Dennis and the shark. Photo: Orleans Police Dept.
Dennis and the shark. Photo: Orleans Police Dept.

Unbelievably huge great white shark washes up on Cape Cod beach

"Unfortunately, this giant was located washed up on the beach, and just as with a 4x4 stuck on the outer, we called Dennis to tow it away."

We surfers, we players in the ocean, are all very aware that monstrous creatures lurk beneath our dangling toesies. Sharp-fanged brutes with beady little eyes and remorseless souls. Bloodbottlers and fleshlumpeaters, bonecrunchers and manhuggers. Yes, we are all very aware but do our best to shove that very awareness into the dusty corner’d pieces of our brains where old math equations lurk.

But then one of the beasties washes to shore and that very awareness lurches to the front and haunts and haunts and haunts.

And let us travel to Cape Cod where a great white so large, so viciously scary, washed to shore. The Orleans police department shared:

Not one of our typical calls for service. Nor is it one for our local duty tow, Nauset Recovery. But, as always, we answered the call. Unfortunately, this giant was located washed up on the beach, and just as with a 4×4 stuck on the outer, we called Dennis to tow it away. You really never know what kind of call you’ll respond to on any given shift. At least Sgt Elliott only needed to follow the tow truck and didn’t have to wrestle an unruly Great White.

That Dennis a real champ. Back to the GREAT white, though, the Atlantic White Shark Conservancy declared it would be performing a necropsy to see what killed the freak. “At this point, we do not know if it was a tagged or previously identified individual,” it revealed.

Now, the next time you paddle, will you have visions of the colossus swimming beneath or are you of strong mind and spirit like Dennis?

Be honest, please.

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Markets rocked as Brooke Farris, the Rip Curl CEO who led controversial pivot to trans-market, suddenly quits

“Elevating people like Brooke Farris into powerful positions is a sign that surfing is moving away from its gender-bullying past.”

Less than one year after leading Rip Curl’s heavy pivot to the trans market which ended in a world-wide boycott of the brand, its CEO Brooke Farris has suddenly quit with the company now scrambling to fill the role.

“After 14 years at Rip Curl, and over three of those in the CEO role, the time feels right for a break and new opportunities,” Brooke Farris said in a statement. “It has been an honour to lead this iconic brand, and I’m confident Rip Curl will continue to be the ultimate surfing company.”

In January, the Kathmandu-owned Rip Curl joined a conga line of Australian swimwear companies in pivoting to the growing trans-woman market.

An Instagram reel followed as part of Rip Curl Women’s Meet the Local Heroes of Western Australia campaign, Rip Curl Women featured the inspirational T-girl Sasha Jane Lowerson.

Lowerson was one of Australia’s leading male longboarders, even winning the men’s longboard div as Ryan Egan, before transitioning four years ago and joining the women’s side of the draw.

Sasha Jane Lowerson trans boycott
The trans-friendly Rip Curl post of Sasha Jane Lowerson that almost burned the whole joint down.

Meet Sasha – a West Australian waterwoman who loves the freedom found in surfing, disconnecting from the mainstream, and the feeling of dancing on constantly changing waves. When we were adventuring through Western Australia recently, we were keen to know what The Search means to the surfers who crossed our paths. These surfers live on a wild stretch of coast where there’s always a new wave or campsite just a little further down the road or off the beaten track. It’s a state of mind, always being ready to try something new, curious to seek out knowledge and learn the rules – and break them.⁠

Sometimes it isn’t even the actual surf, it’s the journey itself, the chats that we have in the car on the long straight roads here in WA and the campfire afterwards,” Lowerson says. “Friendships grow on the search and I love that.”

Rip Curl subsequently turned off all comments on the post when the trans-pivot blew into a firestorm.

Initially, Rip Curl refused to react even as the furore spread worldwide and customers were filmed burning boardshorts and throwing their booties in the trash and the hashtag @boycottripcurl trended on X.

They got so much heat, including from high profile anti-trans-gals-in-sports activists Riley Gaines ad Taylor Silverman as well as from their own former team rider Bethany Hamilton, who reportedly split from Rip Curl ‘cause of her anti-T gal stance, they removed the post and apologised. 

“Our recent post has landed us in the divisive space around transgender participation in competitive sport. We want to promote surfing for everyone in a respectful way, but recognize we upset a lot of people with our post and for that, we are sorry. To clarify, the surfer featured has not replaced anyone on the Rip Curl team and is not a sponsored athlete.”

Which in turn got ‘em into the fire with the queer crowd. 

Surf Equity described the “so-called” apology as “divisive, anti-trans, and discriminatory. The LGBTQIA+ community is appalled. Aligning with bigots harms your brand identity and fails to support your LGBTQIA+ employees.”

Brooke Farris’ appointment as Rip Curl CEO was heralded as important step in smashing the boy’s club that had ruled the surf industry since the, uh, boys had created it in 1969.

“The willingness of the sport to elevate people like Brooke into powerful positions is this incredibly pleasing thing – a sign that surfing is moving away from its gender-bullying past and understanding that there’s strength in diversity,” said Nick Carroll, a one-time commentator below the line on BeachGrit before taking a role with Surfline Australia.

