"Even when the conditions are shit, riding waves is the best thing in the world," says Dane.

Dane Reynolds, the thirty-six-year-old father of three and former world number four surfer from Bakersfield in California,  has released his latest riposte to what he calls the WSL’s “pandering bullshit.”

The eleven-minute short, called Literally and hosted, ad-free, on Vimeo, is lovingly arranged and contains the flavours of all the local surfers that Dane can draw upon, although he quickly outshines the product. 

“Even when the conditions are shit, riding waves is the best thing in the world,” he writes.

Original and delightful, as always, and, as always, a world away from the culty and churchy WSL. 

Daddy-hood, the Olympic thing, banged up knee, the compelling and perennial joys of a patriarchal monogamous marriage etc. 

In the first of a series of five-minute films, the South African superstar Jordy Smith, who was unable to hustle his shoeshine box at the Tokyo Games cause of a date with a knee surgeon, has revealed “the incredible highs and devastating lows experienced in his life over the past 18 months.” 

Daddy-hood, the Olympic thing, banged up knee, the compelling and perennial joys of a patriarchal monogamous marriage etc. 

“In Episode 1, Jordy finds himself locked down in Hawaii when the world begins to shut down. Fortunately, the forecast showed non-stop swells approaching the North Shore where Jordy spends the next 2 weeks scoring firing waves before being forced to board a repatriation flight back to South Africa.”

The right touches on the right button.

An indispensable elevator to raise the phallus.

Essential.

Surfing's future flicks on the lights… 

Here’s a stat: add Jackson Dorian, Sky Brown and Erin Brooks’ ages together and y’hit forty-two, seven years less than still-shredding Kelly Slater.

Recently, the little triumvirate, which, to use a bucolic metaphor, will drain the remaining honey from the wrinkled fig that is the world tour in five years or so, spent several days working their chops at the Waco tank.

Also on the team was Luke Swanson, a little older at seventeen.

Fortunately, the shells fired by these cannons do not have homing warheads or atomic shells. Still, they must be causing a hell of a lot of damage to the psyches of, and particularly, the women on tour.

As mentioned earlier today, “There is going to be a total bloodletting on tour. These girls are going to be like the Momentum Generation, sweeping in and taking everyone out. It’s over.”

Come see these graceful little masterpieces at work.