Gotcha.

California’s annual drunk-driving awards were awash, last night, in typical glitz and glamor as various cities and towns gathered to see which among them would win the coveted crown. Bakersfield, Sacramento, Lemoore, Huntington Beach, Valencia, Fresno, Castroville and Fremont all hopeful beyond hope. The big dogs San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego quietly confident. But when the envelope was opened, a gasp filled the gilded Long Beach convention hall.

“This year’s drunk-driving capital of California is…”

“…”

“……”

“…..Laguna Beach!”

It was the 20th consecutive win for the seaside hamlet of 22,000.

While hard-partying surf brands Gotcha and More Core Division once called Laguna home, experts credit the wild string of drunk-driving with the amount of tourists who drunk-drive to the town throughout the year, numbering some 6.5 million.

City officials have, days ago, embarked on a mission of bringing local restaurants and bars into the spotlight. Now, when a person is stopped for DUI, or driving under the influence, police will send a letter to the business that served up his or her last drink, informing them of the time, place and blood-alcohol level.

Laguna Beach Police Chief Jeff Calvert declared, “It’s not intended to be punitive because the business owners don’t know what they don’t know. So it’s an opportunity for them to look at whether there’s a pattern with certain bartenders overserving or do some additional education with not only their bartenders, but their security staff.”

Mayor Alex Rounaghi added, “The data shows us this is a problem that we need to address and I think this is a really very innovative, collaborative and data-driven way of doing that. Any time that we can save a life and prevent future deaths it’s important for us to do that.”

Huntington Beach, it is reported, once considered publicly identifying drunk drivers on the city’s Facebook page.

Ivan Spiers, who owns restaurants Mozambique and Skyloft, opined that the letters don’t fix the problem of drunk drivers, saying, “It’s bureaucracy and a waste of money and time.”

Don’t drunk drive on New Year’s Eve and force Ivan Spiers to read about your blood-alcohol level.

Annoying.

Pier pressure to become a thing of the past?

Everyone knows, I think, that California’s coolest surfers generally congregate around the Golden State’s many piers. Bobbing below the fisherpeople in Pismo, shooting the pilings in Huntington, getting all rad in Ocean Beach etc. Pier Rats, as they are reverentially called, thrive off the high stakes of visibility. One thing to bog a top turn whilst out at a local beachbreak. Quite another thing to do whilst under the discerning eyes of tens, if not hundreds, of inland tourists.

Pier surfing is the creme and who could forget such incredible moments as Laird Hamilton navigating Malibu’s iconic pier back in ’14?

Or Kelly Slater slipping through Huntington’s back in ’11?

Well, bad news for everyone, I think, then, as experts have declared that California’s piers will soon all be demolished thanks to climate change. Just last week week we witnessed a hunk of Santa Cruz’s gorgeous wharf become ripped apart by big waves.

She but a harbinger.

Grinchy meteorologist Patrick Abbott told San Diego’s local NBC affiliate, “We are sticking something out into the largest ocean in the world, expecting it to stand up against huge waves.”

Spreading no Christmas cheer, he continued, “As the ocean comes up farther. (The) tree is pulling up ever saltier water into its system. We’re fighting, shall we say, a greater amount of energy in the ocean. That means we have to build stronger piers to stand up to them, and even those will last for a relatively short time.”

While some cities will attempt to shore up the structures, others are considering simply feeding them to climate change.

Drew Kiel, who enjoys visiting the Ocean Beach pier and showing it off to his Utah-based girlfriend shared, “I think it’s an important piece of California culture that we’re losing if we don’t rebuild it. I think it’s a cultural touchstone for people here. It’s awesome. People who come here to fish and get food for their families. It’s (also) awesome for the tourists.”

His mother added, “Especially if you’re not a surfer or swimmer, you’re stuck on shore … well, on the pier you can walk all the way out …you can see it up close and feel more of its energy.”

RIP.

Now please enjoy the Encyclopedia of Surfing entry on shooting piers before it’s too late.