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Keala Kennelly on Tyler Wright death sentence
Keala writes, "Let’s put poor Tyler Wright’s potential execution aside for a moment. @wsl is having a women’s professional surfing event in a country where Emirati women live under male guardianship. Honor Killings can go unpunished, as the victim’s family can pardon the murderer. Marital rape is not criminalized in the UAE and the UAE is a major destination for sex trafficking."

Best female surfer on earth lashes WSL for Tyler Wright “death sentence” surf contest in Sharia Law-ruled Abu Dhabi

Tyler Wright is “risking her life going to a place where being an LGBTQ+ person is punishable by DEATH”

The big-wave world champion Keala Kennelly, once described, controversially I think, as “the best female surfer on earth”, has thrown her social media weight behind calls for the WSL to cancel a wave pool event being held in Sharia-ruled Abu Dhabi in case two-time world champ Tyler Wright is killed for being gay. 

WSL released their 2025 tour schedule and the second event is in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates.
HOW IN THE HELL does WSL think it’s ok to sell an event to a location where it’s ILLEGAL to be an LGBTQ + person when they have a 2x world champion @tylerwright who is an openly gay athlete who has a pride flag on her jersey???
So now Tyler has to decide if she is going to damage her career by missing the event or compete knowing she is risking her life going to a place where being an LGBTQ+ person is punishable by DEATH.
Let’s put poor Tyler’s potential execution aside for a moment.
@wsl is having a women’s professional surfing event in a country where
Emirati women live under male guardianship. “Honor Killings” can go unpunished, as the victim’s family can pardon the murderer. Marital rape is not criminalized in the UAE and the UAE is a major destination for sex trafficking.
The WSL should be putting the health, safety and wellbeing of their athletes over $$$ and the athletes should boycott the event like they did in South Africa when sunnygarcia couldn’t compete because at the time black people were not allowed on the beach.
Hosting events in countries that have blatant human rights violations should be unacceptable. Do you agree?Blast this post all over social media if you agree. 

Keala helpfully included screenshots of the relevant laws in the UAE. Although, to be fair, no one is getting shot or stoned and the UAE did sign the Abraham Accords with Israel which means if they can stomach the Jews they can probably get their head around gays eventually although same-sex marriage may take a while.

Keala Kennelly criticises UAE contest

The furore kicked off three days ago when Tyler Wright’s older brother Mikey lit up on the WSL’s Instagram posting announcing the 2025 schedule. 

“You have no business putting on an event at a location where my sister can be sentenced by law with the death penalty. So much for equality and equal rights, only when it’s convenient to wsl. You have supported the LGBTQ flag on her shoulder but now you want to strip it and be hush hush to get her to a location that she’s at risk of this punishment. You have the responsibility to protect your athletes, interested to see how you think you can protect her against the law.” 

Sharia law, if you didn’t know, is the moral and religious code for the souls among us who practice Islam. It considers homosexual acts as sinful and punishable and recommends imprisonment, floggings or the death penalty, sometimes even adding a stoning into the mix for laughs. 

Criticism of Sharia is generally regarded as Islamophobic so, like, don’t go there.

Like, yay Queers for Palestine! River to the Sea, Hamas and Hezbollah are freedom fighters etc. 

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Will Tyler and Lilli Wright (insert) travel to beautiful Abu Dhabi?
Will Tyler and Lilli Wright (insert) travel to beautiful Abu Dhabi?

Tyler Wright’s wife adds to growing criticism of World Surf League planned Abu Dhabi “death sentence” surf event

"Tyler's queerness should not have to be a burden or an obstacle in her workplace."

The World Surf League is coming under increasing fire from the greater Wright family for its decision to host a Championship Tour event in the United Arab Emirates. Abu Dhabi, the brave little city that could, just weeks ago unveiled its brand-new Kelly Slater-designed wave tank to much applause. The “largest surf pool in the world” features the same technology perfected in Lemoore, California and the WSL instantly inked the facility to a three-year CT slot.

While many professionals surfers might be overjoyed with the possibility of experiencing famed Arab hospitality plus all the glitz and glamor of Abu Dhabi’s neighbor Dubai, the aforementioned Wrights are not amongst them.

Days ago, Wright’s younger brother Mikey, receiver of multiple wildcards, lit into the WSL on Instagram, publicly declaring, “You have no business putting on an event at a location where my sister can be sentenced by law with the death penalty. So much for equality and equal rights, only when it’s convenient to wsl. You have supported the LGBTQ flag on her shoulder but now you want to strip it and be hush hush to get her to a location that she’s at risk of this punishment. You have the responsibility to protect your athletes, interested to see how you think you can protect her against the law.”

His wife later joined the fray, adding, “Nice to see you guys are factoring in the safety of the contestants lives when choosing locations.”

And now Tyler’s own wife has hopped on top of the pile-on. You certainly recall two-ish years ago when she and Lilli Baker tied the knot. “Not a dry eye in the house,” Derek Rielly wrote at the time.

