"Tinder just declared war on short kings..."

As students of professional surfing know, for every Jordy Smith there are five Jett Schillings. Li’l micro men who easily become obscured from view in an un-mowed meadow. Surfing, of course, and especially its professional varietal, prizes a low center of gravity and, thus, the smaller statured have enjoyed great success at all levels of the sport.

Now, the aforementioned students are also very aware that the tours, be it Qualifying, Challenger or Championship, each travel around the globe, from Hawaii to California, Australia to France to South Africa to Portugal. The single professional, looking for romance, often turns to popular dating applications like eHarmony or okCupid in order to facilitate relationships.

Outrage understood, then, when one of the more popular apps, Tinder, revealed that it is testing a filter in “limited parts of the world” to weed out short men.

According to the BCC “It works by informing the app’s matching algorithm based on a user’s stated preference, rather than filtering out certain users altogether,” though the distinction has done little to ameliorate hurt feelings.

“Tinder just declared war on short kings,” one lashed out on social media.

“I don’t care what Tinder says – short kings are elite,” another added.

Joe, no last name given, is “somewhat shorter than the average American man at 5’6″ the BBC continues. He found love with a 5’1” woman though thinks the height filter is a bad thing. “Limiting yourself to physical things about someone will lessen your opportunities and chances of finding a partner,” he says. “Height shouldn’t matter when you’re looking for forever.”

It must be noted that 5’6″ is somewhat taller than the average professional surfer.

Beth McColl, a London-based podcaster, believes that the filter will help pocket buddies by weeding out rude ladies who only like the tall.

“Women typically don’t have a problem with dating a shorter man,” she adds, “but they do, maybe, have a problem with dating a shorter man who is really hung up on it. There’s nothing in being a little bit taller that will make that man a better partner – but I think we’ve tricked ourselves into thinking that there’s truth in that.”

Well?

Thoughts?

Pouring one out for Edgard Groggia or feeling bullish that rei curtos will trend?

"It's not something that I show my kids or whatever. It's something that happened and I try and move on from it."

Mick Fanning is, of course, seated at the main table in surfing’s Valhalla. The Gold Coast Australian burst onto the scene in the late 1990s as a hard-partying, lightning fast wave wizard. Greatness certainly manifesting in 2001 wherein Fanning won the longest running surf contest on earth, the Bells Beach Pro, as a 20-year-old wild card. Three titles followed (2007, 2009, 2013) plus a slew of other awards and acknowledgements but the surf-adjacent fans know him best for his tango at the 2015 J-Bay Open.

For it was there, during the finals against one Julian Wilson, that a giant great white shark either bumped, tangled with or tried to eat Mick Fanning during the live broadcast.

A truly shocking moment, one which, according to Australia’s 9 News, Mick Fanning has had to address in every interview since. One which he was asked to keep that streak alive.

Sitting down for a chat with Wide World of Sports, the 43-year-old shared, “It’s one of those things where I’ve had to work through it and be comfortable with it. It’s something that did happen, and so I can’t shy away from it. But yeah, it’s not something that I show my kids or whatever. It’s something that happened and I try and move on from it.”

Continuing, Fanning revealed that he had had dinner with South African shark attack survivor Shannon Ainslie but two days before his own brush with great white death. The hall of famer asked if it was safe out in the water and Ainslie assured him there was “nothing to worry about.”

“It was so wild. Catching up with him a couple of nights before, and him telling us his story,” Fanning recounted. “There was definitely times where I remembered – he was saying he felt like they were after the board rather than him. So I was just trying to get my board in between me and the shark. The last thing I saw was my board sailing off into the sunset on its fin, and I was like, ‘Yep, I’m not going after that’. I’m thankful that I actually spoke to him before … If I hadn’t had that conversation, maybe I would have chased my board to get on top of it or something. It was definitely a crazy moment.”

Mercifully everything ended well, Fanning has gone on to much fortune via smart investments and a sprawling real-estate portfolio. More important, maybe, the phrase “back on the ski to reset” becoming enshrined in the English lexicon.

Do you have thoughts on that wild day?

Do you remember where you were when you witnessed?

Share please.

"Hi Karolina, I wanted to take a moment to talk to you about the Philippine Flag..."

I woke up early, this morning, per the usual, rubbed my eyes, snagged my reading glasses off the nightstand and fetched my phone, wondering if anything newsworthy had happened in our surfing sphere. A quick scroll taught me that new wave pools are being planned in both San Francisco and Houston, piano man Billy Joel is a secret surf industry enthusiast, a high surf advisory has been issued for Hawaii’s south facing shores and… this is where my heart stopped… “Surfing Barbie” was under attack for a bit of cultural appropriation.

“Oh no…” I immediately thought. “What did Caroline Marks do?”

Feeling scared but needing to be brave, I squinted, clicked and became very relieved that the current world number 6 was not under any sort of attack. The “Surfing Barbie” in question happening to be the Dubai-based Pole Karolina Agata Sankiewicz.

Now, I don’t know if you are as familiar with Sankiewicz’s work as you should be. The social media influencer, who boasts an impressive 1m followers on Instagram, has made a name for herself by wake surfing in various unconventional getups. Generally fancy heels, gowns and hundred thousand dollar handbags.

Yesterday, she decided to celebrate the Philippines ahead of its upcoming independence day.

“We wanted to honor Filipino culture and community—especially here in the UAE, where the Filipino community is such a vibrant and essential part of society. I love you Philippines,” the platinum blonde declared.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Karolina Agata Sankiewicz (@boss_baby001k)

While her intentions might have been pure, many were none too pleased.

“Hi Karolina,” one concerned follower began, “I wanted to take a moment to talk to you about the Philippine Flag. As a Filipino, I wanted to share with you the significance and importance of our national flag.”

After doing such, he ended, “We appreciate your enthusiasm and interest in our culture. However, we hope you can understand that using our flag in a surfing video, even if unintentionally, may be perceived as disrespectful.”

Another added, I think the use of our flag in a surfing video does not conform to its lawful use as provided in RA 8491, specifically this section shown. Also, there is a proper way of folding the flag. It cannot be folded in a manner that’s convenient to the bearer.”

Still another, “Using the flag in this way – surfing with it in the water – does appear to cross the legal and cultural boundaries of proper flag etiquette in the Philippines. It would generally be seen as misuse under RA 8491.”

And on and on and on.

Sankiewicz, attempting to put out the fire, jumped into the comments herself, explaining, “I am holding the Philippines flag with respect, wearing national Philipiniana outfit from Philippines, this video was made for the upcoming Independence Day as my team members are from Philippines we respect and value each other and support that’s why we made this video so everyone around the world can celebrate Philippines Independence Day.”

At time of writing, it is unclear if the “some of my best employees are Filipino” defense has worked or not.

Maybe a silver lining, though? It would be hoped that the World Surf League has a team busily studying RA 8491 for when a Championship Tour surfer jumps to Team Philippines ahead of the ’28 LA Olympics thus affixing the flag to singlet.

Proper use etc.

More as the story develops.