Kai Lenny says, "You get to show surfing to the most famous people in the world! They must all think you’re the biggest legend in the world!"
The former frontline royal Prince Harry, who bravely killed twenty five worthless goat-fucking Taliban sons of bitches from his helicopter turret during the Afghanistan War, has fallen, again, and like most celebrities, under the considerable spell of Tahitian Raimana Van Bastolaer.
Recently, Ivanka Trump, the statuesque forty-two-year-old daughter of Donald and Ivana Trump (RIP), and whom you last saw on these pages when she savaged “violent, manipulating” windsurfers on a Lex Fridman podcast, fell under the spell of Raimana during a recent trip to the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch.
Five days ago it was the “incredibly horny” rapper Doja Cat whom Raimana deft hoisted into her first barrel.
One year ago, we found Prince Harry aching for Raimana’s crotch fire at a F1 race in Austin, Texas, with news site @polynesiela1ere posting,“Who doesn’t know Raimana Van Bastolaer?”
And, today, that friendship blossomed into a tuberiding experience for Prince Harry when he demonstrated better than the usual celeb surf skills when he jumped off Raimana’s ski, got himself to his feet and, at some point, although not filmed on video but captured on stills, a barrel shot most of us could be pretty happy with.
Back in 2020, the wonderful Theodore Dalrymple wrote of the paradox that is Prince Harry,
He wants to destroy tradition and at the same time benefit from its continuation. He has no claim to the public’s attention except that he was born who he was in the very tradition that he wants to overthrow because he wants to be really, truly, just himself. I can well understand why a young man in his position does not want to play the part allotted to him by fate; I wouldn’t have wanted such a part myself. But in order not to be a hypocrite, he should have gone off quietly into obscurity, without public subvention, there to study butterflies or Sumerian epigraphy, or whatever took his fancy.
He has rendered a service, however, by holding up a mirror to our modern egotism. He is, so to say, the selfie, the tweet, and the Facebook page made flesh.
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The royal privacy tour continues.
charles on diana’s tit(s)…priceless…
I’d be gutted if someone posted a wave like that of me … pure kookval. Also cheers to Raimana for hoodwinking rich fools into thinking this is what surfing is — far, far from Tahiti. A perfect scam.
let’s drop wallet into indigenous people’s day…did we give ’em the day off. Jack-off?
So brainwashed. Good thing a different upcoming world power didn’t get to these people’s first.
Propaganda!
I can’t wait to snake him if he’s out anywhere in the 805!
It hardly made a dent in them really.
Harry Pothead. Scoring cones in this game of thrones
We must focus on the positives
Crikey that’s a lovely dissection of the ginger prince. Not a word out of place
Dalrymple’s, I mean
https://historyreclaimed.co.uk/colonialism-did-not-cause-the-indian-famines/
British colonialism, while being many things to many people, didn’t quite extend to controlling the weather
Im pretty sure it was 169 mill
That is tragic! But of greater importance, can you imagine how crowded the surf breaks would be in India, if not for all of those deaths?
The British were partially paid back during WWI and WWII with the deaths of the majority of their manly men. I doubt they’ll ever recover
Great to see the ultimate poster child for living on the dole enjoying the fruits of others labor!
My dad’s side of the family is all British. I always bring it up every time I go there to rile them up. Nice house you bought Harry and Megs in Montecito. Was it a going away gift? They always go oh no we didn’t pay for that. He has been cut off for years. I just look at them and go sureeeee ya didn’t. Whatever helps you sleep at night cuz.
Love that! My go to is:
The Brits have been basking in their mediocrity* for over two hundred years…of course with a stiff upper lip!
*Excluding Morrissey who is the only shining beacon of positivity the country offers these days
I’m sure Megs and Oprah set the Cito situation up.
I just wish Australians could lose our loser convict mentally and one day throw these Royals away and become a republic!
I’m sure it be a banana republic but we headed that way now. Fuckkkk the Royal family, I’m obviously part Irish.
Fuckkkk the king!
the wave pools were a real estate scheme turned papparazzi fest all along to boost kellys ego and his purse. hes still bitter about gisele dumping him.
Sure, this is surfing
and that girl at the strip club really does love you.
Long time
Are you sure that is Prince Harry? I think I see that guy out at my local every morning at sunrise. He calls me “brah,” drives a lifted shark grey Sprinter van, parks in the handi spot without a handi plate, does 15 minutes of warm up drills prior to paddling out, has a Japanese Yamamoto rubber custom wetsuit for everyday of the week, drinks Laird Super Poo coffee creamer, won’t stop yapping about “breath work & cold plunges,” and claims he gets pitted on boat trips.
Careful, Jenn has the copyrights on him
Some might call him Surfline Man while others call him SprinterBoi