“A few years ago my Dad was surfing and today he barely walks, has to be fed food and is non-verbal.”
Dementia, Alzheimers, whatever you want to call it, is a helluva disease that turns even the smartest people alive into confused, paranoid husks wandering the fluorescent-lit hallways of locked dementia units or in the case of the USA, carrying the codes for nuclear armageddon.
There’s no hope, no cure, no improvement.
A downslide into the depths of hell until death’s merciful hand ends the pain.
The one-time world title contender Owen Wright, who is thirty-four, has spent the last five years caring for his Dad Rob even as he deals with the lingering effects of his own brain trauma.
In a harrowing post on social media, Owen spoke movingly about his Dad’s struggle as the pair sat side by side, checking the surf at Boulders, a quirky rock-bottom wave just south of Lennox, and a favourite wave of his old boy’s. It’s Rob’s last stop before going into a Dementia unit.
“He’s surfed here forever. Every morning. He was still surfing here three years ago. And five years ago he got diagnosed with dementia. He hid it before that. He already knew before that, but he hid it from us.
“But we found out about it five years ago and he was surfing all the way up until two years ago. And today we’ve come down to Boulders to say see you later to Boulders, because we’re off to the Home today. We’re taking him to the nursing home to get some better care.
“We fought pretty hard, didn’t we Poppy, to keep you out of there. That was your wishes. You said that to me years ago, ‘I don’t want to go in there. I don’t ever want to go into one of those places.’ So we fought pretty hard to keep you out. And we did pretty well, I reckon.
“Because the condition he’s in now is non-verbal, can barely walk, doesn’t get out of bed much. You know, dementia can be pretty messy and incontinence is a part of that, not knowing how to feed yourself. Losing bodily functions. That’s something I wasn’t aware of when this started. I thought it was just memory. And seeing how far it goes is quite shocking, but we did our best to keep him out of the Home for as long as we could.
“It definitely took a toll on me personally and emotionally, but you do anything for your mums and dads. And I guess today is a big day for us, hey Poppy? We’ll put you into the Home, get some care, get some nurses around and maybe meet some new people.
“Anyway, what a journey mate, what a journey. So, it’s been a pleasure. It’s been a wild ride, for sure.”
In his book Against the Water, Owen wrote,
“My Dad did so many things that clearly got great results. That relationship was the reason I surfed, it was the reason I pushed, it was the reason I rebelled, it was the reason I pushed again. It’s part of the reason I’ve retired. And it’s part of the reason I made it back out of the head injury.”
Little sister Tyler Wright, in the news this past week over fears the Arabs gonna string her up as proscribed in Sharia Law at the UAE pool event, has a different take on the Wright patriarch.
Wright says she suffered “different emotional and psychological abuse” from her Dad.
“I experienced that and I worked with a psychologist for years to understand my relationship with surfing and understand how that was born, how it was really unhealthy for me,” Wright told Dave Prodan on his usually milquetoast podcast The Lineup.
“I’m rebuilding a relationship with surfing because of the drastic and extreme circumstances that I was raised in…Look, this is not uncommon. Which is baffling for someone like me. If this is not uncommon, why don’t we have better solutions, better parenting programs, better informed industry? I’m not the first child this has happened to. I’m not the first child star this has happened to.”
Let’s hope there’s a little of that old school divine forgiveness on the cards ‘tween daughter and Dad.
