Mikey Wright says his sister risks execution in the UAE and, inset, Tyler Wright and wife Lilli Baker on their wedding day a couple of years back.

Fears gay surf champ Tyler Wright may be “sentenced to death” at Abu Dhabi surf contest

By Derek Rielly

6 months ago

“You have no business putting on an event at a location where my sister can be sentenced by law with the death penalty."

The brother of two-time world champ Tyler Wright has launched a wild fusillade against the World Surf League after it added a surfing event to the 2025 world tour at a man-made wave park in Abu Dhabi, where Sharia law is incorporated into the legal system.

Sharia law, if you didn’t know, is the moral and religious code for the souls among us who practice Islam. It considers homosexual acts as sinful and punishable and recommends imprisonment, floggings or the death penalty, sometimes even adding a stoning into the mix for laughs. Note: stoning, the penalty for adultery, was discontinued in the UAE in 2020.

My Sharia Amour!

In the comments pane of the WSL’s own post detailing the new schedule, Mikey Wright, who is thirty-two, tees off:

“You have no business putting on an event at a location where my sister can be sentenced by law with the death penalty. So much for equality and equal rights, only when it’s convenient to wsl. You have supported the LGBTQ flag on her shoulder but now you want to strip it and be hush hush to get her to a location that she’s at risk of this punishment. You have the responsibility to protect your athletes, interested to see how you think you can protect her against the law.”

Tyler Wright’s sister-in-law, Shenay, Mikey’s wife, even has a swing:

“Nice to see you guys are factoring in the safety of the contestants lives when choosing locations.”

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A post shared by World Surf League (@wsl)

The pair have come in half-cocked, as it were, as, happily, there are no documented cases of executions in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) specifically for the crime of homosexuality.

And while the UAE’s legal system theoretically allows for capital punishment for same-sex sexual activity under certain interpretations, in practice, there have been no verified reports of such sentences being carried out.

This is supported by various human rights reports and indicates a gap between legal provisions and their actual enforcement in the UAE.

You might get one to fifteen in the can for being gay in the UAE, however.

It ain’t quite so sanguine in Iraq, Libya, Syria, Yemen and in Hamas-controlled Gaza, however, where the extra-judicial killings of gays is quite a thing. Queers for Palestine! Yay!

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Mick Fanning and his wonderful skate-infused house and, inset, discussing the merits of Zionism with Chas Smith while fan watches on.

Mick Fanning quietly lists redundant $4 million beach shack with skate ramp in living room!

By Derek Rielly

6 months ago

“A once in a lifetime opportunity is coming soon! Is this your divine timing?"

Only three years after spending three million dollars on a beachside masterpiece near Coolangatta airport and four hundred yards from the Gold Coast’s fifth best point, Mick Fanning has quietly listed the joint with hopes of four-mill plus.

The beach house at 5 Farrell Drive, Tugun, click if you want to examine photos of it, backs onto a bird sanctuary and was a hot target for buyers in an already over-heated market when Mick Fanning bought it. Three mill for a house a ten-minute walk from the beach? Five years ago, you’d be stretched to catch a buyer willing to shovel a million bucks at it.

These days, and so hot is the market, it’s gonna cost close to four bricks.

Gun agent Emisha Canning has listed the house for private auction with inspections beginning October 26.

From the agent’s selling spiel,

Divine timing awaits✨

A once in a lifetime opportunity is coming soon. A 1269m² land + home, in the coveted Currumbin Pocket—there’s nothing else here that exists similar! This unique space was made possible by a historic acquisition of additional land, enhancing the standard block size.

Explore a home that truly belongs, complete with fruit trees, edible gardens, and planter boxes—just a short walk to the beach, all situated on a prime capital growth street.

Is this your divine timing? ✨

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A post shared by Mishy Canning (@emishacanning_realestate)

Two years ago, Mick Fanning auctioned off a five day vacation in the house and raised almost twenty gees for people ruined by floods.

As Emisha Canning said at the time,

“He was out there in the community and was on the water meeting everyone and was really affected by their stories,” Canning said. “When you’re on the ground seeing how people are affected it’s pretty emotionally daunting. He (Mick Fanning) and his wife have been working non-stop to raise money for the families.”

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Bethany Hamilton writes: "HELP‼️ My precious nephew was medivaced to kapiolani in Oahu this morning after drowning last night."

Surf icon Bethany Hamilton pleads for help finding miracle doctor after nephew medivaced to Oahu following drowning episode

By Derek Rielly

6 months ago

“He still has a heartbeat and has fight in him. We are wrecked.”

Shark attack survivor Bethany Hamilton, one of the toughest gals alive, has pleaded for help finding a “miracle” doctor after her nephew was medivaced from Maui to Oahu following a drowning episode yesterday.

In a post to her 2.4 million followers Hamilton wrote:

HELP‼️ My precious nephew was medivaced to kapiolani in Oahu this morning after drowning last night. He still has a heartbeat and has fight in him.
We are wrecked. But I know how proper medical support can make or break someone’s chance of survival and in this case we’re asking for help from anyone who has information of what we can do to give my nephew the best chance.

