Orange County surfers put on detective hats
after reward offered for fatally shot sea lion
By Chas Smith
"California sea lions are a conservation success
because the population has rebounded from the days when they were
shot for bounties.”
Now Orange County, California is known for many
things including, but not limited to, burritos, freeways, open air
malls though not generally intuitive thinking. All that is set to
change, though, with the arrival of a fatally shot sea lion. The
two-year-old li’l buddy washed up at Bolsa Chica, just north of
Huntington with a bullet lodged in its back. It was rushed to the
Pacific Marine Mammal Center in Laguna but died there from its
injuries.
While sea lions are everywhere, they are still protected under
the Marine Mammal Protection Act making it illegal to harass or
kill them. Fines can soar to over $30,000 plus a year in jail.
Harsh.
Federal officials want to know, anyhow, who pulled the trigger
in the above case and are offering a $20,000 reward for
information.
Surfers, thus, swapping out foam baseball caps for
detective-esque fedoras.
$20,000 can buy many things in Orange County including, but not
limited to, burritos.
More as the story develops.
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I get a little OD, but ain't shit new to a freak Let me
drop bands, put a jewel in ya teeth He love the way I drip, turn
that pool to the beach
“Incredibly horny” rapper Doja Cat spotted
surfing with man dubbed “Human Viagra” at Kelly Slater wave
pool
By Derek Rielly
"You want a good girl that does bad things to you.
You never been with no one as nasty as me…"
There are no words left in the English language to
describe the joy Tahitian heart-throb Raimana Van Bastolaer brings
to his retinue of celebrity clients who arrive at the
Kelly Slater wave pool in a quest to get their first barrel.
Raimana will surf behind the beginner at the Kelly Slater pool,
steadying them with his hands, issuing instructions, support, and
as the wave moves onto the shallow part of the bank at Surf Ranch
will compress their hips into the correct lowered stance before
pin-dropping off the wave allowing the learner to enjoy a vision
that used to be reserved for a wildly select few.
And, Ivanka and Cindy C ain’t alone in wanting a piece of
Tahiti’s hottest.
Yesterday, Raimana deftly hoisted the LA singer Amala Ratna
Zandile Dlamini aka Doja Cat, into her first barrel, sacrificing
himself to get his charge into a barrel that, however you slice it,
is pretty legit and better than most of the duds the surf
journalist gang got when I was there.
Let me know when you’re free ’Cause I been tryna hit it all week, babe Why you actin’ all sweet? I know that you want little ol’ me I get a little OD, but ain’t shit new to a freak Let me drop bands, put a jewel in ya teeth He love the way I drip, turn that pool to the
beach
Those lines, according to Genius
Lyrics, emphasise Doja Cat is “incredibly horny and metaphorically overdoses
on her sexual desires.”
Genius adds,
The rapper has laid claim to being a “freak” since the start
of her career. On her 2018 track “Freak,” she sings about being a
“freak” when it comes to her sexual preferences:
Freak like me You want a good girl that does bad things to you You never been with no one as nasty as me Spice up your life, come get a freak
In February 2022, she released a collaboration with Tyga
called “Freaky Deaky,” in which she once again discusses her sexual
desires.
Rio Waida (left) not at the beach. Photo:
Instagram
Worry grows in Indonesia after nation’s
most successful surfer discovers joys of alpine living
By Chas Smith
"Switzerland is the number 1 place I've ever
seen..."
The ink on the freshly released ’25 World Surf
League Championship Tour schedule is not yet dry and yet a proud
surfing nation already finds itself very worried. Yes, Indonesia,
which has long been a must-visit location for surfers, has produced
its most successful one ever in Rio Waida. The universally adored
spark plug is adept in all conditions, brave, and ended the ’24
season ranked 9th in the world.
Hopes and dreams of a possible title dancing in Batavian
heads.
Except, as mentioned, worry is currently the pervading emotion
for Waida, you see, has left the palm-fringed shores and is
currently bathed in alpenglow.
The Olympics’ own
organ published a feature, overnight, detailing how
five-ringed surfers were spending their off time. Medina went to
Bali, Billy Stairmand to the Maldives. Waida? He traveled to
Switzerland and appeared to fall in love.
“The nature here in Switzerland is on another level, felt like
I’m in the heaven and felt like I’m in the dream,” the twice-over
Olympian wrote on Instagram. “It’s so
beautiful, the most beautiful place I ever seen. I mean it’s hard
to compare with ocean and beach but this place might be my number 1
place that I visited. The reason I came here is because I wanted to
do something that I love to do, which is hiking, see the nature,
see the beauty of this world, and be at somewhere there’s nobody
and listen to the sound of the nature. And inhale beautiful fresh
air and exhale all the bad stuff.”
