"I could have been standing at the beach, my beautiful white skin getting nice and tan. Being smacked, being smacked in the face by a wave loaded up with salt..."
It is election day, in America, in case you were unaware. Happy men and women, each over the age of eighteen, giddily traipsing to polling locations in order to place a vote for their preferred candidates and issues. A wonderful sense of optimism in the air as they greet each other along the way.
“Morning, friend.”
“Howdy, neighbor.”
The headlining act is, of course, Republican Donald J. Trump and Democrat Kamala Harris who are both running to be President of these extremely United States. Now, some children grow up dreaming that someday, they might sit in the White House themselves. Trump, indeed, has squatted in the Oval Office signing bills into law etc. though at his final campaign stop it appears he rues not chasing a different sort of life.
That of a surfer.
At one of his rallies in Virginia, Trump gazed ruefully at his adoring audience and declared, “I didn’t need this. I didn’t need to be with you tonight. I could have been standing at the beach, my beautiful white skin getting nice and tan. Being smacked, being smacked in the face by a wave loaded up with salt, salt water. And I could have said, ‘The hell with everything. I could have had the greatest life in the world. Instead, I got missing a little piece of my ear.’”
The greatest life in the world, without question, though may there still be time for the 78-year-old Florida local to tan that beautiful white skin and get smacked in the face by a wave loaded up with salt? Surfing’s current greatest of all-time Kelly Slater is 58, a mere two decades younger than Trump, and also the wild influx of vulnerable adult learners, post-COVID, has highlighted that it’s never too late to start.
Very exciting.
Speaking of Slater, though, do you think his BFF Tulsi Gabbard and idol Joe Rogan have convinced him to vote for Trump thus keeping him out of the water and dealing with national problems?
Surfing shade is something he throws best.
Sneaky old GOAT.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Ok boomer/maga incel
Well, at least we know how Joel feels.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
and those have obviously been Trump’s campaign promises and GOP talking points at large😂😂😂
Fuck. A vindication of how being a loud dickhead actually takes you places.
And yet again, not the leaders we need but the leaders we deserve etc etc.
Also a vindication that being a sub-par career politician pinhead won’t take you to the top. Sorry Kamala, no presidency for you.
True. Better than hillary clinton and joe biden, but still, the standard is so low. We’re all fucked.
Make Kamala Indian again!!
OUCH. that looked like it hurt.
Garbage for the Win!!!
RIP Peanut and Fred. You died for the cause.
Good Times! I see the deep state is a little nervous https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Congratulations on your win Bex.
America deserves everything that is coming to it as a consequence of all of this
Very difficult to be optimistic about a range of things affecting America and elsewhere. Gawd the speech is awful. Elon’s getting whatever he wants.
They got Elon with Dump – we’ll get Gina with Dutton.
Whatd you expect putting up a retard like Harris?
I expected to be unburdened by what has been 🙁
Rigged – voter fraud etc
More than twice as many votes counted in red/rural counties as there are registered voters in those counties.
Mysterious masked men in MAGA hats dropping off purported absentee ballots all over the place in swing states
STOP THE STEAL.
We need to have a MOSTLY PEACEFUL protest outside the Capitol when congress is certifying the election results.
You taught them well!!
Let the fascism begin!!
Drill drill drill baby, liquid gold for everyone.
And more liquid fenty for sad Dems!!
He’s in . so i retract my last statement.
I wish! Woulda speared the cunt right in the clacka
see eggplant emoji above.
Fairly sure that BG’s favourite Kelly is all in on the Don, and RFK as the chief medical officer.
Hope to God that he never lets the world know. Please keep that stupid decision to yourself.
He also said he’s going to put Herschel walker who is the dumbest person alive in charge of a new American missile defense system.
life started in the warm arcata/humboldt river and in the marshes&redwoods..
Kamalas still alive
Nah, she’s toast.
Worst candidate ever
We don’t need no education we don’t need our thought’s controlled…gov’t and teachers and parents leave our thgoughts alon
?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=Wu2VfFlBX2oQ7kNvgH_K9XH&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AgUNyufqruksTwUyrQuWQNZ&oh=00_AYCn7l9WcEm7V66NgCTG_JQOgrVoKId1tRqdhj2xi4b4iA&oe=6730BED8
I just walked casually down my street(trying not to get run over by an illegal alien gardener speeding though my neighborhood that doesn’t have side walks) to my polling location. Got my ballot from the aged hippy boomer poll workers and voted for every republican, and “NO” on everything except to throw loosers criminals in jail. I did my civic duty. 🤘
Rumor has it Trump’s going to build a wall at Bath Beach…
In light of the recent passing of Quincy Jones, let’s see what he had to say about Donald…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
…and his surf-crazed daughter, Ivanka
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
so do ya reckon Ivanka had a stormy relationship with Quincy….could be in the genes???
cohen was a queer? steely dan and H-Wood is deaf&dumb…Ruffalo is a pinhead!
bit like a man trying to describe a womans motivations thoughts feelings etc….??
Like a man having an opinion on abortion
I would, but i never read surfline man.
This man, makin’ money how I know
Won’t be no man of me
In my bed I watch TV
I’m drunk by noon, but that’s OK
I’ll be President some day
For chrissakes Jen will you deep six that insufferable kook already? Maybe you can make him go out in some final blaze of glory or maybe a bad acid trip in some foreign jungle surf escapade where he jumps off a cliff as he’s being chased down by an imaginary troop of rabid flesh-eating monkeys. Or he could even choke on an edible, whatever. You could even make it into a three part series but please, I beg of you, no, I implore you, please stop the torture, enough of surfline man.
Jen sez ‘no can do!’
Chas gives her so much inspiration for Surfline Man on a daily basis.
young gorilla. get ’em young…here.