“You would never think in your right mind to build a wave pool in Waco!”
Tears are flowing freely, this morning, in the San Joaquin Valley after the most famous manmade wave in the entire United States of America Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch located on the outskirts of Lemoore, was ranked below Waco Surf in Waco, Texas on energy drink giant Red Bull’s highly-anticipated Top 8 Best Wave Pools for Surfing in the US list.
While enjoyed by a panoply of ultra-celebrities ranging from Diplo to Duke Harry Montecito to Doja Cat to Ivanka Trump and host of multiple World Surf League Championship Tour events, Surf Ranch still failed to best Waco and its unique history of brain-eating amoeba.
“There’s a whole surf community in the middle of Texas,” Red Bull’s Jamie O’Brien proudly declared, rubbing cow dung into Lemoore’s open wound. “You would never think in your right mind to build a wave pool in Waco!”
Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon came in third, threatening to overtake “The Plow” with its $1,300 for 100 waves pricing.
Great Wolf Lodge came fourth thanks to its “Wolf Rider Wipeout Indoor Surf Simulator,” Revel Surf in Mesa, Arizona nabbed fifth, two different FlowRiders, one in Sandusky, Ohio, the other in Erie, Pennsylvania were awarded sixth and seventh.
Skudin Surf, the world’s largest indoor tub, closed out the rankings at eighth.
Back up to Surf Ranch losing out to Waco Surf, though, do you imagine there is shock and sadness in World Surf League offices? The “Global Home of Surfing,” which purchased Kelly Slater Wave Co. from the 11x champion, has long declared that its technology is the most superior in the world. I’d imagine sheiks in the Emirates will feel they were sold a bill of goods what with their new Kelly Slater Surf Ranch Abu Dhabi just opened. A possible coup in an already volatile region.
The surf tank wars becoming all too real.
More as the story develops.
hey derek , check out the new wave garden in Israel, non stop waves and you paddle back to the take off…..
The only wave pool with a “bomb set” feature
That’ll get you deported now.
filling the Waco tub with Green Juice, is obviously more healthy than the cow pie runoff in Lemoore.
Having found my way to Waco Surf during a biz trip to Austin(why not?) last May and I may never be the same. Mostly, I was shocked to see a group of groms from OC, with their proper OC moms, “practicing” there. They were on a wave that looked like good 3-4 day at Salt Creek…I waited for the fat, old guy session and ya I’d go back if I’m in their neck of the wood. BUT having watched videos of Lemoore, I’d say that wave Is longer than Waco. And we all know size, oops length matters.
Training your kid to be a pro surfer seems pretty decadent in this current environment. Isn’t the money gone?
The delusions of parents lives on with or without prize money.
As a parent , I second that.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
My now adult kids were ski racers and parents in this sport are legendary for being batshit crazy. There was one parent who had radios in his kids helmets so dad could coach them during training. I’m guessing the kids are lucky to not be drug addicts now…
Ski parents are worse than hockey parents, they’ll get hired goons to beat you up in the parking lot if your kid beats theirs.
I’ve never seen it escalate to that level but it wouldn’t surprise me. Nor can I confirm or deny knowledge of ski racing parents climbing up balconies the night before a really important race to put peanut butter on the bases of a fast kid’s skis that are on the balcony of their hotel room.
how tf is the pipe masters not being streamed?
Seriously ?
Xox
Vans is too cheap.
I miss watching the tripple crown events to see Jaddy clutch another requalification on the last heat at the last second only to see him fall off again during the CT.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
😂😂
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
After Com Turren’s review, Wolf Ridge indoor wolf rider wipeout simulator on the list but no Palm Springs Surf club.
Secret spot!
my buds went to palm springs last sunday. excellent surfers, all.
some said they had some success after sort of figuring it out. some said they didn’t ever really “feel it” even when some of their clips would suggest that they were feeling it.
but overall, it looked like a small(ish) pool with just a lot of water swishing about all over the damn place and from every angle. just looking at the surface conditions of the pool, it’d be like bobbing in a stormy and choppy ocean, and outta nowhere (depending on which “feature” you were surfing) a slab would appear or a tapering right wall or whatever.
for my money, after seeing their clips and hearing about it from them, it’s a hard pass.
universally they all said they see surfing, going forward, as a 2-pathed pass-time: ocean surfing, and pool surfing. competitive surfing will be pool-based for the schedule-ability and guarantee of equal opportunity. IE no one will get sent out in a heat and it goes flat for 23 mins.
Cool thanks for the info. Yea I’ll pass too.