“A few years ago my Dad was surfing and today he barely walks, has to be fed food and is non-verbal.”
Dementia, Alzheimers, whatever you want to call it, is a helluva disease that turns even the smartest people alive into confused, paranoid husks wandering the fluorescent-lit hallways of locked dementia units or in the case of the USA, carrying the codes for nuclear armageddon.
There’s no hope, no cure, no improvement.
A downslide into the depths of hell until death’s merciful hand ends the pain.
The one-time world title contender Owen Wright, who is thirty-four, has spent the last five years caring for his Dad Rob even as he deals with the lingering effects of his own brain trauma.
In a harrowing post on social media, Owen spoke movingly about his Dad’s struggle as the pair sat side by side, checking the surf at Boulders, a quirky rock-bottom wave just south of Lennox, and a favourite wave of his old boy’s. It’s Rob’s last stop before going into a Dementia unit.
“He’s surfed here forever. Every morning. He was still surfing here three years ago. And five years ago he got diagnosed with dementia. He hid it before that. He already knew before that, but he hid it from us.
“But we found out about it five years ago and he was surfing all the way up until two years ago. And today we’ve come down to Boulders to say see you later to Boulders, because we’re off to the Home today. We’re taking him to the nursing home to get some better care.
“We fought pretty hard, didn’t we Poppy, to keep you out of there. That was your wishes. You said that to me years ago, ‘I don’t want to go in there. I don’t ever want to go into one of those places.’ So we fought pretty hard to keep you out. And we did pretty well, I reckon.
“Because the condition he’s in now is non-verbal, can barely walk, doesn’t get out of bed much. You know, dementia can be pretty messy and incontinence is a part of that, not knowing how to feed yourself. Losing bodily functions. That’s something I wasn’t aware of when this started. I thought it was just memory. And seeing how far it goes is quite shocking, but we did our best to keep him out of the Home for as long as we could.
“It definitely took a toll on me personally and emotionally, but you do anything for your mums and dads. And I guess today is a big day for us, hey Poppy? We’ll put you into the Home, get some care, get some nurses around and maybe meet some new people.
“Anyway, what a journey mate, what a journey. So, it’s been a pleasure. It’s been a wild ride, for sure.”
In his book Against the Water, Owen wrote,
“My Dad did so many things that clearly got great results. That relationship was the reason I surfed, it was the reason I pushed, it was the reason I rebelled, it was the reason I pushed again. It’s part of the reason I’ve retired. And it’s part of the reason I made it back out of the head injury.”
Little sister Tyler Wright, in the news this past week over fears the Arabs gonna string her up as proscribed in Sharia Law at the UAE pool event, has a different take on the Wright patriarch.
Wright says she suffered “different emotional and psychological abuse” from her Dad.
“I experienced that and I worked with a psychologist for years to understand my relationship with surfing and understand how that was born, how it was really unhealthy for me,” Wright told Dave Prodan on his usually milquetoast podcast The Lineup.
“I’m rebuilding a relationship with surfing because of the drastic and extreme circumstances that I was raised in…Look, this is not uncommon. Which is baffling for someone like me. If this is not uncommon, why don’t we have better solutions, better parenting programs, better informed industry? I’m not the first child this has happened to. I’m not the first child star this has happened to.”
Let’s hope there’s a little of that old school divine forgiveness on the cards ‘tween daughter and Dad.
we have no unions, musical or otherwise…except I’m HOT FOR TEACHERS… https://youtu.be/lO8a369YOQk?si=gEO9jpMeB4OTAoHI
this delicacy heal all pains and makes all your culinary desiries come true…dognuts~
credit to Owen , wow now there’s a change of lifestyle.
Tyler will eventually learn she had a great upbringing and to own whatever happened to her…as there are a shitload of gifted people who had upbringings that were a lot tougher than hers …don’t blame/own and understand and be grateful!
Gays play the best victims. Poor old Dad takes it on the chin publicly….
Family at war through the years of triumph and failure. Should be a good book one day.
God no, don’t perpetuate the pitty party.
His sister should take a note of two out of his book, seems like a genuine dude.
Lotta love around BG on this one. Love and respect xx
heartbreaking, obscenely costly, and all too common. and Drek, thanks for pointing out that Trump should nowhere near the nuke codes ever again.
I’ve been going through this too, taking Mum to see Dad in the lockup dementia place every second day for the last year has been hard.
But the year before that of him starting to rapidly change and do weird things, run away, get violent and turn crazy every time the sun started to go down, was the most out of character fucked up crazy shit our family had ever had to endure before we could get him properly diagnosed and put into a dementia place.
Now he seems mainly happy, though easily upset, but half zonked out half the time on psych drugs anyway.
And then there’s the cost.
Beyond obscene.
If ya not rolling in gold, or qualify for govt assistance, there’s a good chance of losing homes etc, more than a good chance…
Not like a Wright to discuss very personal stuff in the public forum
poor old bugger , as if having Tyler as a kid isn’t unlucky enough
fuckin, good on him. for doing and sharing.
my dad is at the same stage and i wouldn’t wish that shit on anyone.
fucked.
Owen stepped up. Tyler spews millennial mumbo jumbo.
Mikey …. I mean they all succeeded in their own way
It’s hard when a dying parent routinely treated you badly. My pop was good to my older sister but a bullying dickhead to me. Tough to be the bigger person sometimes. At least Tyler’s not publicly saying much now that he’s close to the end of the road. Fair enough.
What a lovely man.
This is really sweet.
We can talk some shit on here but when it comes to the crunch how many of us can stand and deliver as this guy has.
Xox
interesting how the best surfer in the Wright clan by far, is the most humble and least cringe.
Good on Owen, many of his peers fall into a self absorbed post career hole.
Very humbling experience for him and one that I find terrifying on so many levels.
without fail, it’s always one person among multiple siblings who steps up to bear the brunt of that financial and emotional burden.
or, said sibling gets their cognitively impaired parent to write their other siblings out of the will when their parent clearly doesn’t have testsmentary capacity.
like any other fucked up situation, both heros and villains alike tend to emerge.
Lost my Dad to that in April.
Best wishes to the Wrights.
Sorry to hear that CB.
Such a tough thing to go through.
after seeing family members waste away from dementia, I’d rather just be euthanized if it ever happens to me.
Imagine telling the world about all your personal issues, no wonder theyre all fuked in the head
I think he is sharing the load whilst simultaneously showing others that he recognises their struggles also.
Life ain’t easy at times but it makes the beautiful moments shine that little bit more. Love you Bexy.
Xox
I guess i just havent been instafied.
I nursed my old man until his death, its just something you do.
mwah!!
Onya bexy !
Taking a solid lead from the goat.
Make it all about you brother !
Hahahahahar
Who else would it be about?
Oh man, that’s a rough one Owen.
the lovely Mrs. Campers Pops is going through the same thing.
even though he doesn’t show it, deep down he’s got to be so appreciative you hanging in there with him through the last few years.
God Bless you….and your dad.
Sorry to hear that O, Lost both of my parents to that
Condolences, brother. I lost my dad to it two years ago. It’s a terrible thing to watch in someone you love. My heart goes out to Owen and his siblings.
Thanks Occ, same to you