The winningest ever professional surfer adds yet another accomplishment to his legacy.
Surf fans around the world stood and applauded, yesterday, after Kelly Slater added yet another accolade to his sagging mantle. The Florida-born, worldwide-bred regular foot, almost 53-years-young, has won 11 world surf championships, 3 Triple Crowns, 7 Pipeline Masters, 1 Pro Pipeline, 1 Eddie and near countless event wins.
One plaudit, however, has eluded him. Cracking a “top 10 sexiest bald men” list.
Well, all that changed when The Makeshift Project podcast unveiled its 2024 addition. Surf fans around the world holding a collective breath. Swinging it at number last, Vin Diesel, number 9 went to Stanley Tucci, 8 Thierry Henry, 7 Samuel Jackson, 6 Danny DeVito, 5 Terry Crews, 4 Kelly Slater…
… and it was at this moment surf fans, blue in the face, rose to their feet as one and cheered.
A small few were disappointed that the surf great was bested by 3 Shaq, 2 The Rock and 1 Prince William but there was an overwhelming feeling that Slater could climb the Bailey Ladder in 2025 possibly knocking Shaquille O’Neal or The Rock down a rung.
Heady days, either way, and David Lee Scales and I lightly touched upon during our new Noble Rot chat. I was mostly concerned with People Magazine naming John Krasinski as its Sexiest Man Alive for the year. I have no doubt that The Office star is a hardworking fella, good husband and father but sexiest man alive? I feel People Magazine really damaged the whole notion with this pick. You can, and should, listen here.
Back to Slater, though, major congratulations to him and many more happy days to come.
Huzzah.
P.S. who do you think would win the “Sexiest BeachGrit Commenter Alive” award for ’24?
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danny devito at number 6 LOL
me and a small circle of knuckleheads are in a solid protest mode...
https://beachgrit.com/2024/10/surf-champ-tyler-wright-shows-solidarity-for-palestinian-cause-despite-ongoing-fear-shell-be-executed-under-islamic-law/#comment-6574915755
Sexy and bald ? Vaginas maybe ?
Men …. Bald men all look the same . I can barley tell my bald friends apart much less if they are good looking.
Knowing kelly he will challenge the outcome
He should get 3 holes tattooed on his scone and be done with it
To think Kelly would be happy with forth is an insult.
“If you ain’t first, you’re last”
No love for Salema? Tbh imo Tucci should be number one with no competition.
This week marked the 15th anniversary of Thierry Henry‘s Hand of Frog – fuck that cunt!
Big part of the gunners golden age, saw him at Highbury twice. Luv that cunt!!
https://youtu.be/vOos2ESq3s…
I would suggest that if you asked any of the poor saps unwittingly on this list whether they were happy being considered as sexy and bald. Unlikely I would guess . Kel may even consider swapping his 11 world titles, well a couple of them, to return to his glorious hirsute days.
Tie: Owen Wright and Jacob Zeke Szkeley
Bailey ladder? Kelly would need a FTL to get anywhere near those above him on that list.
I met and spoke to William once, without realising who he was until weeks later.
He probably still occaisionally chuckles about that clueless scrufffy pleb to whom he spoke his name, yet still didn’t twig.
Danny De Vito still rocks a hairy line-up round the reef so doesn’t count (IMHO), but is a fine human being, as far as I know.
To clarify https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
What about Yul Brynner ?
Haven’t ya ever seen ‘The King And I’ ?
Or Telly Savalas ?
“Who loves ya baby ?”
Don’t forget that Telly was an under-the-radar surf god to boot.
Inconceivable
or as the joke goes from Norm McDonald of Telly telling his new partner what the girl’s mother says of her daughter: “She’s such a sweet girl.”
Telly: “She’s a prostitute.”
Bald face lies
Kelly is just waiting to be on the hottest of the hot lists.
Sexiest Trump Cabinent Member
Julian Wilson still looking for a big win
Isn’t he still at the preemptive shaving stage?
Two sexy places above Danny DeVito. Quite the accolade. I’m sure he’s over the moon.
Pretty soon you’ll be talking about holiday pie recipes and the best books to read while going through menopause.
Anything written by Andrea Dworkin will do.