Kalani Lattanzi clings to the flying trapeze as he's launched across the yawning void.

Brazilian bodysurfer stuns world by riding giant wave at notorious Hawaiian outer-reef Jaws, “Kalani goes into the ocean where fish are afraid!”

Derek Rielly

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Kalani Lattanzi belongs to the knuckle-duster-in-your-face school of surfing!

A Brazilian bodysurfer, Kalani Lattanzi, has stunned the world by taking on Maui outer-reef Pe’ahi, aka Jaws, with just a pair of swim fins, a hand plane and a tight-fitting pair of trunks that barely contain, let’s be frank, the hatbox that is his loins.

Lattanzi, who is twenty-seven, and who now lives on Maui, gathered all his virile strength to swim out on November 2, a little after lunch, on the first real Jaws day of the season.

Lattanzi rode three waves before entering and, importantly, exiting the void on the wave filmed below.

He describes the experience as “beautiful” and says it was the best barrel of his life.

When BeachGrit called, Lattanzi was deep in construction work, three hours or thereabouts to go before he might engage in conversation, although in other interviews he has described Jaws as being a little easier to ride than the devil that is Portugal’s Nazaré.

Last year, Lattanzi released his biopic Kalani: Gift from Heaven, which follows his adventures there.

“Kalani goes into the ocean where fish are afraid,” says one fan.

More to come.

Jordan, looking like a Martian in his Jozi hotel room.

South African superstar Jordy Smith reveals his (almost) descent into COVID-lockdown madness in a Jozi hotel room, “It was as full of the vibrations of power as machines which rout out grooves in wood!”

Derek Rielly

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But only a disdainful pinprick! Surfs first South African winter in fourteen years…

In the second of a series of five-minute films, the South African superstar Jordy Smith, who turns thirty-four at his next birthday, reveals how he and his wife extracted themselves from America just as that country was starting to reek with COVID; a fundamentally grim place to be for a boy and his girl from Cape Town.

A flight to Johannesburg followed by two weeks in a hotel room that had a way of extracting his vitality, like clotting blood; this little airless box soon filled with a combined odour of clam shells, salt marshes and sicking brews, much like an unwashed corpse.

But enough with the niceties!

A thirteen-hour drive and Jordy is home in Cape Town, bobbing like a cork in as good waves as you’ll anywhere in the world.

“In the South African winter you don’t want to be anywhere else but right there,” he says.

Next episode: Watch Jordan play with danger at Jeffreys Bay!

Dane goes for broke!

Go-for-broke former world #4 surfer Dane Reynolds releases new riposte to WSL’s “pandering bullshit that’s exploiting surfing!”

Derek Rielly

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"Even when the conditions are shit, riding waves is the best thing in the world," says Dane.

Dane Reynolds, the thirty-six-year-old father of three and former world number four surfer from Bakersfield in California,  has released his latest riposte to what he calls the WSL’s “pandering bullshit.”

The eleven-minute short, called Literally and hosted, ad-free, on Vimeo, is lovingly arranged and contains the flavours of all the local surfers that Dane can draw upon, although he quickly outshines the product. 

“Even when the conditions are shit, riding waves is the best thing in the world,” he writes.

Original and delightful, as always, and, as always, a world away from the culty and churchy WSL. 

"Do you know this boy?"

“Psychotic surf dad” kidnaps judge after junior surfing contest dispute!

Derek Rielly

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Surf Dad: The Revenge is a claustrophobic, one-set short that demonstrates a suavely piercing touch of erotic wit and agonised pathos. 

Luke Cederman, the pro-ish surfer, comedian, star of our Once Upon a Time in New Zealand wetsuit film, the screw-footed king of NZ’s most famous lefthand point and proprietor of the Instagram account @raglandsurfreport, has parodied, beautifully, the ghastly notion of the surf dad. 

In the space of three-minutes and thirty-nine seconds, Cederman skewers those daddies who struggle to veil their own uncorked surf dreams.

Surf Dad: The Revenge is a claustrophobic, one-set, two-person short that, quickly, demonstrates a suavely piercing touch of erotic wit (“I’m not going to suck your dick, man!” Cederman, who plays both characters, says) and agonised pathos. 

“Three point five out of ten… you’re just going to sit there tell me that four full bank off the tops… a three-point five?”

Essential. 

The wild melee!

VALS strike back! Drop-ins, board-punching, spitting in wild Oceanside surf fight! Pro surfer “jumped and spat on by kooks” vows to take-up Brazilian jiujitsu!

Derek Rielly

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VALS gone wild!

A former NSAA collegiate champion, Jacob Szekely, has released footage of three VALS beating hell out of his board after a flurry of drop-ins etc at Oceanside, California. 

Szekely, twenty-five, and notorious for his own run-ins with the fuzz, boozed assault, theft etc, was with two pals, Tex Mitchell and Liam Gloyd, a little over one week ago draining clips, when three VALS start sawing off pieces of their waves and falling off on top of ‘em.

Words follow, VALS state they’re from Riverside, an inland town eighty-one miles from Oceanside, but surf it regularly and therefore are allowed free movement through the crowd.

Szekely, who lives in nearby Encinitas, has since vowed to take up Brazilian jiujitsu, which may or may not be effective in a ocean environment. 

Essential.

Photo: Justin Jay/@justinjayphoto
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