Ian Cairns gives hell to California Coastal Commission for putting politics before progress.

Hall of Fame surfer slams California officials for rejecting plan to allow Elon Musk to launch rockets from Central CA

By Derek Rielly

5 months ago

“The California Coastal Commission puts the brakes on the future of space but allows nuclear waste 100 feet from the surf at San Onofre."

The hell-raising big-wave surfer Ian Cairns once chased a man into the traffic on the North Shore ready to disintegrate his foe and for a time there would slaughter any column of big waves that came his way.

Ian Cairns founded the modern version of professional surfing, long before it became a sideshow of longboarders in wave pools and world titles gifted to fragile little men in two-foot waves, and surfed with such force he once admitted, “I’ve got such a powerful bottom turn it’s berserk. It even surprises me sometimes.”

Ian Cairns’ political bent is skewed, I think it’s safe to say, slightly right.

So when the California Coastal Commission rejected Musk’s request for permission to launch fifty rockets a year from Vandenberg Air Force Base in Santa Barbara County, a sight that would bring joy to anyone who thrills to the spectacle of man triumphing over his god-give limitations because of Musk’s political views, he pointed out the obvious hypocrisy.

“The California Coastal Commission puts the brakes on the future of space but allows nuclear waste storage 100’ from the surf at San Onofre,” Cairns tweeted. “Make it make sense. Four more years!”

According to reporting by Politico,

“Commissioners raised concerns about Musk’s political rhetoric, slammed the company’s labor record and questioned DOD’s contention that the launches should benefit from military permitting exemptions even if military payloads aren’t being carried.”

“I really appreciate the work of the Space Force,” said Commission Chair Caryl Hart. “But here we’re dealing with a company, the head of which has aggressively injected himself into the presidential race and he’s managed a company in a way that was just described by Commissioner Newsom that I find to be very disturbing.”

Meanwhile, earlier today the BBC, which ain’t no fan of Musks’s, ran a breathless story describing the “astonishing moment Starship booster caught in mid-air ‘chopsticks’.”

Where do you stand on the Musk question?

Those of us leaning left will hate, I predict.

Those from the centre-left, centre, centre-right and on the actual right will laud the work of Musk, and correctly I think.

For his part, Musk just tweeted: “Incredibly inappropriate. What I post on this platform has nothing to do with a “coastal commission” in California! Filing suit against them on Monday for violating the First Amendment.”

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Nicolas Cage (pictured) saving surf slang.

“Eat the rat” trends as first new surfer slang in decades thanks to star power of Nicolas Cage

By Chas Smith

5 months ago

The Surfer for the win.

There was once a time when surfers had a corner on the “cool slang” market. Words and phrases like “Cowabunga” or “totally tubular” were staples in every rad kid’s vocabulary. Surfers maybe taking for granted our linguistic monopoly. Alas, we were caught flatfooted by the fast-moving internet culture and now are buried underneath a pile of TikTok inspired “skibidies” and “alphas” and “sigmas,” “auras” and “bibiddybobbdies.”

Decidedly not surf.

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Nicolas Cage is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she.

Yes, per reports, a new bit of surf slang is trending all thanks to Guarding Tess star from his highly-anticipated new film The Surfer.

And you have certainly been salivating over the Lorcan Finnegan directed film first introduced a year-ish ago and described thusly:

When a man returns to Australia to buy back his family home after many years in the U.S., he is humiliated in front of his teenage son by a group of local surfers who claim ownership over the secluded beach of his childhood. Wounded, he defies them and remains at the beach, demanding acceptance. As the conflict escalates he is brought to the edge of his sanity and his identity is thrown into question.

A grumpy local dream.

Well, it premiered at Cannes to much acclaim and, again, our first bit of slang in decades. Metro UK describes the genesis of the idiom wherein Cage’s character is starving, kills a rat, takes a bite then…

After being interrupted he pockets the rat to use later, which comes during a fight when he truly snaps – resulting in his character pulling the rat from his pocket and shoving it into his opponent’s mouth.

‘Eat the rat!’, he exclaims wildly – and thus another iconic Cageism is born, joining his collection of iconic quotes.

Indeed, the star himself seems aware of how fans may catch onto this one, as he whipped the audience at Cannes up into a frenzy by roaring ‘Mangez le rat!’ (his newest meme-worthy line, translated) during the film’s six-minute standing ovation.

Eat the rat, my bro.

Skibidi.

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Mikey Wright says his sister risks execution in the UAE and, inset, Tyler Wright and wife Lilli Baker on their wedding day a couple of years back.

Fears gay surf champ Tyler Wright may be “sentenced to death” at Abu Dhabi surf contest

By Derek Rielly

5 months ago

“You have no business putting on an event at a location where my sister can be sentenced by law with the death penalty."

The brother of two-time world champ Tyler Wright has launched a wild fusillade against the World Surf League after it added a surfing event to the 2025 world tour at a man-made wave park in Abu Dhabi, where Sharia law is incorporated into the legal system.

Sharia law, if you didn’t know, is the moral and religious code for the souls among us who practice Islam. It considers homosexual acts as sinful and punishable and recommends imprisonment, floggings or the death penalty, sometimes even adding a stoning into the mix for laughs. Note: stoning, the penalty for adultery, was discontinued in the UAE in 2020.

My Sharia Amour!

