Jamie Brisick releases searingly personal film, “Between a rock, a cock and a good time!”

A wild Malibu romp with Cousin Pete, Steven, and our hero, the surf journalist maestro Jamie Brisick.

“Buckin’ Broncos” is the happy byproduct of about two decades of memoir/personal essay writing that started over a lunch with my then-agent who asked about my surfing life. I elaborated, and at the end of my rant he said, “You know, you should really write a memoir, a surf-family memoir.” So I went home, rolled one of the spliffs that I smoked every evening at that time, and began writing what for many years I framed as my failed memoir, but now just think of as my daily self-examination/check-in/interrogation.

Which is to say that the memoir in its completed form has yet to be published. But as the brilliant writer John Jeremiah Sullivan once wrote (I’m paraphrasing), ‘There’s no such thing as wasted writing.’ Or the artist Paul Chan, who I interviewed in 2015, told me, “I’m starting to see how success is its own form of failure.”

Or as Bob Dylan sings in “Love Minus Zero”: She knows there’s no success like failure / And that failure’s no success at all.

I sort of became my own therapist, writing scenes from imagined therapy sessions, in which I’d ask myself, “Just what the fuck are you trying to say here?” Loads of fun. It then blurred into fiction, and here you have “Buckin’ Broncos,” as well as about 100 other entries of this sort, which I plan to make into whimsical, idiosyncratic micro films.

I was thrilled to work with Quinn Graham, who’s made some excellent films with the surfers Frankie Harrer and Taro Watanabe. And Charlie Smith of Cruise Control Contemporary, my dear pal and sometimes therapist. And Davis and Skylar Diamond, whose duo, Very Nice Person, soundtracks, and who ride 88 soft tops, usually finless, lots of sideways drifting. And so it’s friends, making, toying, experimenting.

Hoping to do a lot more like this.

Oh, and the memoir. Here’s a passage that takes place right around the time referenced in “Buckin’ Broncos”—

I can’t remember my first wave or first contest victory, but I can recall in vivid detail the sadistic glint in Barron Burns’s eyes the time he ran off with some valley girl’s joint, sucked it into his lungs until he could suck no more, and then stomped it into the sand with his bandana-wrapped motorcycle boot. I can see the cluster of surfers straddling their boards and the chocolaty barrels roping across First Point during the El Niño winter of 1983 when streets flooded, cesspools overflowed, and “Warning: Contaminated Water” signs dotted the bombed-out beach. I can taste the pepperoni pizza and Coors from plastic cups and even remember snippets of dialogue at the salad bar the night Brett Thomas and I got hammered at Straw Hat after the WSA Malibu Invitational.

Waves disappear as quickly as we ride them. There are no goals, hoops, or sidelines to give definition, make things cut and dried. Surfing is mercurial—try and hold it in the hands for close inspection and it seeps between the fingers, leaving only fragments, glimmers.

Cousin Pete, Steven, and I are out at Topanga Point on a minus low tide afternoon, the six-foot faces steep and hollow, the kelp so thick you could almost walk on it. We look down towards Chart House, which is as much a myth as it is a surf spot. There are world-class waves in Los Angeles County but they reveal themselves only when swell, tide, wind, and moon align perfectly. Three-hundred and sixty-two days a year you’d drive past and never imagine that these points actually break, but those few days that they come together they’re magic, the kind of waves that end jobs, disrupt Thanksgiving dinners.

We see a small cluster of surfers huddled around the boulder-strewn point that gets its name from the restaurant on the headland and decide to run down and check it out. The waves are shoulder-high and spiraling and the guys riding it are different from the ones we know from Malibu, Topanga, Zuma. Not only are their styles more hunched over and low to the board, but their black wetsuits and beaten single fins suggest underground/off radar, which parallels the fact that they’re all about the tube, which is a kind of hiding unto itself.