Well, mad as hell, Lilli took the lash to the World Surf League, salvoing, “Unfortunately homosexuality is illegal at one of the locations and my wife can legally be sentenced to death or imprisonment if she tries to attend. Tyler has competed on this tour for over 14 years and has had the pride flag on her jersey since 2020. Even after winning two world titles she is still not valued enough by the WSL to be considered when they sold this event.”

Heavy but not finished as she tightened the screws with her finishing move, poking directly into the World Surf League’s DEI push, adding, “Tyler’s queerness should not have to be a burden or an obstacle in her workplace.”

Hammertown.

The Abu Dhabi Pro, scheduled Feb. 14 – 16 is right around the corner, with a squint. Do you think pressure from the greater Wright clan will force a cancelation or do you imagine all will continue as planned, Tyler maybe even winning with her patented backside attack?

More, certainly, as the story develops.

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I Hate Surfing so much!
I Hate Surfing so much! | Photo: Mark Wiesmayr/@marksurfsbig

Master surfer-ceramicist releases cult “I Hate Surfing” 70s-style ashtrays and truck-stop diner mugs

Show the world how much you hate surfing!

Several nights heretofore, the master surf-ceramicist Damion Fuller held court, surrounded by dozens of his elaborate creations, urns, plates and paintings, at the relaunch of a once down-at-heel beachside hotel now turned into the sort of lightly flamboyant joint a man would take his lover for meaningless and exhausting sexing deep under the influence of pills and liquor. 

Damion Fuller at Barrys Beach Road Hotel for Aloha Zen exhibition
Damion Fuller and part of his non I Hate Surfing range, on display at sexy Barrys Hotel in Bondi. Photo: Mark Wiesmayr/@marksurfsbig

Damion Fuller is a wildly regarded actor in the surf game.

He leveraged a degree in Industrial Design into a career that encompasses accumulating surfboards from the late seventies and early eighties (“They’re hydrodynamic, functional pieces of art”), building accessories for Mambo, back when it was the hub of the anti-surrealist art movement in the nineties, who then convinced his old boss at Mambo, Dare Jennings, to turn his next label Deus Ex Machina into a surf-moto brand in the spirit of Bruce Brown’s Endless Summer/On Any Sunday combo. 

After, he split for California, for a gig at Nixon, shifted back to Australia five years later for a job at Electric and, later, after he moved the fam to an off the grid farm on the north coast, created the label Aloha to Zen with his wife Fern. The pair make surf themed homewares, the pillows are wild, and spent three years learning the art of ceramics.

And it’s here Fuller has reached his zenith, I think, of beauty and creation. His calling. The urgent need to bring meaning to life and to resurrect a little gentility in surf culture. 

“There’s a lot that can go wrong in the pottery game,” says Fuller, his tongue darting in and out of his mouth, licking at his moustache like a pink lizard. “Which is why you love it, right, because it’s a completely uncontrollable medium. Once you apply heat to mud and chemicals anything can happen.

“And, as an industrial designer I love that. I love the fact it’s a combination of the chemicals and I love the three-dimensional form. It became the perfect vehicle for me to express my love of that golden era of surf culture. I’m just trying to really find a little voice in there that speaks to me.”

I tell Fuller that I was thrilled he was open to the idea of the I Hate Surfing capsule, which will also feature clothes from The Critical Slide Society. A follow-up to our I Don’t Need Life I’m High capsule.

An aside: TCSS owner Sam Coombes was drawn into the surf game after he heard Fuller speak at his university. Fuller told the class, please, no one ask for an internship at Mambo because the answer is NO! Coombes thought that was real cool, pestered Fuller for an internship and eventually got it.

Fuller has made an I Hate Surfing ashtray and an oversized mug.

I ask him to describe the process. 

“Well, the ashtray was easy. That’s called googling ‘Chunky Glass Seventies Ashtrays’. I knew very much as soon as you said I Hate Surfing but with a joyous edge, I knew what shape it was gonna look like. It had to belong in a sex den in a SoHo apartment in New York with carpeted walls. I immediately knew the size we wanted to do and it needed to have a big thick wall and it needed to really dominate your coffee table.

I Hate Surfing ashtray by Damion Fuller
I Hate Surfing seventies-style ashtray by Damion Fuller.

“So I played around with a few different shapes and methods of construction and in the end we’ve settled on a wheel-thrown piece. It’s about two kilos worth of clay to begin with. We throw that out and form it and fire it.” 

And the truck-stop diner mugs? 

“I knew I didn’t want a coffee cup. I knew we wanted a truck stop diner mug, something with a big handle that holds a proper 14 ounces of of percolated diner coffee or whiskey.” 

I Hate Surfing truck-stop mug.
Fourteen ounces to freedom, as they ol saying goes. Photo: Mark Wiesmayr/@marksurfsbig

We ain’t taking a cut of these beautiful creations to keep ‘em down to an affordable price and this link will take you straight to Fuller’s site.

Eighty-five apiece, Australian shekels.

He’ll pack and send ’em anywhere in the world. Free to ship in Australia, thirty-five dollars, Australian, to Europe and the US.

A little wait too ‘cause he’s gotta make ‘em at his little off-the-grid studio. 

So bespoke!

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