Jamie O'Brien not invited to Vans Pipe Masters.
"When I heard that JAMIE was given an ALTERNATE spot in the event, that’s when I felt something has to be said. How can you leave out arguably the greatest Pipeline surfer of all time? To suggest that he doesn’t deserve a spot in an event he has helped define is baffling to me."

Vans Pipe Masters plunged into controversy after failure to invite wave’s best surfer Jamie O’Brien

"How can you leave out the greatest Pipeline surfer of all time?"

The Vans Pipe Masters, not to be confused with the used-to-be-prestigious Pipe Masters of yore, has been plunged into controversy after the wave’s best surfer Jamie O’Brien failed to make the invitee only event. 

Pipe local Josh Moniz posted a scathing take on what is, however you slice it, a terrific injustice. 

I usually keep my opinions to myself, but I’ll speak up if no one else will. This isn’t about me trying to get a invitation—it’s about what the Pipeline Masters represents to surfing and the respect that this wave and event deserve. Even if it means I may never surf in this event at Pipe again, I’m okay with that. I’ve had my moments winning events at Pipe, and I’m grateful for all of them. If speaking out helps even one person who deserves a chance but might never get it under the current system, then it’s all worth it.

I remember growing up and watching only the best Pipe specialists and world tour surfers go head-to-head. That’s what made this event so special. It’s shocking to see how, in such a short time, Vans has nearly ruined what it means to be a Pipeline Master. The way this event has been handled in recent years, since Vans bought the rights to it, feels disrespectful to one of the most iconic waves and events in the history of surfing—right here at OUR home in Hawaii. Excluding a significant number of local and international surfers who have put in the time year after year to earn their spot in the lineup doesn’t sit right with me.

When I heard that JAMIE was given an ALTERNATE spot in the event, that’s when I felt something has to be said. How can you leave out arguably the greatest Pipeline surfer of all time? To suggest that he doesn’t deserve a spot in an event he has helped define is baffling to me. Many surfers who have barely surfed Pipe have been given spots over the years, which feels like a slap in the face to the locals and internationals who show up season after season without ever being invited. It’s nothing personal against these surfers—they are simply accepting an opportunity that any surfer would take. But the way these decisions are being made feels unfair to those who have truly earned their place.I understand that with invitational events, it’s hard to make everyone happy. However, making sure that the spots go to those who deserve them and have put in the time is all anyone can ask for.

Jamie O’Brien, who is forty-one, and so damn comfortable at Pipe rides a soft-top out there, responded. 

I’ve been processing how the Pipeline Masters has become a joke. Whoever is making these decisions clearly doesn’t understand what’s happening in the water pipeline on the day today! Or season two season It’s long overdue to speak out, and trust me, they won’t hear the end of it. It’s so sad see such a prestigious event mishandled like this, with no regard for the athletes putting in the work every day, has completely lost my respect. It’s time for a change – this event deserves to be taken over by someone who truly understands and respects the sport and the surfers 

 

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Now, a little history about the Pipe Masters and how the WSL and Vans wrecked it. 

Once upon a time, the most prestigious surfing contest in the world was the Pipeline Masters, a tuberiding event held at Pipe on Oahu’s North Shore. 

The Pipeline Masters was created in 1971 by the wonderful Fred Hemmings, one of the pivotal figures in surfing whose contribution to the game was largely ignored ‘cause of his conservative bent, and won that year by Jeff Hakman, followed by two years of dominance by Mr Pipe Gerry Lopez.

The Pipeline Masters was a contest whose crown was almost as gilded as a world title. Slater would win it seven times, as a twenty year old in 1992, and aged almost forty-two in 2013. Andy Irons won four times, 2002 through 2008, and it hosted multiple world title showdowns, the most precious Andy v Kelly in 2003 and Italo v Gabriel in 2019. 

In a wild and fitting last breath, it gifted victory to John John Florence in 2021. The Hawaiian took his iron hard-on and blew the achey pressure in his balls into his first, and only, Pipe Masters crown. Fitting that his little brother Ivan, who also grew up at Pipe and who looks like a roughed up Mason Ho, scored a ten in the event and finished third. 

Then, and as you may recall, a hammer was taken to this precious cultural relic when the WSL, and Vans who own the intellectual property rights to the Pipeline Masters, couldn’t swing a mutually satisfying agreement with Billabong for ‘em to continue as naming sponsor of the event. 

