"I have never liked the word retirement. It doesn't feel like a modern word to me…"
The greatest-ever women’s tennis player, Serena Williams, stunned and delighted tennis fans across the globe, over the weekend, by announcing her return to the game. Williams, who will turn 45 this September, stepped away from the game four years ago. Her last match was at the U.S. Open, where she cried after, saying, “These are happy tears, I guess. I don’t know… It’s been the most incredible ride and journey I’ve ever been on in my life. I’m just so grateful to every single person that’s ever said, ‘Go Serena!’ You got me here.” Adding, “I have never liked the word retirement. It doesn’t feel like a modern word to me… Maybe the best word to describe what I’m up to is evolution. I’m here to tell you that I’m evolving away from tennis, toward other things that are important to me.”
Well, as Chuck Darwin knew, evolution is a many-splendored things and she is officially back, announcing the return via a stylish video which sees her tennis practice interrupted by a ringing iPhone before the screen goes black with white words reading “Guess everybody heard the news.”
And there is absolutely zero way the greatest-ever men’s professional surfer is not piqued. Kelly Slater, just 10 years older than Serena, retired from that game sort of two-ish years ago but just last week slipped on the singlet, once more, to take on Joel Parkinson and Nathan Hedge as the only American half of Team USA as his partner Dylan Graves, hails from Puerto Rico. You may not have heard, but Slater won, smashing Team Australia and you know the thought is tickling.
Watch the man, here, and tell me he’s not tan, rested and ready for another spin.
I dare you.
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I must have been dead , what did that strayan cunt do and why is he gone ?.
Made too many Kiwi jokes.
Well after watching the latest footage , i would rather watch KS than the majority of the current safe surfing CT surfers , in fact id watch KS before JackRobbo at the moment thats for sure.
If waves are legit good–walls, or barrels–and Slater is healthy, he’s still a top-10 surfer.
I agree in anything slightly clean or better 3ft to 20ft and he is in the mix
Joel… looks kinda weird here. Didn’t recognize.
Big time
Not very easy on the eyes here
almost tanks his board as he leans into his bottom turns. Needs to run up and down that hill near his house 10x a day.
Lol or not try and push so hard.
Waves look tricky though. You in CR yet? Away from surfing for 3 weeks so help me live vicariously.
Next week. Can’t live vicariously through me at my home bc waves always suck. Been drooling over all these Insta clips of Indo on fire the last week. If I ever get massive cash influx I’m heading there and never leaving.
Can Kelly do this? Tennis Claims… Crip Walk is nasty
We did get a “Shooter McGavin” from Seabass with his 10 at Northpoint, which was just as lethal.
Margaret Court is the greatest women’s tennis player you fucking philistine.
Who?
She is statiscally the GOAT of Women’s Tennis
We cannot deny the facts
A little off topic but… there is potential for a heated title race coming up. Imagine Dec 8 rolls around and a El Niño fueled 10’ straight west swell is stacking up. Medina, Yago, grif, italo, miggy etc are all in the hunt.
And then…. John gets the wildcard
Oh yeah and Cole
Seems like an opportune time to rehash one of the greatest post heat interviews of all time….
Have you seen DR’s post-retirement interview with him, and his interviews for How Surfers Get Paid? He seemed pretty happy to be rid of the tennis tour.
Pretty disgraceful how that ASP version of the mid year cut effectively took Bobby away from us early, then gave us that no good bunch of rookies, who hadn’t even earned the right to surf against Bobby. And what’d they all go on to achieve? Was it worth it?
Classic!
For those of you’ll interested I just found a copy of Sea of Darkness on Pirate Bay. The torrent is there for anyone who wants it.
Hey, Hippy. Do you know if the Hollywood Director / Producer / Former Hollywood stuntman Steve Boyum is related to Bill Boyum?
Pretty sure that’s the edited version if it’s not new?
Definitely the edited version. I’ll likely never see the original cut.
Ask Martin Daly.
Hot Off The Press. This comes after much deliberation with my family and recent banishment of an incredible two star troll Strayan Cunt. The risks have just become too high. Please take this as you may and appreciate if you would go easy on me during this transitional period in my life.
“I have never liked the word retirement. It doesn’t feel like a modern word to me… Maybe the best word to describe what I’m up to is evolution. I’m here to tell you that I’m evolving away from trolling other commentators, toward other things that are important to me.”
Sean Connery- June 2026
Godspeed Sean. Been a decade? Pottery or poetry classes with the wife?
I think he’s saying that he’s just going to be a kinder Sean from now on. That’s what I read from it.
What’s up with the appreciation for Negatron, as opposed to Optimus Prime? Is it just an inside joke, or was there really an appreciation for the bad guy?
Sean and I have always got along. He’s an OG, gets the game. He’s just throwing alittle petrol on the bonfire as he exits stage right with a chuckle.
“Negatron” was actually was actually a good guy like Optimus, who genuinely wanted freedom and equality for his people but eventually concluded that peaceful methods were futile.
Then he turned into an evil robot
Look it up. I loved Transformers as a kid.
“Over time, Megatron’s hatred for oppressors twisted him into becoming an oppressor himself. He became entirely consumed by the belief that he was the only one capable of ruling.”
History repeats itself!
It is a very witty and self aware username for a moderator for sure, as many have said before.