We’ve never surfed this type of wave, but because the guys shout words of encouragement, and the whitewash is knocking at our knees and threatening to drag us over the rocks, we jump in. It’s less a paddle out than a single stroke into position. There’s a primordial quality to the lineup: the creepy-crawly sand crabs that nip at our toes, the briny smell of the barnacle-encrusted rocks not fifteen feet away, the currents and eddies that slosh us to and fro, the slurp of water crashing on sand.

Cousin Pete, Steven, and I get heavily tubed for the first time, a major rite of passage. The tube is surfing at its apex. It features in every movie and magazine, but pictures don’t do it justice. It’s tough to describe, but I’ll try.

Aquamarine water sucks up the face and turns snowy white at twelve o’clock then pitches out and envelopes you in a kind of liquid womb. Your rear fingers graze the upward-surging water and your front fingers aim for the exit. Your board slithers across the whirl as the guillotine lip slaps the wave face in primal gasps and exhalations. And once you’ve got your line, you just sort of sit back and enjoy the view. It’s more like meditation than sport. While the crescendo moments in baseball or basketball, for instance, involve grand slams or slam dunks, this tube, this intimate exchange with Mother Nature, is virtually effortless.

We get tube after tube after tube. It connects with that childlike attraction to crawl spaces, tree forts, hiding under tables. It’s also beautiful: the streaks of pinks and purples in the sky, the shimmer of emeralds and golds on the wave face, the cascading lip that’s everything a Tiffany’s window display aspires to.

We surf till the sky’s nearly pitch black then run back up to Topanga to catch the bus to Cousin Pete’s house in West LA.

We travel with our boards wrapped in sleeping bags, inviting questions and putting us in a kind of ambassadorial role. By the time we get to our stop on Pico and Doheny we’ve explained to a pair of Latino grandmothers from Silver Lake that the wax goes on the deck and not the bottom, that fins give holding power and help us turn, that the North Shore of Oahu gets twenty-five-foot waves in winter and

Yes, we do plan to ride them one day.

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Jason Connery's dad, Sean, maybe scouting for a surf tank.
Jason Connery's dad, Sean, maybe scouting for a surf tank.

Sean Connery’s son jumps into surf tub game with eye-watering investment!

The spy who loved me. And you.

Whilst the surf fan might be forgiven for thinking wave pools are dead after sitting through the tedium of Abu Dhabi, he or she would also be wrong. A recent study concluded that Wavegardens are wildly profitable, their owners each seeking to enhance holdings, now including the legendary James Bond’s son.

Yes, Surf Park Central has just announced that Jason Connery, his only child, has tossed an eye-watering £1 million investment into Lost Shore Surf Resort very near Edinburgh, Scotland, which opened recently.

According to the facility’s website, “Lost Shore is set within extensive grounds with luxury accommodation, waterfront bar, café and restaurant, surf schools, surf shop, The SurfSkate Academy and wellness treatments. This world-class facility will change the landscape of Scottish tourism and surfing, bringing an iconic sport to a new inland home. We welcome surfers and non-surfers alike, from first timers to developing Olympians of the future!”

Lost Shore (pictured) during the construction days.
Lost Shore (pictured) during the construction days.

Scotland’s JP Currie closer, in skill, to the developing Olympians than the first timers no doubt.

Back to Connery, though, he declared, “Lost Shore Surf Resort is an exciting and ambitious project that brings something truly special to Scotland. It offers incredible opportunities not only for sport and recreation but also for the local economy. (Founder) Andy Hadden’s vision for the resort is inspiring, and I am pleased to support a business that aligns with my passion for Scottish enterprise, sport, and culture. The early success of Lost Shore is a testament to the demand for an attraction like this, and I look forward to seeing its continued impact.”

Hadden added, “These funds will help us take the project to the next level.”

Very fine, but now we, here, must get down to the important work of deciding the greatest James Bond and the greatest James Bond film.

For my £1 million, Sean Connery is #1 Bond but The Spy Who Loved Me is a sneaky #1 film.

