"We've finally solved one of life's most confounding mysteries..."
Cathedral bells are chiming across the United Kingdom, this morning, after researchers made a profound breakthrough overnight. For decades, now, the greatest minds in England, North Ireland, Scotland and Wales have puzzled over how the young royals, Princes William and Harry, fell in love with surfing. Their House of Windsor has placed five backsides on the throne, George V, Edward VIII, George VI, Elizabeth II and Charles III.
None notable wave sliders.
And yet William, next in line for the crown, has enjoyed both the boogie life and the longerboard life for years, surfing in Wales, England and Scotland, three of his four holdings. Harry, though currently banished, was just snapped getting placed into a Kelly Slater barrel by none other than Raimana Van Bastolear.
From whence did this “need for speed,” to quote California surfing royalty Matt Archbold, come?
New analysis suggests from the late great Queen of Hearts, Princess Diana herself.
Per the Daily Mail think-piece, Lady Diana, “…took her mind off her separation from Charles in 1993 on the sandy beaches of Nevis in the Caribbean. She took William and Harry, then aged ten and eight, bodyboarding and her friend Catherine Soames joined them. The pictures (of the surfing-adjacent) hit the front pages in the UK and when Diana returned home, she said: ‘That was the best holiday I’ve ever had.'”
And thus the hook was set. William described a Scottish surfing session from some 20 years ago whilst he was at university, declaring, “It was a bit like putting your head in a freezer when you went underwater, but the wetsuit I’ve got is pretty good. I couldn’t feel my hands for about half an hour. After a while they get so numb. There’s no noise. It’s just you breathing. You’re in a different world with the fish.”
Harry, of course, in Lemoore with the aforementioned Van Bastolear solemnly stating, “In Tahiti, we still call you Prince Harry. But at Surf Ranch, it’s my brother.
Further scrutiny reveals that King Charles surfed Cornwall in 1973 but that was before either of his sons were born so doesn’t count.
And there we have it. One of life’s more confounding mysteries likely solved.
Huzzah.
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There’s Footage of Charles surfing at Bondi (?) In about 1977. He was a goofy and actually not bad. Definitely better than you’d think.
What about that guy born in Blyth, Northumberland? He could surf ok.
or Rodney Sumpter with his union jack mal?
That’s an epic, 90’s throwback.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Chuck at Bondi.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Chuck at Cott
Get with the program, peasants!
https://www.museumofbritishsurfing.org.uk/the-surfing-history-of-the-royal-family/
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
meanwhile, back at the ranch…there’s a spoiler alert. actor’s career suicide: John Sutton (aka Kevin ‘cos nerd’ Costner has left Yellowstone…and the planet…so he can concentrate on becoming a video surf legend. (see also cast of big wednesday.)
Surfing and the Royals have a common value. Wave 👋
works best when driving…not advised in tunnels.
That was the goodbye wave. Lay Lady Di.
Sir Carwyn Williams
That this “article” and our comments will occupy server space and energy, thus adding a lilliputian hit to our warming planet, is a perfect snapshot of how fucked we all really are.
Anyway, party on, everyone:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9-v12HyWEA
tia carrera naked w/sushi…all over her body!
You went to the Chinese restaurant and asked for “cream of sum yung gai” again, didn’t you
The “need for speed” didn’t really work out for Princess Diana in the end though
Even further scrutiny reveals that, amazingly, there were actually some future BG regulars in the water when Charles went surfing at Cornwall: “locals recalled Prince Charles was rather lacking in surf etiquette, as he would drop in on their waves unexpectedly. He also enquired how to use the wax on his board. They told His Majesty to rub it on the bottom of the board to go faster, advising, ‘It’s just like waxing your skis.’”
parra (fin) waxing. which begs the? what did the ancients use for candles? beehives and/or whale oil and/or those round balls that washed ashore in Oz?
default is always use the balls
analyzed balls determined a mix of…PAYQQALL!
Was ambergris perhaps? Ye know the value of that!