See, because the WSL’s wanted to start the 2022 season in Hawaii and end it at Trestles in September, they had to run the 2021 Pipe Masters in January. Therefore there couldn’t be two events in the same year so the usual December slot wasn’t used. 

This meant that for 2022, the WSL had to juggle the events and come up with new dates and names.  

The Volcom Pipe Pro got dropped in favour of Billabong taking over that slot, renaming it, awkwardly, Billabong Pro Pipeline. 

The Pipeline Masters still runs on its usual dates, December 8-20, 2022, but it’s an invite-only event with a focus on Vans-sponsored surfers. Cash is good, broadcast is fun, the gals get their share of the waves and loot, but it ain’t no Pipeline Masters. 

Problem here is the confusion the switcharoo brings to surfing history. A week before his fiftieth birthday in 2022, Kelly Slater, looking like an old-school bull dagger with his thick neck and shaved head, won the Billabong Pro Pipeline.

It should’ve been his eighth Pipeline Masters title, and plenty of newsrooms were labelling it as such.

Between sobs Slater said, “I committed my life to this.”

But it wasn’t a Pipeline Masters title.

And, despite Wikipedia being edited to include Billabong Pro Pipeline titles, it still ain’t and never will be.

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Kelly Slater (pictured) bald and beautiful.

Surf star Kelly Slater ranks 4th on “top 10 sexiest bald men” list!

The winningest ever professional surfer adds yet another accomplishment to his legacy.

Surf fans around the world stood and applauded, yesterday, after Kelly Slater added yet another accolade to his sagging mantle. The Florida-born, worldwide-bred regular foot, almost 53-years-young, has won 11 world surf championships, 3 Triple Crowns, 7 Pipeline Masters, 1 Pro Pipeline, 1 Eddie and near countless event wins.

One plaudit, however, has eluded him. Cracking a “top 10 sexiest bald men” list.

Well, all that changed when The Makeshift Project podcast unveiled its 2024 addition. Surf fans around the world holding a collective breath. Swinging it at number last, Vin Diesel, number 9 went to Stanley Tucci, 8 Thierry Henry, 7 Samuel Jackson, 6 Danny DeVito, 5 Terry Crews, 4 Kelly Slater…

… and it was at this moment surf fans, blue in the face, rose to their feet as one and cheered.

A small few were disappointed that the surf great was bested by 3 Shaq, 2 The Rock  and 1 Prince William but there was an overwhelming feeling that Slater could climb the Bailey Ladder in 2025 possibly knocking Shaquille O’Neal or The Rock down a rung.

Heady days, either way, and David Lee Scales and I lightly touched upon during our new Noble Rot chat. I was mostly concerned with People Magazine naming John Krasinski as its Sexiest Man Alive for the year. I have no doubt that The Office star is a hardworking fella, good husband and father but sexiest man alive? I feel People Magazine really damaged the whole notion with this pick. You can, and should, listen here.

Back to Slater, though, major congratulations to him and many more happy days to come.

Huzzah.

P.S. who do you think would win the “Sexiest BeachGrit Commenter Alive” award for ’24?

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Rat Beach (pictured) right around the corner from Lunada Bay and its Bay Boys.
Rat Beach (pictured) right around the corner from Lunada Bay and its Bay Boys.

Human skull found on Los Angeles beach once ruled by feared Bay Boys surf gang

“I kind of like pirates.”

A beachcomber stumbled upon a grisly find whilst enjoying an afternoon stroll on Rat Beach, which tucks right into Rancho Palos Verdes Estates. A skull and some bones. The wanderer called 9-1-1 immediately, the Palos Verdes Estates Police responded, directly, which in turn called in the Los Angeles Medical Examiner and confirmation was made.

Human remains.

While there was information available on age or gender, surfers immediately began wondering if they perhaps belonged to a interloper who dared paddle Southern California’s one-time most terrifyingly localized waves.

Lunada Bay.

But you have, of course, long followed the story of the notorious Bay Boys. How they sat in a stone fort down on the beach and made visitors feel extremely uncomfortable by changing into wetsuits with less-than-appropriate care, throwing rocks near people and yelling.

Months ago, a case was brought against two Bay Boys including Sang Lee who had been busted for sending a rambling email to other Bay Boys in which he called himself a pirate and said he would “die by these rules.”

According to reporting:

The honorable plaintiffs attorney Vic Otten asked Lee, “Is it true that you believe Lunada Bay belongs to you and a select group of people?” Lee responded, “No, I don’t think so. It has a special place in my heart. We try to clean up the area…” then said the wave was not “world-class” merely “better than average.”

