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Laird Hamilton, jacked.
Jacked-as-hell Laird Hamilton and X user Eric.

Surf fans rush to defend world’s sexiest over-60 Laird Hamilton after savage daylight attack by “soy boy”

“Dumbest actual sh*t Ive come across on Twitter all year.” 

Last month, the surf star Laird Hamilton, this giant whose truly imposing size is dramatised by his excessively broad shoulders, came out and said what a surprising number of high-profile surfers and even your ol pal DR believe, that sunscreen ain’t so great. 

“If there’s no sun, there’s no life. I solar gaze, I’m into solar gazing. I go early in the morning, when I can, and watch the sun. It affects my whole system. I don’t use sunscreen, never have used sunscreen. I’m not a big fan of sunscreen because it’s stopping my ability to absorb the sun,” said Laird.

Laird described the effects of sun exposure as being very similar to reading BeachGrit, ie, anti-depressive. At the Jewish rehab centre whose facilities I was enjoying yesterday, I was given a lecture about the importance of vitamin D and the importance of getting out in the sun and how a surprising number of people have a vitamin D deficiency ’cause of using too much sunscreen, hanging indoors too much. (The education program is compulsory, part of medical insurance.) I flaunted my crocodile skin and told ‘em I was pretty sure I’m ok. 

Earlier today my attention was drawn to an attack on Laird Hamilton by the X user Eric. SERP Insider who referred to Laird’s position as the, “Dumbest actual shit Ive come across on Twitter all year.” 

Oh 

The throwaway line drew a torrent of fury from Laird’s fans, the sort of anger usually only seen in a peasant who finds an intruder among his grape vines. Classic thing is, they get Eric’s position on the matter totally wrong.

Eric don’t like sunscreen either but finds starting at the sun a little dumb.

Much entertainment.

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23 Comments
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Brutus

ah fuck it….I have worn sunscreen twice in my life in the NW of Australia…and both times got it on my board and when I went to stand up , hands slipped on the rail, nearly broke my nose….sunscreen dangerous shit!!!

PRN

The sun is healthy. Seed oils within are drawn out from the sun and cause skin cancer. Gazing at the sun in the AM breaks down calcification of the pineal gland. Fluoride causes said calcification. Eating fat from meat and as much eggs as you can is good – our brains crave cholesterol. The government loves you and has an awesome plan for your life.

Sean Connery

I wear sunscreen because I don’t want my dermatologist to go all Edward scissor hands on my face when I am 60.

AI (for ever) .

Attn daz-

https://www.realestate.com.au/news/former-surfing-queensland-ceo-adam-yates-selling-beach-cottage/?campaignType=external&campaignChannel=syndication&campaignName=ncacont&campaignContent=&campaignSource=gold_coast_bulletin&campaignPlacement=spa

Got to offload all those assets before bloody court ?

Btw am I the only one who finds cote underdressing in the Beachgrit blog very unsettling?

Isn’t that why they sacked Elo?

bob

Back for the finals mate? How have the waves been in Barcelona?

justiceminister

One is a legend of surf culture for nearly as long as I have been alive. The other looks like a script writer for Kamala Harris.

Captain Bee Fart

You got me with ‘Jewish Rehab’. Are the Jews rehabbing you from an injury and/or substance abuse, or are you weaning yourself off the Jews via some sot of formalised programme?

Com Turren's vagina

Can we start getting updates from the social media accounts of Ben Shapiro and Alex Jones too?

it would really excite the wonderful people of beachgrit.

Nonagon_Infinity

Laird Hamilton, wave hog true,
Sun gazing, spirit anew.
No chemicals, just sun’s warm light,
Blood attracts sharks, but he’s in the right.

Moon cycles guide menstrual tides’ sway,
Laird’s in harmony, every day.
Twitter trolls mock, but devotees defend,
Sun’s essence in him, a coffee creamer trend.

Sunlight shines bright, entering his soul,
exits his asshole, radiating, illuminating us all..

Gil Gunderson

Thank you for your dedication to go full dump on that convo, Dez. The dribble I never knew I needed to read this avo! Ahhhhh humanity.

Gil Gunderson

And can I add, ‘go lift a weight pussy’ is sensational. For far too long, obese felines have been neglected in the lifting department.

Ramathorn

That one got me. Almost made it worth reading them all

Gil Gunderson

Chefs.
Kiss.

Com Turren's vagina

Do the “journalists” at beachgrit realize that these social media profiles are public and we can ALL view them if we really want to? And the “authors” can even type up all their opinions about the latest idiotic post, right there below the post itself and you don’t even need to create a brand new web page with screenshots of it!

what a world we live in!

Occ Topus

Maybe Laird can state his anti-sunscreen stance to the families of my friends who’ve died from melanoma. Laird, fuck you.

Com Turren

Refusing to vaccinate your kids for anything whatsoever = broke

Refusing to put sunscreen on your kids = woke

Com Turren's vagina

Refusing to educate yourself about anything whatsoever before yapping to your fellow Chihuahuas = beachgrit

bob

What was the tipping point? I’m interested in knowing what makes a person create a specific profile to troll one user in such an obscure part of the internet as this?

pipspuss

Commy T probably dropped in on him

Sean Connery

My guess is its Cheyne Magnussen. Got tired of his incessant emails about getting his PSSC refund.

deeks

Same . Interesting for sure…but this joint obscure ? As mainstream as the herald sun
Just different animals

NEGATRON

These types usually claim to be “trolling” others but generally get the most but-hurt and have the biggest cry time sessions when the credits roll.

NEGATRON

Says the guy yapping on continuously about said Chihuahua’s.


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