Will Tyler and Lilli Wright (insert) travel to beautiful Abu Dhabi?
Will Tyler and Lilli Wright (insert) travel to beautiful Abu Dhabi?

Tyler Wright’s wife adds to growing criticism of World Surf League planned Abu Dhabi “death sentence” surf event

"Tyler's queerness should not have to be a burden or an obstacle in her workplace."

The World Surf League is coming under increasing fire from the greater Wright family for its decision to host a Championship Tour event in the United Arab Emirates. Abu Dhabi, the brave little city that could, just weeks ago unveiled its brand-new Kelly Slater-designed wave tank to much applause. The “largest surf pool in the world” features the same technology perfected in Lemoore, California and the WSL instantly inked the facility to a three-year CT slot.

While many professionals surfers might be overjoyed with the possibility of experiencing famed Arab hospitality plus all the glitz and glamor of Abu Dhabi’s neighbor Dubai, the aforementioned Wrights are not amongst them.

Days ago, Wright’s younger brother Mikey, receiver of multiple wildcards, lit into the WSL on Instagram, publicly declaring, “You have no business putting on an event at a location where my sister can be sentenced by law with the death penalty. So much for equality and equal rights, only when it’s convenient to wsl. You have supported the LGBTQ flag on her shoulder but now you want to strip it and be hush hush to get her to a location that she’s at risk of this punishment. You have the responsibility to protect your athletes, interested to see how you think you can protect her against the law.”

His wife later joined the fray, adding, “Nice to see you guys are factoring in the safety of the contestants lives when choosing locations.”

And now Tyler’s own wife has hopped on top of the pile-on. You certainly recall two-ish years ago when she and Lilli Baker tied the knot. “Not a dry eye in the house,” Derek Rielly wrote at the time.

Well, mad as hell, Lilli took the lash to the World Surf League, salvoing, “Unfortunately homosexuality is illegal at one of the locations and my wife can legally be sentenced to death or imprisonment if she tries to attend. Tyler has competed on this tour for over 14 years and has had the pride flag on her jersey since 2020. Even after winning two world titles she is still not valued enough by the WSL to be considered when they sold this event.”

Heavy but not finished as she tightened the screws with her finishing move, poking directly into the World Surf League’s DEI push, adding, “Tyler’s queerness should not have to be a burden or an obstacle in her workplace.”

Hammertown.

The Abu Dhabi Pro, scheduled Feb. 14 – 16 is right around the corner, with a squint. Do you think pressure from the greater Wright clan will force a cancelation or do you imagine all will continue as planned, Tyler maybe even winning with her patented backside attack?

More, certainly, as the story develops.

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I Hate Surfing so much!
I Hate Surfing so much! | Photo: Mark Wiesmayr/@marksurfsbig

Master surfer-ceramicist releases cult “I Hate Surfing” 70s-style ashtrays and truck-stop diner mugs

Show the world how much you hate surfing!

Several nights heretofore, the master surf-ceramicist Damion Fuller held court, surrounded by dozens of his elaborate creations, urns, plates and paintings, at the relaunch of a once down-at-heel beachside hotel now turned into the sort of lightly flamboyant joint a man would take his lover for meaningless and exhausting sexing deep under the influence of pills and liquor. 

Damion Fuller at Barrys Beach Road Hotel for Aloha Zen exhibition
Damion Fuller and part of his non I Hate Surfing range, on display at sexy Barrys Hotel in Bondi. Photo: Mark Wiesmayr/@marksurfsbig

Damion Fuller is a wildly regarded actor in the surf game.

He leveraged a degree in Industrial Design into a career that encompasses accumulating surfboards from the late seventies and early eighties (“They’re hydrodynamic, functional pieces of art”), building accessories for Mambo, back when it was the hub of the anti-surrealist art movement in the nineties, who then convinced his old boss at Mambo, Dare Jennings, to turn his next label Deus Ex Machina into a surf-moto brand in the spirit of Bruce Brown’s Endless Summer/On Any Sunday combo. 

After, he split for California, for a gig at Nixon, shifted back to Australia five years later for a job at Electric and, later, after he moved the fam to an off the grid farm on the north coast, created the label Aloha to Zen with his wife Fern. The pair make surf themed homewares, the pillows are wild, and spent three years learning the art of ceramics.

And it’s here Fuller has reached his zenith, I think, of beauty and creation. His calling. The urgent need to bring meaning to life and to resurrect a little gentility in surf culture. 

