out of the more gutless A-Frame settings.
So, with the benefit of experiencing all of these waves, has my
opinion changed on the overall peasant PSSC experience? As to the
Intermediate or Advanced A-Frames, I still could take them or leave
them. As much as I hate to say it though, the Pro A-Frame is mostly
legit.
Is this place a worthy venue for the ‘28 Olympics presuming PSSC
can run the contest in waves of the same power as the Pro A-Frame?
The answer is still no. Surfing is in the ocean.
Finally, am I persistent or am I just insane? I suppose that
depends on how you view the result of all of this. On the one hand,
I have finally gotten to experience what I thought I had signed up
for back in January, which means that I’ve successfully pushed one
rock up a hill and that rock is staying put.
On the other hand, I haven’t even come close to making an
artificial PSSC barrel yet, though I question why I should even
really care about something that isn’t even a real wave. In that
sense, I can see in the distance that there’s another hill over
yonder with another rock at the bottom of it.
And indeed, we all inexorably move on to something else the
moment we tick a box, the moment we achieve something, the moment
that fleeting sense of contentment begins to fade. This is just as
true for the rest of our lives as it is with surfing, though our
pointless ocean endeavor certainly tends to take center stage in
the “nothing is ever enough” department.
There’s always one more hill in the world. There’s always one
more rock in the world. And there always will be, unless and until
we become incapable of pushing that rock up the hill and/or we are
crushed underneath its weight.
At the end of the day, the difference between persistence and
insanity is a temporary one, for given enough time, the world makes
all of us insane.