In the comments pane of the WSL’s own post detailing the new schedule, Mikey Wright, who is thirty-two, tees off:

“You have no business putting on an event at a location where my sister can be sentenced by law with the death penalty. So much for equality and equal rights, only when it’s convenient to wsl. You have supported the LGBTQ flag on her shoulder but now you want to strip it and be hush hush to get her to a location that she’s at risk of this punishment. You have the responsibility to protect your athletes, interested to see how you think you can protect her against the law.”

Tyler Wright’s sister-in-law, Shenay, Mikey’s wife, even has a swing:

“Nice to see you guys are factoring in the safety of the contestants lives when choosing locations.”

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A post shared by World Surf League (@wsl)

The pair have come in half-cocked, as it were, as, happily, there are no documented cases of executions in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) specifically for the crime of homosexuality.

And while the UAE’s legal system theoretically allows for capital punishment for same-sex sexual activity under certain interpretations, in practice, there have been no verified reports of such sentences being carried out.

This is supported by various human rights reports and indicates a gap between legal provisions and their actual enforcement in the UAE.

You might get one to fifteen in the can for being gay in the UAE, however.

It ain’t quite so sanguine in Iraq, Libya, Syria, Yemen and in Hamas-controlled Gaza, however, where the extra-judicial killings of gays is quite a thing. Queers for Palestine! Yay!

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Mick Fanning and his wonderful skate-infused house and, inset, discussing the merits of Zionism with Chas Smith while fan watches on.

Mick Fanning quietly lists redundant $4 million beach shack with skate ramp in living room!

By Derek Rielly

5 months ago

“A once in a lifetime opportunity is coming soon! Is this your divine timing?"

Only three years after spending three million dollars on a beachside masterpiece near Coolangatta airport and four hundred yards from the Gold Coast’s fifth best point, Mick Fanning has quietly listed the joint with hopes of four-mill plus.

The beach house at 5 Farrell Drive, Tugun, click if you want to examine photos of it, backs onto a bird sanctuary and was a hot target for buyers in an already over-heated market when Mick Fanning bought it. Three mill for a house a ten-minute walk from the beach? Five years ago, you’d be stretched to catch a buyer willing to shovel a million bucks at it.

These days, and so hot is the market, it’s gonna cost close to four bricks.

Gun agent Emisha Canning has listed the house for private auction with inspections beginning October 26.

From the agent’s selling spiel,

Divine timing awaits✨

A once in a lifetime opportunity is coming soon. A 1269m² land + home, in the coveted Currumbin Pocket—there’s nothing else here that exists similar! This unique space was made possible by a historic acquisition of additional land, enhancing the standard block size.

Explore a home that truly belongs, complete with fruit trees, edible gardens, and planter boxes—just a short walk to the beach, all situated on a prime capital growth street.

Is this your divine timing? ✨

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A post shared by Mishy Canning (@emishacanning_realestate)

Two years ago, Mick Fanning auctioned off a five day vacation in the house and raised almost twenty gees for people ruined by floods.

As Emisha Canning said at the time,

“He was out there in the community and was on the water meeting everyone and was really affected by their stories,” Canning said. “When you’re on the ground seeing how people are affected it’s pretty emotionally daunting. He (Mick Fanning) and his wife have been working non-stop to raise money for the families.”

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Bethany Hamilton writes: "HELP‼️ My precious nephew was medivaced to kapiolani in Oahu this morning after drowning last night."

Surf icon Bethany Hamilton pleads for help finding miracle doctor after nephew medivaced to Oahu following drowning episode

By Derek Rielly

5 months ago

“He still has a heartbeat and has fight in him. We are wrecked.”

Shark attack survivor Bethany Hamilton, one of the toughest gals alive, has pleaded for help finding a “miracle” doctor after her nephew was medivaced from Maui to Oahu following a drowning episode yesterday.

In a post to her 2.4 million followers Hamilton wrote:

HELP‼️ My precious nephew was medivaced to kapiolani in Oahu this morning after drowning last night. He still has a heartbeat and has fight in him.
We are wrecked. But I know how proper medical support can make or break someone’s chance of survival and in this case we’re asking for help from anyone who has information of what we can do to give my nephew the best chance.

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of the

A post shared by Bethany Hamilton (@bethanyhamilton)

It was quickly updated after a follower got Hamilton in touch with a world-renowned doctor famous for his work in hyperbaric medicine, and who is particularly noted for his case study involving a toddler who suffered brain damage due to drowning.

Update we got ahold of Dr Paul Harch help save my nephew and educate doctors in Hawai’i. @harch.hbot

PLEASE ONLY MESSAGE MY BROTHER if you have timely information on other treatments to look into @noahhamiltonphoto my brother Noah’s cell is +1 (808) 652-7667

Please pray. THANK YOU!

Doc Harch preaches Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) which involves the patient breathing pure oxygen in a pressurised chamber. This therapy aims to increase the amount of oxygen dissolved in the bloodstream, potentially aiding in the healing of various tissues, including brain tissue.

Following the treatment of the drowned toddler, there was reported to be a significant reversal of brain damage, as evidenced by MRI scans showing a “near-complete reversal” of brain atrophy. This case was highlighted for its potential implications on treating brain injuries, though it sparked skepticism and debate within the medical community.

That case, along with Dr. Harch’s advocacy for HBOT, has been both celebrated for pushing boundaries in medical treatment and criticized for potentially giving false hope or misleading claims about the capabilities of HBOT in reversing brain damage.

But, goddamn, what else are you gonna do? I learned real early on that without someone to advocate for you in hospital, you’re gonna end up on a cold slab real quick.

Here’s hoping for the kid.

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Eat beach grit spam!