Next, Otten asked him about the “rules.” Lee answered, “What are the rules? There’s no rules. I don’t know why I said that…” before adding “I don’t know, maybe I was drinking.”

In regards to the “pirate” reference, Lee replied he called himself one because, “I kind of like pirates.”

Pirates?

Skull and bones?

Could the Bay Boys have been up to more than half-frontal exposure and rock missing?

More as the story develops.

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The cast of Rescue: Hi-Surf (pictured) sad. Photo: Fox
The cast of Rescue: Hi-Surf (pictured) sad. Photo: Fox

Television sensation “Rescue: HI-Surf” gets kicked out of post-Super Bowl slot in rare last minute shuffle!

While Rescue: HI-Surf “brings gridiron energy to Hawaii’s North Shore,” The Floor is thought to be more appealing to a younger demographic.

Surf fans have not had much to look forward to, this bleak World Surf League Championship Tour offseason. Sure, there was the announcement that Abu Dhabi had been added to the circuit thus putting Tyler Wright’s very life in danger, but other than that, excitement has been difficult to muster.

Difficult to muster until the the new television drama Rescue: HI-Surf premiered during the end of September, lighting up the ratings and showcasing the acting talents of Makua Rothman, amongst other North Shore notables.

Well, the aforementioned surf fans were already preparing snacks etc. for the program’s over-sized episode that was set to premier directly after Super Bowl LIX on February 9th 2025.

As juicy a slot as there come.

Alas, in an extremely rare switcheroo, Fox is swapping Rescue: HI-Surf out and replacing it with Rob Lowe-fronted gameshow, The Floor. While producers had declared Rescue: HI-Surf “brings gridiron energy to Hawaii’s North Shore,” The Floor is thought to be more appealing to a younger demographic.

According to Deadline, the move also has to do with Lowe hisself. “Lowe,” it reports “also star and exec producer on Fox’s outgoing drama 9-1-1: Lone Star, has a deal with the network and has emerged as one of its top talents — active both on and off-screen, including on the promotional circuit. Additionally, The Floor is fully owned by Fox; Rescue HI-Surf comes from Warner Bros. TV, which is co-producing with Fox Entertainment.”

Surf fans back to moping whilst lighting candles for Tyler Wright’s wellbeing.

Snacks dutifully put away.

Anti-anti-depressive days.

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Siqi Yang (pictured) not from Hong Kong so allowed to Olympic surf.
Siqi Yang (pictured) not from Hong Kong so allowed to Olympic surf.

Hong Kong goes full core lord vowing to never field an Olympic surf team

"My beach, my chicks, my waves, my rules GO HOME!"

Core, as it relates to surfing, comes in many shapes and sizes. There is the surfer who disavows “the industry,” but checks Surfline before paddling out. There is the surfer who believes competition to be corruption, yet participates in local surf lifesaving club matches. There is the surfer who thinks that he/she basically invented the sport of kings since he/she has been surfing the same spot for 30+ years.

Then there is Hong Kong.

The special administrative district of the People’s Republic of China has been in the news, lately, for hating Olympic surfing so much that it refuses to allow its waves to be used for practice.

Terje Haakonsen-style.

But who could forget the snowboard legend boycotting the 1998 Winter Games, snowboarding’s Olympic introduction, for being corpo and lame?

Reminiscing about the rebel yell a decade ago, Haakonsen doubled down, declaring, “I mean, you can’t even pack your own bag, some nations say you can’t even use your own social media ‘cos they want to control all the media. The sponsorship is controlled, and people have to suddenly promote Coca Cola and McDonalds. It’s really hard to understand why you would go along with this.”

Hong Kong-based Olympic surf hopefuls’ parents, anyhow, have desperately tried to get authorities to open the shore to surf practice but the Leisure and Cultural Services Department has not budged, doubling down itself on the “no Olympic surf practice” stance by “putting up new signs stating ‘no surfing,’ according to the South China Morning Post, “in English and Chinese, adding to the notices and banners already listing the rule.”

Police officers have even been instructed to go after those daring to pollute surfing’s ideals by surf practicing.

Adrian Pedro Ho King-hong, a lawmaker with the New People’s Party and pro-Olympic surf practice voice, has petitioned the authorities for some leniency but “They said they cannot open LCSD [Leisure and Cultural Services Department] beaches for surfing because they think there will be complaints from the public.”

The core alive and well throughout Hong Kong, it appears.

Viva Terje.

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