Number 1 place ever seen?
A snowboarding future just over the Matterhornian peak?
David Lee Scales and I did not discuss Waida’s love of
Switzerland, during our weekly chat, but did discuss the revamped
tour and what it means. I think you’ll find it extremely
informative.
Enjoy.
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“What ensues is an adventure turned survival
story of epic and bloody proportions on a tropical island which
once seemed to be paradise but is actually closer to hell.”
Kevin Costner set to recreate 1995 bomb
Waterworld after inking deal for surf-horror film set in Bali
By Derek Rielly
“This is one of the best scripts I have seen in my
career. Kevin is a legendary actor who brings so much depth and
charisma…”
Almost thirty years after briefly sinking his career with the
1995 stinker Waterworld where he playeda mutated human with
gill-like structures and webbed feet, capable of surviving in the
post-apocalyptic, water-covered Earth, Kevin Costner will have
another swing at an oceanic epic next year with a surf horror film set in
Bali.
“What ensues is an adventure turned survival story of epic and
bloody proportions on a tropical island which once seemed to be
paradise but is actually closer to hell.”
Kevin Costner has joined up with Scott Steindorff and his Stone
Village Films to bring the Headhunters to life.
“For decades, my friend Kevin Costner and I have been searching
for the right project to collaborate on,” Steindorff said. “This is
one of the best scripts I have seen in my career. Kevin is a
legendary actor who brings so much depth and charisma to his roles,
and has written an iconic horror script with Steve.”
Sounds like it has a shot at the worst movie ever made, don’t
it?
Or does that crown forever belong on the head of the 2016 remake
of Ghostbusters?
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Kelly Slater’s least favorite wave replaced
by his new Abu Dhabi surf tank on just-released WSL Championship
Tour schedule
By Chas Smith
The most fossil fuel hungry tour ever!
The fabled second jewel of surfing’s Triple
Crown has been erased from the World Surf League
Championship Tour for the upcoming 2025 season. Sunset Beach, there
on Oahu’s North Shore, no more. It is being replaced by Kelly
Slater’s sparkling Abu Dhabi surf tank leading surf thinkers to
wonder if, perhaps, the greatest competitive surfer of all time
wanted to stab his least favorite wave in the heart as he is forced
into retirement.
Slater’s disdain for Sunset very public over the years.
The tour will begin at Pipeline before burning excessive jet
fuel to fly all the way to the United Arab Emirates. From there, it
will fly halfway around the world, again, to Portugal followed by
more jet fuel to El Salvador, even more to Bells, where it will
finally conserve energy by plunking down for Snapper and Margaret.
After the cut, Lowers, Saquarema, J-Bay, Teahupo’o will close out
the regular calendar, with Finals Day being hosted at
Cloudbreak.
In other words:
Stop No. 1 – Banzai Pipeline, Hawaii, USA: January 27 – February
8
Stop No. 2 – Surf Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi, UAE: February 14 – 16
Stop No. 3 – Peniche, Portugal: March 15 – 25
Stop No. 4 – Punta Roca, El Salvador: April 2 – 12
Stop No. 5 – Bells Beach, Victoria, Australia: April 18 – 28
Stop No. 6 – Snapper Rocks, Queensland, Australia: May 3 – 13
Stop No. 7 – Margaret River, Western Australia, Australia: May 17 –
27*
Stop No. 8 – Lower Trestles, San Clemente, Calif., USA: June 9 –
17
Stop No. 9 – Saquarema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: June 21 – 29
Stop No. 10 – Jeffreys Bay, South Africa: July 11 – 20
Stop No. 11 – Teahupo’o, Tahiti, French Polynesia: August 7 –
16**
Stop No. 12 – WSL Finals – Cloudbreak, Fiji: August 27 – September
4
Or for the semi-illiterate:
Certainly the most gas-gobbling tour ever.
Coincidence?
The World Surf League’s media-shy CEO declared, “We’ve built
this schedule to include more events and feature a variety of
breaks. We’ve brought back some of the Tour’s most desirable
locations, while aligning dates with favorable swell windows, to
open up more opportunity for quality surf. We’ll see a great mix of
locations from heavy-water barrels, to high-performance waves, and
pristine point breaks. It’ll be an exciting showcase of the world’s
best surfing featuring the incredible CT talent. We can’t wait to
kick off in January 2025. See you at Pipe.”