Have at me.

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Harry Bryant, Marshall Islands, Natural Selection.
As for the wave, this righthander made lightly famous by Kelly Slater back in 2012, Harry says it’s “one of the best waves in the world on its day. I haven’t been to many waves like that. You can’t compare it. Teahupoo is the closest thing." | Photo: Ryan Miller

Harry Bryant says secret wave in Natural Selection has potential to be a “kilometre-long Teahupoo”

"On a perfect day, offshore winds, good swell direction, you could easily get the longest tube of your life.”

Earlier today and after a flurry of ado since its taping into Micronesia around one month ago, the Travis Rice-engineered surf contest Natural Selection premiered on YouTube. 

You might’ve heard of Trav’s Natural Selection, a freeride snowboard contest designed in 2021 to take athletes away from snow parks and into raw backcountry environments. 

The concept, as the name suggests, draws from Charles Darwin’s “survival of the fittest,” where competitors must adapt to unpredictable and wildly rugged terrain to succeed. 

Natural Selection now also includes mountain bikes, skiing and, here we are, surf. If you watched you might’ve been left in a couple of minds about it all. 

The lack of star power hurt, this thing has Kelly Slater written all over it, the wave is a hell of a thing, sure, but it’s open to wind and impossible to shoot unless you’ve got a Larry Haynes (RIP) or a Dan Russo shooting wide-angle while the usual land guys, Miller and so on, zoom around on the back of skis. 

As it was, the judges, the film crew, were on a boat skippered by the great Martin Daly, read all about Marty here, and here, and here, flying in and out of the channel, Teahupoo esque. 

At one point a smaller support boat coming in to the stern of the film vessel was lifted up by the ten feet of swell and pushed a hole into its hull. The contest was put on hold, briefly, Marty threw on his tank, dived into the drink and epoxied up the hole. 

You’ll find out the winner in two days, Feb 20, USA time, but in the meantime, I interviewed Harry Bryant, a twenty-eight-year-old Australian with a bushy hairdo and albino moustache that twinkle like glitter on a burlesque dancer’s corset.

There is a recklessness to Harry’s surfing as well as drama and attitude.

The wave, he says, although not in so many words, is like being rimmed by a trannie who might be your uncle. Danger mixed with a terrific excitement, a wild ol what-if.

Harry says he heard about Natural Selection while he was hovering around the North Shore in December, readying for the Vans Pipe Masters. He says he’d never really tuned into the snowboarding Natural Selection event but was pricked curious “to see if someone other than the surfers, the WSL or Stab could run a surf event that was more exciting.”

Did they? 

“Uh, I reckon, you know what, extremely tough circumstances to run an event smoothly the first time,” he says. “I reckon the actual format will get smoothed out over time. This first one, we were all the way out in the Pacific trying to mould the format around the waves. It’s a pretty gnarly and tough zone to run an event: off a boat, on a wave in the middle of the Pacific. Pretty gnarly.” 

The problem, apart from the wind, was getting the judges and camera crew in the zone to see and record the magnitude of the rides. 

“Martin’s one of the best captains and super aware of his surroundings but he wasn’t anchored, just sitting in the channel, and accelerating and reversing to get the judges in the spot to see every wave. All the cameras were on the same boat so if the boat wasn’t in the spot then there was no footage and the judges couldn’t tell what was going on.” 

He describes Marty’s feat of repairing his damaged boat as “fucking crazy. He had an epoxy gun and was able to seal the boat while submerged underwater with fucking twelve-foot waves breaking around him.”

