Laguna Beach beats all-comers to take “drunk-driving capital of California” honors for 20th consecutive year!

Gotcha.

California’s annual drunk-driving awards were awash, last night, in typical glitz and glamor as various cities and towns gathered to see which among them would win the coveted crown. Bakersfield, Sacramento, Lemoore, Huntington Beach, Valencia, Fresno, Castroville and Fremont all hopeful beyond hope. The big dogs San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego quietly confident. But when the envelope was opened, a gasp filled the gilded Long Beach convention hall.

“This year’s drunk-driving capital of California is…”

“…”

“……”

…..Laguna Beach!

It was the 20th consecutive win for the seaside hamlet of 22,000.

While hard-partying surf brands Gotcha and More Core Division once called Laguna home, experts credit the wild string of drunk-driving with the amount of tourists who drunk-drive to the town throughout the year, numbering some 6.5 million.

City officials have, days ago, embarked on a mission of bringing local restaurants and bars into the spotlight. Now, when a person is stopped for DUI, or driving under the influence, police will send a letter to the business that served up his or her last drink, informing them of the time, place and blood-alcohol level.

Laguna Beach Police Chief Jeff Calvert declared, “It’s not intended to be punitive because the business owners don’t know what they don’t know. So it’s an opportunity for them to look at whether there’s a pattern with certain bartenders overserving or do some additional education with not only their bartenders, but their security staff.”

Mayor Alex Rounaghi added, “The data shows us this is a problem that we need to address and I think this is a really very innovative, collaborative and data-driven way of doing that. Any time that we can save a life and prevent future deaths it’s important for us to do that.”

Huntington Beach, it is reported, once considered publicly identifying drunk drivers on the city’s Facebook page.

Ivan Spiers, who owns restaurants Mozambique and Skyloft, opined that the letters don’t fix the problem of drunk drivers, saying, “It’s bureaucracy and a waste of money and time.”

Don’t drunk drive on New Year’s Eve and force Ivan Spiers to read about your blood-alcohol level.

Annoying.