"This is no regular dude. He is a one punch knockout master but all these kooks and kids on longboards are just burning him."

The Grit! podcast is almost one decade old, now, and over that time, we’ve had some very fun segments. One of my favorites is “Pros in the Wild” wherein listeners call in and describe experiences with professional surfers out in the world. These encounters are often illuminating, the true natures of our heroes and heroines becoming revealed through small interactions or observances. On yesterday’s program, a friend from Florida called in to describe a scene in which many VALs might have had their heads kicked from their shoulders for bad behavior.

Chris, anyhow, lives on the gulf and describes how anytime a hurricane hits and school, work etc. are cancelled, hundreds of people with “surfboards in the garage” decide its time to paddle out. “They’re not surfers,” he says, “they’re just free Americans with surfboards, paddling out. Kids and kooks.” In any case, the lineup turns extremely chaotic, as can be imagined, and this is where we lay our scene. Chris had paddled out near Naples, Florida after a hurricane and rustled up some waist-to-chest high gutless waves. There he was, in the mix, when he noticed a very strong appearing man on a SUP. Paddling closer he realized it was the kickboxing legend Cosmo Alexandre. “This is no regular dude,” Chris explained. “He is a one punch knockout master but all these kooks and kids on longboards are just burning him. They have no idea who he is. No idea they just burned one of the baddest people on planet earth.”

Alexandre seemed kind, ruing the fact he brought a SUP instead of another craft when Chris steeled his spine and made conversation. He did not retaliate on any of the lineup etiquette transgressions.

Would you have been so genteel? Or would you have kicked one head from one shoulders just to send a message?

Watch Cosmo Alexandre knock Sage Northcutt out while pondering how you would handle your advanced fighting skills, if you had them

"I paddled out at your local break and nobody knew you."

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, in our surfing world this morning, as two Instagram meme giants square off in what may escalate into a scorched earth war of attrition. For context, Kook of the Day sprouted in the very early social media featuring funny, light-hearted images of folk wearing wetsuits backward, folk with Wavestorms riding shotgun in convertibles, folk generally kooking it. A few years later, Kook Slams appeared featuring amusing clips of folk wiping out, folk yelling at each other in the lineup, folk getting whacked on beach while taking selfies, folk generally kooking it.

Now, Kook of the Day ran into a bit of trouble, having the account disappeared by Mark Zuckerberg for a time, getting it back then having it re-disappeared. Currently, the business is being run out of the backup account, Kook of the Day OG and holding some 15,000 supporters. Kook Slams has appeared to steer clear of Zuckerberg’s jackboot and boasts a whopping 2.4 million friendlies.

The latest batch of troubles between the two arose hours ago when Kook Slams offered a t-shirt for sale reading “I paddled out at your local break and nobody knew you.” All fine and good, except Kook of the Day had released a sticker much time ago reading “I went to your local spot and no one knew you.”

Wanton plagiarism.

Taking its war to the people, Kook of the Day called Kook Slams the dreaded triple K, “kookslams kopykat kooks” and asked for folk to “support the OG.”

Kook Slams has yet to respond though is likely weighing options.

Do you have any thoughts on the matter? Worried that the internecine conflict might spread to other meme accounts?

Scary days.