“There’s a lot that can go wrong in the pottery game,” says Fuller, his tongue darting in and out of his mouth, licking at his moustache like a pink lizard. “Which is why you love it, right, because it’s a completely uncontrollable medium. Once you apply heat to mud and chemicals anything can happen.

“And, as an industrial designer I love that. I love the fact it’s a combination of the chemicals and I love the three-dimensional form. It became the perfect vehicle for me to express my love of that golden era of surf culture. I’m just trying to really find a little voice in there that speaks to me.”

I tell Fuller that I was thrilled he was open to the idea of the I Hate Surfing capsule, which will also feature clothes from The Critical Slide Society. A follow-up to our I Don’t Need Life I’m High capsule.

An aside: TCSS owner Sam Coombes was drawn into the surf game after he heard Fuller speak at his university. Fuller told the class, please, no one ask for an internship at Mambo because the answer is NO! Coombes thought that was real cool, pestered Fuller for an internship and eventually got it.

Fuller has made an I Hate Surfing ashtray and an oversized mug.

I ask him to describe the process. 

“Well, the ashtray was easy. That’s called googling ‘Chunky Glass Seventies Ashtrays’. I knew very much as soon as you said I Hate Surfing but with a joyous edge, I knew what shape it was gonna look like. It had to belong in a sex den in a SoHo apartment in New York with carpeted walls. I immediately knew the size we wanted to do and it needed to have a big thick wall and it needed to really dominate your coffee table.

I Hate Surfing ashtray by Damion Fuller
I Hate Surfing seventies-style ashtray by Damion Fuller.

“So I played around with a few different shapes and methods of construction and in the end we’ve settled on a wheel-thrown piece. It’s about two kilos worth of clay to begin with. We throw that out and form it and fire it.” 

And the truck-stop diner mugs? 

“I knew I didn’t want a coffee cup. I knew we wanted a truck stop diner mug, something with a big handle that holds a proper 14 ounces of of percolated diner coffee or whiskey.” 

I Hate Surfing truck-stop mug.
Fourteen ounces to freedom, as they ol saying goes. Photo: Mark Wiesmayr/@marksurfsbig

We ain’t taking a cut of these beautiful creations to keep ‘em down to an affordable price and this link will take you straight to Fuller’s site.

Eighty-five apiece, Australian shekels.

He’ll pack and send ’em anywhere in the world. Free to ship in Australia, thirty-five dollars, Australian, to Europe and the US.

A little wait too ‘cause he’s gotta make ‘em at his little off-the-grid studio. 

So bespoke!

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Canada's best export Erin Brooks officially on tour.
Canada's best export Erin Brooks officially on tour.

Tears flow like poutine in Canada as beloved compatriot Erin Brooks officially qualifies for WSL Championship Tour!

The True North strong and free!

Canada, that great northern expanse, has not experienced this much tension, this much pure stress since 2001 when sitting prime minister Justin Trudeau attended an Arabian Nights themed party in… a questionable outfit. Anxiety to the max, eh. For, as of Friday, beloved first daughter, Erin Brooks, was sitting outside the World Surf League Championship Tour qualifications and staring down the barrel of a long Challenger Series year.

The maple leaf’d phenom has had the surf world on notice since first popping onto the scene some four years ago. The spotlight has only brightened, especially after her win at the Fiji Pro over the summer.

But there she was, anyhow, needing a result at the Saquarema Pro, down Brazil way, in order to move into her destiny.

Alas, all things broke Canada’s way on Sunday when Brooks won her round of 32 heat over Macy Callaghan, Minami Nonaka and Zoe Benedetto to make it all official.

Taking to the World Surf League’s social media organ, the 17-year-old penned, “Qualifying in Brazil in front of the best surf fans in the world is something I will never forget. Thank you so much to the WSL for this opportunity and also thank you to my family, friends, sponsors, coaches, trainers, and everyone who has been a part of my journey to this moment. It takes a team and I am so thankful for all of you. I still can’t believe I get to travel and compete with the world’s best surfers. Dreams do come true!!”

Do they ever. Tears flowing like poutine from Toronto to Vancouver. Now, would you please join me in song?

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all of us command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Thank you.

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Kelly Slater (left) and Jeremy Flores (right) pictured damaging the balance board's reputation. Photo: Instagram
Kelly Slater (left) and Jeremy Flores (right) pictured damaging the balance board's reputation. Photo: Instagram

Balance board surf training thrown into question after Kelly Slater and Jeremy Flores engage in high-stakes demonstration

"Proof this toys have 0 to do with actual surfing abilities."