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of the

A post shared by Bethany Hamilton (@bethanyhamilton)

It was quickly updated after a follower got Hamilton in touch with a world-renowned doctor famous for his work in hyperbaric medicine, and who is particularly noted for his case study involving a toddler who suffered brain damage due to drowning.

Update we got ahold of Dr Paul Harch help save my nephew and educate doctors in Hawai’i. @harch.hbot

PLEASE ONLY MESSAGE MY BROTHER if you have timely information on other treatments to look into @noahhamiltonphoto my brother Noah’s cell is +1 (808) 652-7667

Please pray. THANK YOU!

Doc Harch preaches Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) which involves the patient breathing pure oxygen in a pressurised chamber. This therapy aims to increase the amount of oxygen dissolved in the bloodstream, potentially aiding in the healing of various tissues, including brain tissue.

Following the treatment of the drowned toddler, there was reported to be a significant reversal of brain damage, as evidenced by MRI scans showing a “near-complete reversal” of brain atrophy. This case was highlighted for its potential implications on treating brain injuries, though it sparked skepticism and debate within the medical community.

That case, along with Dr. Harch’s advocacy for HBOT, has been both celebrated for pushing boundaries in medical treatment and criticized for potentially giving false hope or misleading claims about the capabilities of HBOT in reversing brain damage.

But, goddamn, what else are you gonna do? I learned real early on that without someone to advocate for you in hospital, you’re gonna end up on a cold slab real quick.

Here’s hoping for the kid.

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The victim. Photo: Fish and Wildlife

Orange County surfers put on detective hats after reward offered for fatally shot sea lion

By Chas Smith

6 months ago

"California sea lions are a conservation success because the population has rebounded from the days when they were shot for bounties.”

Now Orange County, California is known for many things including, but not limited to, burritos, freeways, open air malls though not generally intuitive thinking. All that is set to change, though, with the arrival of a fatally shot sea lion. The two-year-old li’l buddy washed up at Bolsa Chica, just north of Huntington with a bullet lodged in its back. It was rushed to the Pacific Marine Mammal Center in Laguna but died there from its injuries.

While sea lions are everywhere, they are still protected under the Marine Mammal Protection Act making it illegal to harass or kill them. Fines can soar to over $30,000 plus a year in jail.

Harsh.

Federal officials want to know, anyhow, who pulled the trigger in the above case and are offering a $20,000 reward for information.

Surfers, thus, swapping out foam baseball caps for detective-esque fedoras.

$20,000 can buy many things in Orange County including, but not limited to, burritos.

More as the story develops.

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I get a little OD, but ain't shit new to a freak Let me drop bands, put a jewel in ya teeth He love the way I drip, turn that pool to the beach

“Incredibly horny” rapper Doja Cat spotted surfing with man dubbed “Human Viagra” at Kelly Slater wave pool

By Derek Rielly

6 months ago

"You want a good girl that does bad things to you. You never been with no one as nasty as me…"

There are no words left in the English language to describe the joy Tahitian heart-throb Raimana Van Bastolaer brings to his retinue of celebrity clients who arrive at the Kelly Slater wave pool in a quest to get their first barrel.

Raimana will surf behind the beginner at the Kelly Slater pool, steadying them with his hands, issuing instructions, support, and as the wave moves onto the shallow part of the bank at Surf Ranch will compress their hips into the correct lowered stance before pin-dropping off the wave allowing the learner to enjoy a vision that used to be reserved for a wildly select few.

The supermodel Cindy Crawford, whose career peaked in 1987 when she appeared alongside the other OG supermods Christy Turlington, Linda Evangalista and Naomi Campbell on British Vogue, has previously described Raimana as “the Big Blue Pill. He can get anyone up! Even me!”

Recently, Ivanka Trump, the statuesque forty-two-year-old daughter of Donald and Ivana Trump (RIP), and whom you last saw on these pages when she savaged “violent, manipulating” windsurfers on a Lex Fridman podcast, fell under the spell of Raimana during a recent trip to the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch.

And, Ivanka and Cindy C ain’t alone in wanting a piece of Tahiti’s hottest.

Yesterday, Raimana deftly hoisted the LA singer Amala Ratna Zandile Dlamini aka Doja Cat, into her first barrel, sacrificing himself to get his charge into a barrel that, however you slice it, is pretty legit and better than most of the duds the surf journalist gang got when I was there.

Doja Cat came onto my radar late in life, when she did that cute duet with Post Malone, I Like You (A Happier Song), hitting all buttons with the verse.

Let me know when you’re free
’Cause I been tryna hit it all week, babe
Why you actin’ all sweet?
I know that you want little ol’ me
I get a little OD, but ain’t shit new to a freak
Let me drop bands, put a jewel in ya teeth
He love the way I drip, turn that pool to the beach

Those lines, according to Genius Lyrics, emphasise Doja Cat is “incredibly horny and metaphorically overdoses on her sexual desires.”

Genius adds,

The rapper has laid claim to being a “freak” since the start of her career. On her 2018 track “Freak,” she sings about being a “freak” when it comes to her sexual preferences:

Freak like me
You want a good girl that does bad things to you
You never been with no one as nasty as me
Spice up your life, come get a freak

In February 2022, she released a collaboration with Tyga called “Freaky Deaky,” in which she once again discusses her sexual desires.

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Eat beach grit spam!