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Bethany Hamilton at world's most dangerous wave. Photo: WSL/Heff
Bethany Hamilton at world's most dangerous wave. Photo: WSL/Heff

Toughest ever surfer Bethany Hamilton torches premium surf blog for going “so soft”

"Stab has lost its og raw vibe."

Like her or love her, it is impossible to characterize Kauai’s Bethany Hamilton as anything but the toughest surfer who ever paddled the high seas. Her story is, of course, the stuff of legend. Up an coming star, thirteen years old and going for a surf at Tunnels, a tiger shark stole her arm. Now, most would have curled up and called it a day, but Hamilton fought back, hopping back into the brine and dropping jaws with an unmatched style, an elan, absolutely impossible to ignore.

A miracle.

And so, of course, when she speaks, we listen and she has just spoken, dropping an absolute hammer on the premium surf blog Stab Magazine. Stab has certainly had a dramatic shift over the years, transitioning from a devil-may-care rebel yell that once printed a comic of Kelly Slater deemed so offensive that Quiksilver pulled years’ worth of ads into a monument to institutional hurt feelings.

Thin skinned, paternal, passive-aggressive.

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Much sense, then, when Hamilton took to Stab’s own Instagram to declare, “Stab has lost its og raw vibe. So soft. Who’s running it now?”

The statement and question appearing underneath a slide directing to a premium story titled “The world’s most overrated waves for mere mortals.”

While some Stab fanbois defended the paywalled website, calling her a “boomer” and cheap etc. many agreed with the mother of four.

Bethany Hamilton wants more sex, drugs and rock and roll,” one opined. “Liberals that live in constant fear,” another suggested as to the question “who’s running it now?”

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“Soy boys” a third simply penned.

“LadyBOYS transgenders,” a fourth clarified.

Etc.

Do you have thoughts on the matter?

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Team Beth or Team Sam?

More as the story develops.

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NEGATRON

Lost me when I got emailed dinner pics.

Rocks local

I like him, positives outweigh anything else.

Rocks local

dead horse by now, but the editorial over there can be rough, seems like they’re increasingly trying to mimic you and Chas and DR and JP but it’s a pretty poor facsimile

Rocks local

just imagine some idiot things VAL VC types might say to a woman in the lineup, extrapolate that to pro women surfers, and then add a layer of sanctimony about how it represents all men (layer added by stab, mainly).

Rocks local

needs to finish his veggies

Disco

Appreciated, especially from a connoisseur of one-armed strippers.
That chick/club sounds so fun btw, must have some good memories.

Occ Topus

Aha… I thought k55 seemed familiar. Ben will no doubt darken BGs doorstep again in due course. Cavy from when you, Wiggs, and I were on Stab. What … 10 years ago?

Sellme fitzgobbins

So is she married to Laird or his sister? Confusing

Sean Connery

I couldn’t get past Flicks survivor condom trick….it was supposed to be funny…. But not that funny

Tom House

I mean the story references anal sex in the subhed

Sean Connery

Lol

Simcha

It Bethany soft ?

Chief Hot stuff

Shes an army of one!!

ValiantScorn

Bucket list mark off*

Chas Smith

Nutcracker season here I come!

Chas Smith

Ol’ Jack Black lost me when he pushed his bandmate under the bus.

ValiantScorn

zero talent! Shouldn’t even know who they are, unless you stock a buffet….

Rocks local

that was brutal, what bs

Nikola

She’s been in a tenacity mode since age thirteen. She reacted well to the tough cards life threw to her, figured things out, and has made a full life for herself since.

Respect. She’s earned it and deserves it.

Otto

Dyslexic: “Bats shit guano!”

Ahi

Team Beth all the way!!….. Lets goooooo!!… Once you fight a Tiger shark, the bullying comes with it….. Go Beth!!

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

Anyone have a link to the aforementioned comic that so pissed Quik? Hopefully more entertaining than what’s comng our way for the next 4 months.

Actually, Chas, why don’t you and DR offer Goggans a job? Tell him 10 articles at $100 an article and see what happens. I’ll flick around down here a few more times than normal to help pay for it.

Rocks local

time to bring back DSS

Occ Topus

…along with Sam, Ben, and Caveira.

Occ Topus

Chas is too chicken to post it, probably. 🐔

Chas Smith

I’m gonna meet you in a dark alley someday and stroke your beard.

Occ Topus

An enticing offer. 😆
However, I have no beard.

Chas Smith

Damn it. Can you grow one?

Disco

I’ve got it at home. I’ll flick it thru tonight if I can get the pages apart. It has Slater rooting Pammy.

Disco

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
My bad it was Tommy Lee doing the motorboat. No wonder Slats was upset!


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