The world’s greatest competitive surfer, Kelly Slater, is in no mood to slow down. Carrying an infinite pocket full of World Surf League wildcards and the debonair good looks of a much younger 57-year-old, the 11x world champion appears to have everything but needing more.

The Floridian icon has been jetting around Europe these past few weeks as part of his ambassadorship duties for luxury Swiss watch maker Breitling. He is, of course, part of the “Surfer Squad” which includes Stephanie Gilmore and the recently World Surf League Championship Tour re-qualified Sally Fitzgibbons. Slater was there, in Rome, to celebrate 140 years of Breitling and is now in Paris doing the same with Jeremy Flores.

The two are captured together in a store which just so happens to have a balance board. But you certainly recall when the Indo Board burst onto our surf scene. There were magazines, back then, and toward the back cover, quarter page ads featuring the oblong plywood shape and an accompanying cylinder. Balance board training promised to hone the surfer’s muscle instincts whilst he or she sat on land, waiting for the next big swell. Balance boarding could be done anywhere, you see, and most also came with a handy tote bag, if I recall correctly.

Back to Slater and Flores, though. As highly competitive people are wont to do, a challenge is laid out to see who can balance on the board longer. After light making fun of Australia’s Rachel “Raygun” Ray, the breakdancer who stole hearts during the Paris Games, Slater goes first, crouching into a cheater five before attempting a shove-it and coming undone. Flores, next, gets into pig dog stance after wobbling but comes undone even quicker.

At the end, they seem to agree to a draw, the loser appearing to be the balance board itself.

Now, neither surf champ looked entirely elegant whilst competing, leaving fans sour.

“Proof this toys have 0 to do with actual surfing abilities,” one wrote underneath the shared video.

“lol. My buddy ate shit so hard on one of these,” another added.

“Next vid: surf skating,” yet a third poked.

On the deluge went, those holding stock in Big Balance anxiously hoping the storm will pass.

Though now your turn. Do you practice the balance board at home? Has it improved your surfing? Would you recommend?

Very cool.

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Ian Cairns slams California Coastal Commission for putting politics before progress.
Ian Cairns gives hell to California Coastal Commission for putting politics before progress.

Hall of Fame surfer slams California officials for rejecting plan to allow Elon Musk to launch rockets from Central CA

“The California Coastal Commission puts the brakes on the future of space but allows nuclear waste 100 feet from the surf at San Onofre."

The hell-raising big-wave surfer Ian Cairns once chased a man into the traffic on the North Shore ready to disintegrate his foe and for a time there would slaughter any column of big waves that came his way.

Ian Cairns founded the modern version of professional surfing, long before it became a sideshow of longboarders in wave pools and world titles gifted to fragile little men in two-foot waves, and surfed with such force he once admitted, “I’ve got such a powerful bottom turn it’s berserk. It even surprises me sometimes.”

Ian Cairns’ political bent is skewed, I think it’s safe to say, slightly right.

So when the California Coastal Commission rejected Musk’s request for permission to launch fifty rockets a year from Vandenberg Air Force Base in Santa Barbara County, a sight that would bring joy to anyone who thrills to the spectacle of man triumphing over his god-give limitations because of Musk’s political views, he pointed out the obvious hypocrisy.

“The California Coastal Commission puts the brakes on the future of space but allows nuclear waste storage 100’ from the surf at San Onofre,” Cairns tweeted. “Make it make sense. Four more years!”

According to reporting by Politico,

“Commissioners raised concerns about Musk’s political rhetoric, slammed the company’s labor record and questioned DOD’s contention that the launches should benefit from military permitting exemptions even if military payloads aren’t being carried.”

“I really appreciate the work of the Space Force,” said Commission Chair Caryl Hart. “But here we’re dealing with a company, the head of which has aggressively injected himself into the presidential race and he’s managed a company in a way that was just described by Commissioner Newsom that I find to be very disturbing.”

Meanwhile, earlier today the BBC, which ain’t no fan of Musks’s, ran a breathless story describing the “astonishing moment Starship booster caught in mid-air ‘chopsticks’.”

Where do you stand on the Musk question?

Those of us leaning left will hate, I predict.

Those from the centre-left, centre, centre-right and on the actual right will laud the work of Musk, and correctly I think.

For his part, Musk just tweeted: “Incredibly inappropriate. What I post on this platform has nothing to do with a “coastal commission” in California! Filing suit against them on Monday for violating the First Amendment.”

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