As for the wave, this righthander made lightly famous by Kelly Slater back in 2012, Harry says it’s “one of the best waves in the world on its day. I’d love to see it in all-time conditions. It’s definitely prone to swell but when you’re prone to swell you’re prone to all the elements. I saw the Florence lads went there a couple months prior and it looked similar: super windy, too big, real ledgy, deep water, super hard to surf. It’s really hard to navigate, to know what to  ride. I haven’t been to many waves like that. You can’t compare it. Teahupoo is the closest thing. It’s so ledgy. It comes out of deep water and this is a similar takeoff to Chopes but you’re locking into a kilometre of a long, long stretch of reef. On a perfect say, offshore winds, good swell direction, you could easily get the longest tube of your life.” 

 

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Size-wise, although it may not be apparent in the vision accompanying the event, he says it was twelve-to-fifteen foot on the sets. 

“I pulled back on one wave that genuinely petrified me. I’ve been hunting slabs for the last five years and have gone to some pretty gnarly waves, pushing myself in bigger slabby waves. There it gets to a point where it’s too big to paddle, too slabby, moving too quick and so steep. Everyone was stumped on the conditions. Trying to get a wave and successfully ride it and trying to hold an event and get a few waves in a heat, it was hard to comprehend.”

Haz says he rode a six-foot Timmy Patterson, the only board he could access as his others were buried under a ton of board bags on the boat. He says he was impressed by everyone who came on the trip. Everyone had a swing, as they say. 

“For how gnarly it is, no one had been there, no one had competitive edge. We were in the same boat , literally, paddling out and not knowing what the wave was going to do, what to do, how to approach it. Everyone was going really hard. Eithan and Al had a heat together that was sick to watch, one of the sickest heats I’ve ever seen in front of my eyes. When that style of surfing goes down it’s pretty special to watch.” 

Although no surfers were gravely wounded during the event, Soli got a few stitches in his wing but that was about it, the photographer Jason Murray had his leg destroyed some days later while filming from the tinny. The boat flew over a wave and he landed awkwardly, snapping his ankle, which would require surgery to secure it with bolts, and ripping the MCL in his knee. 

“The whole thing was dramatic, to tell the truth,” says Harry. 

Tune in on Feb 20, US, Feb 21, Aus, for Finals Day.

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Watch Party: Chat Natural Selection Surf Day 1 with friends and foes!

Opine at will.

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Noah Beschen (pictured) in action. Photo: Ryan Miller
Noah Beschen (pictured) in action. Photo: Ryan Miller

Surf fans smack hungry lips as Natural Selection Surf contest goes live!

The un-Abu Dhabi.

The surf fan, beleaguered from years of abuse, gazed at our snowboarding brethren with starving eyes, in 2008, as living legend Travis Rice launched an almost perfect event format in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Majestic terrain, iconic riders, a show for the core as opposed to some imaginary audience.

Natural Selection was honed, over the years, becoming a sort of tour in 2021, moving to Alaska and Revelstoke, Rice searching high and low for lines that would push the art to its limits.

And surf fans, sorrowful, gazed from a distance before turning teary eyes back to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch and its Surf Ranch Pro.

Then some rumblings.

I likely heard them first, as my wife is Rice’s longtime agent, but could not truly believe. Natural Selection entering surf? The chitter-chatter grew louder, over the next few months, real plans coming together featuring the renowned wave-hunting pirate Martin Daly and a spot he discovered in Micronesia.

Gaping blue barrels, sharp ouchy reef.

Filipe Toledo’s worst nightmare.

And then rumblings became reality.

Unlike World Surf League events, “Mother Nature is the lead character” and the supporting artists cast around her.

On the men’s side, Mikey February (South Africa), Victor Bernardo (Brazil), Kauli Vaast (Tahiti), Noah Beschen (Hawaii), Eithan Osborne (USA), Harry Bryant (Australia), Al Cleland Jr. (Mexico), and Soli Bailey (Australia). The women’s featured Coco Ho (Hawaii), Milla Brown (Australia), Anne Dos Santos (Brazil) and Kirra Pinkerton (USA).

The action will unfold over two days, the first going live in a few short hours.

Watch here at 12:00 PM PST.

Or here also at 12:00 PM PST.

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