“Incredibly horny” rapper Doja Cat spotted surfing with man dubbed “Human Viagra” at Kelly Slater wave pool

"You want a good girl that does bad things to you. You never been with no one as nasty as me…"

There are no words left in the English language to describe the joy Tahitian heart-throb Raimana Van Bastolaer brings to his retinue of celebrity clients who arrive at the Kelly Slater wave pool in a quest to get their first barrel.

Raimana will surf behind the beginner at the Kelly Slater pool, steadying them with his hands, issuing instructions, support, and as the wave moves onto the shallow part of the bank at Surf Ranch will compress their hips into the correct lowered stance before pin-dropping off the wave allowing the learner to enjoy a vision that used to be reserved for a wildly select few.

The supermodel Cindy Crawford, whose career peaked in 1987 when she appeared alongside the other OG supermods Christy Turlington, Linda Evangalista and Naomi Campbell on British Vogue, has previously described Raimana as “the Big Blue Pill. He can get anyone up! Even me!”

Recently, Ivanka Trump, the statuesque forty-two-year-old daughter of Donald and Ivana Trump (RIP), and whom you last saw on these pages when she savaged “violent, manipulating” windsurfers on a Lex Fridman podcast, fell under the spell of Raimana during a recent trip to the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch.

And, Ivanka and Cindy C ain’t alone in wanting a piece of Tahiti’s hottest.

Yesterday, Raimana deftly hoisted the LA singer Amala Ratna Zandile Dlamini aka Doja Cat, into her first barrel, sacrificing himself to get his charge into a barrel that, however you slice it, is pretty legit and better than most of the duds the surf journalist gang got when I was there.

Doja Cat came onto my radar late in life, when she did that cute duet with Post Malone, I Like You (A Happier Song), hitting all buttons with the verse.

Let me know when you’re free
’Cause I been tryna hit it all week, babe
Why you actin’ all sweet?
I know that you want little ol’ me
I get a little OD, but ain’t shit new to a freak
Let me drop bands, put a jewel in ya teeth
He love the way I drip, turn that pool to the beach 

Those lines, according to Genius Lyrics, emphasise Doja Cat is “incredibly horny and metaphorically overdoses on her sexual desires.”

Genius adds,

The rapper has laid claim to being a “freak” since the start of her career. On her 2018 track “Freak,” she sings about being a “freak” when it comes to her sexual preferences:

Freak like me
You want a good girl that does bad things to you
You never been with no one as nasty as me
Spice up your life, come get a freak

In February 2022, she released a collaboration with Tyga called “Freaky Deaky,” in which she once again discusses her sexual desires.

 

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