“Weightless, effortless, beautiful surfing.”
Under a fat orange Californian sun and with the National Weather Service issuing a heat advisory recommending citizens stay indoors and under the vents of their air-conditioning units, the teenager Caity Simmers has beaten Caroline Marks to become world champ at Lower Trestles in San Clemente.
At eighteen years and 316 days Caity Simmers has become the youngest world surfing champ in history, beating Carissa Moore and her 2011 world title by just six days.
In a best-of-three heat showdown, Caroline won the first heat by leveraging her backsider’s advantage of being able to surf tighter and more dramatically on the mostly right-breaking waves.
Then…oh then… lil Caity, as freckled as a baby Scot raised in Hawaii, took every turn to the brink of disaster to dominate heats two and three and thereby take the crown, tiara, whatever you want to call it.
The commentator Flick Palmateer described Caity’s approach as “weightless, effortless, beautiful surfing.”
“You can’t peg her though,” said Rosie.
More thrilled was the WSL personalty Attack Dog Tits Strider Wasilewski in the channel, “I’m buzzing! I’m floating! Unpredictable radical surfing with that old school flair. I am completely entertained!”
Commentators even compared her surfing to the sixty-year-old star of Free Scrubber Tom Curren.
Style, flow etc.
Incredibly, after only scoring four excellent waves (eight or better) through the regular season, Caity Simmers delivered five over the three heats.
“That fucking girl wins everything,” grinned Caity, thrilled to beat her competitor Caroline Marks, who only rode one wave in the deciding heat.
Full report from our gal in the red bikini Jen See soon-ish. Or tomoz. A gal gotta eat ice cream etc.
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that it is
Even the chief spokesperson for DOJ in NY knows it’s all BS
https://x.com/scrowder/stat…
He’s not going to jail. You know that.
Can you imagine Obama and Cheney hugging it out on stage at a Harris rally.
Dick is just concerned about what Trump will do to Liz if he’s elected. Her BS on the J6 Committee where she withheld evidence, destroyed evidence and lied her ass oft. She should be afraid of Trump. He’ll get his revenge.
Wait, did Rosie try to peg Caity? Hopefully this develops more!!?!
how incompetent is the wsl? soooo embarrassing!
episiotomy of a clip. – slomorrific JJF gaping snatch / snapping gash 👑 *How to pick up the soap
“Is that really moss? Or is that just like something green…”
Rolf Aurness was 18 years and 86 days old when he won.
Aye Warshaw said in the chat that Margo Godfrey (Oberg) won the title at 15
Good catch. 15 years, 67 days.
She has some serious JJF in her surfing and that’s a good thing , Steff TW TTWB Bronte SFG might just as well retire right now , they look old and slow their surfing is not state of the art anymore.
Worked ruined my plan to watch more of both finals. I hope the replay is on the WSL site
So fucking killer hey
Surprising to see Rosie lowering the tone.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Or is it a veiled ELo reference ?
No a reference to the worst kept secret in the wsl house , MJD and FuckPalmater doing the wild thing.
Hurry, HURRY!!!!
The crowd on the beach seemed much smaller this year.
What about Margo Oberg winning the world champs in 1968 at age 15 ?
Different era and format, but a world champ none the less, and younger.
(there’s talk of a protest march to get her properly acknowledged by the wsl)
Chas and derek don’t know anything about surfing pre 1992.
Does this mean that I need to change my handle to Taity Cimmers now that we finally have a new California world champ?
I say NOT as she seems undeserving of the mockery the filthy heathens fling around in these comments.
you’re not wrong. Caity isn’t the women’s champ that we deserve, but she is the women’s champ that we need.
Well said. Your prose is deserving of a greater audience!
why?
Do we need one though?
If it means the Surfline Public Affairs team change theirs to Taity Cimmers’ Penis, I’d say go for it…
What about Toel Judor?
Lovely guy and seems to b able to walk with his head up his butt at the same time
Probably. And speaking of name changes… given a political meme trending in the US, I perhaps, should also change mine.
What are you waiting for?
because evidently, I have a fan club now. Weird, right?
It’s probably Cunty kunTard.
modus operandi
I love you too, Otto
Mask
This is great. Even greater than Dick Cheney endorsing Harris.
All just leading up to the Taylor Swift endorsement. She is a kingmaker.
She sure knows how to make NFL football less about NFL football
and that inures to benefit of the NFL more than it inures to the benefit of Taylor Swift.
“Rampant CTE among our retired players? Nothing to see here. Wait, is that Taylor Swift?!!! Is Travis Kelce going to propose to her!???”
Maybe your vagina gal pal can wear that denim outfit Taylor rocked last night
oh, that would be so hot🥰🥰🥰
I wonder if her cameltoe is similar to Sasha’s
Not sure whether to upvote or downvote!
I’d downvote as it is an infantile and inappropriate post.
what a dick!
conflicted?
When I worked for Halliburton I used to get emails from Cheney. I mean they were cc’d to the whole company but still…
He had a tendency to pepper people with all sorts of things …. email, bird shot….
Haha who needs enemies when you got friends like him!
You going to protest at Arlington about it?
I think Trump may have to report it as an in kind campaign contribution.
Democrats went from declaring Cheney a war criminal to getting giddy about this.