Kai Lenny says, "You get to show surfing to the most famous people in the world! They must all think you’re the biggest legend in the world!"
The former frontline royal Prince Harry, who bravely killed twenty five worthless goat-fucking Taliban sons of bitches from his helicopter turret during the Afghanistan War, has fallen, again, and like most celebrities, under the considerable spell of Tahitian Raimana Van Bastolaer.
Recently, Ivanka Trump, the statuesque forty-two-year-old daughter of Donald and Ivana Trump (RIP), and whom you last saw on these pages when she savaged “violent, manipulating” windsurfers on a Lex Fridman podcast, fell under the spell of Raimana during a recent trip to the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch.
Five days ago it was the “incredibly horny” rapper Doja Cat whom Raimana deft hoisted into her first barrel.
One year ago, we found Prince Harry aching for Raimana’s crotch fire at a F1 race in Austin, Texas, with news site @polynesiela1ere posting,“Who doesn’t know Raimana Van Bastolaer?”
And, today, that friendship blossomed into a tuberiding experience for Prince Harry when he demonstrated better than the usual celeb surf skills when he jumped off Raimana’s ski, got himself to his feet and, at some point, although not filmed on video but captured on stills, a barrel shot most of us could be pretty happy with.
Back in 2020, the wonderful Theodore Dalrymple wrote of the paradox that is Prince Harry,
He wants to destroy tradition and at the same time benefit from its continuation. He has no claim to the public’s attention except that he was born who he was in the very tradition that he wants to overthrow because he wants to be really, truly, just himself. I can well understand why a young man in his position does not want to play the part allotted to him by fate; I wouldn’t have wanted such a part myself. But in order not to be a hypocrite, he should have gone off quietly into obscurity, without public subvention, there to study butterflies or Sumerian epigraphy, or whatever took his fancy.
He has rendered a service, however, by holding up a mirror to our modern egotism. He is, so to say, the selfie, the tweet, and the Facebook page made flesh.
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