Thank you. I can now see the irony/context, once you explained the history of megatron.
Shoutout it Orson Welles for being cool enough to voice Unicron.
There are also many instances where Megatron has regrets, and rejoins the oppressed, and has several redemption arcs.
In the Cartoons, not so much the new jump cut movies.
Fuck! Beach Grit is just like Transformers
It all started with Sasha
So an automobile version of Thanos?
Thanks Negs. Not exactly. Strayan Cunt actually asked me to be the ghost writer for his upcoming memoir. You have a whole chapter. So that should keep me busy.
Thoughts and prayers 🙏
One chapter?
Surely it will become a multi-book series
The rest is still unwritten
There will be zero books. Good Sean is being facetious and wouldn’t be wasting his time on something so inconsequential. 👌
But the timeline has not yet completed? There is so much more to come for our enjoyment.
Who was your favourite Bond girl, and why was it the first one?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Ahhh. The good old days. Thanks for posting this time capsule. Those years were like going to baskin robbins. Some days I prefered cookies and cream…other days it was mint chip. I loved all of them equally though Barnycle.
I do appreciate your love for all 31 flavours, but for me it’s always been, coincidentally on either end of the timeline, Ursula and Lea Seydoux. The first and the last.
Andre Agassi, gosh, Pete Sampras, we had Boris Becker, um, John Mcenroe of course… Andy Murray, wow, we think back to Fred Perry! Gosh. We had Martina Navratilova, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic, Steffi Graf – always reminds me of our very own ‘Stef’, Stephanie Gilmore – we call her the Queen of Snapper Rocks.
Stef just Loves to smile. We’ll see her around the event site with her crew and we’ll just say, ‘hi Stef’, and she just smiles… gosh, she sometimes gets called ‘Happy Gilmore’ because she’s smiling so much!
Life’s good when you’re the GOAT.
You left out Serena
Craziest thing Joe, I couldn’t believe agassi ditched brooke shields for steff. Maybe goats just prefer sex with other goats instead of peak Hollywood babes. Just plain old goat sex. One never knows. Back to live action Joe, i think i see some lines approaching ? Clocks ticking away.
Stefi was sexy af. Brooke was goofy
Can we get a tennis match between Chas and Hippy (our resident Bobby) since they appear to be the only 2 around here that give a flying fuck about tennis?
I love tennis!
My money is on you for the win.
Will this suck up to Chas prevent Negs from nuking your posts?
He hasn’t nuked my posts yet but I think Chas really does love tennis and would, therefore, beat the neo-Hippy on the court. Now, you vs Chas would be 2 tennis loving fools battling it out to the bitter end while walking off the court with your sweaters draped over your shoulders like good little yuppies.
Unlike Chas I am not a slave to fashion and would show up on the court with a Rage Against The Machine or a Grateful Dead t-shirt to kick his ass all over the court. Granted the three bulging discs in my back might limit my actual performance, I can still kick the ball into the box while talking trash to the statuesque youngster
Does Chas actually follow fashion? When I see the photos I presume that he’s trailblazing some new form of fashion; as any true fashionista does.
My Goat, Kelly, Burleigh Heads champ, didn’t just sign for Former, which would have been the “cool” thing to do. He started designing and sewing his own clothes instead and started up his own Kool brand.
Very Kore of him.
I assume Chas receives fashion guidance from his better half.
There are three of us as I’m watching the Sabalenka v Osaka match while I work. I’ll dust off and string my racquets again if doubles are a possibility.
Sabalenka has such dominatrix vibes. No idea about her actual tennis playing – good apparently
Her tennis is solid these days. No comment on these child friendly BG pages regarding other attributes.
Boobs?
She has a dog and a leash. Let your imagination run wild:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYor184o7VG/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
My Imagination is now fully restrained. I’m not into the Eastern European hard faces.
As with the fella who saw the photo of Dua Lipa and said that she had the look of a woman who would distract him so that her brother could steal his chickens, my Western European dna can only be attracted to soft features.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
What attracts me
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Miss Lipa is striking but I only have eyes for Mrs Madeoff who still has family in Germany….
most recent German I found. Julia Rommelt. Type her name followed by the word “nude” and see the joys of Western European goodness aided by the enhancements of western science. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Or Charleen Weiss. She didn’t need the science for her bosoms. All from the Germanic god.
Too young
Hey, I played tennis in high school and was once beaten 6-0 by a kid coached by Jimmy Connors, who watched from the stands as his little bastard pupil wore his warmup jacket the whole time we played and the only point I scored was when he double faulted.
Brutal, Tom. That kid had no sportsmanship.
You guys really love to put the boot in, once you have it in place.
I picked up a bit of tennis in my early 30s after having a desire to get back into it. (stopped at 10 years old because I was shit and stubborn)
I could only play doubles, as my knees were both compromised, but it was super fun and a good way to have a laugh with three other friends. Played at night strictly, because the heat here will kill you in the day and then the beers after a tennis session, as with football, were always extra sweet. I’ve since stopped playing. Will probably get into Pickleball one day, as that seems to be where things are going
When you go over Los Angeles / Malibu / Palisades on Google maps it’s always amazing the sheer amount of homes that have a tennis court. It was such a big part of ‘mercican society in the 60s and 70s.
tennis>golf
zionism is a death cult