"Teiki Ballian has enjoyed perhaps the
greatest surf life imaginable. He spent his childhood diving off
the side of charter yachts captained by his French father and
Martiniquais mother and into lineups the world over. Now, as the
new owner of Hollow Tree’s Resort in Sumatra, he enjoys unfettered
access to one of the world’s premier right-handers, Lance’s."
Meet: A Man Who Bought Himself a Precious
Slice of the Mentawais!
By Derek Rielly
This surfer was raised on a boat in the Caribbean
and the Mentawais. Now he owns a piece!
Most of us’ll end up, in some form, working under the
whip of an overseer whom we despise and secretly wish we
could kidnap, sacrifice and eat.
How much office bullshit will you stomach before you stick the
truck in gear and take off into the sunset?
I did a dozen years.
Got out. Poor but free, even if I gotta live on sugary
strawberry jam and Cheerios.
Teiki Ballian, who was raised on his parents boat in the
Caribbean, first, and, later, in the Mentawais, was never going to
wind out his days in the ol office cube.
In this short film by Gabriel Novis, we meet Teiki, who is now
thirty three, and the new owner of the $US200 a
night Hollow Trees Resort, in front
of the iconic righthander that was first discovered by Yamba surfer
Lance Night in the 1991.
(Note to readers: call it Lance’s Right.)
“Teiki Ballian has enjoyed perhaps the greatest surf life
imaginable. He spent his childhood diving off the side of charter
yachts captained by his French father and Martiniquais mother and
into lineups the world over. Now, as the new owner of Hollow Tree’s
Resort in Sumatra, he enjoys unfettered access to one of the
world’s premier right-handers, Lance’s,” writes Novis.
Surfs good, too, he don’t leave any lip undone.
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Cherubic Conner, right, who reads scripture
when he's not sinking his rails, and little bro Parker, who
daydreams of living in a trailer.
Watch: Conner and Parker Coffin’s three-day
North Shore vacay!
By Derek Rielly
Lifestyles of the rich, famous and
beautiful-ish!
Who’s your favourite Coffin? Is it the older
brother Conner, who is so beautiful you’d like to harvest his body
organs, or little Parker, whose skin looks like grey liver
mush?
I’ve always been a Conner fan although he did admit to me, once,
that he sent Parker to ER when he smashed his ugly mug into a fire
hydrant.
This edit, by their lifelong filmer Ryan Perry, shows the
brothers on a three-day furlough from the California winter and
into a six-foot North Shore swell.
Of course, the edit is longer than necessary, eleven minutes,
but this is the new way of the video vlog, and similar to the
formless, and endless, hours of podcasting.
The pair surf Haleiwa because of the Backdoor Shootout going on
at the Pipe stretch, they eat at Pupukea Grill and at one point
Kelly Slater makes a cameo, the old man scanning the brothers over
like a tray of deli slices.
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Liam O'Brien don't need no trick lighting.
Billy Lee-Pope
Watch: Australia’s (maybe) Next Big Thing
in “I’ll Make you Hot Till You’ve Had Enough!”
By Derek Rielly
Hoo-ee, a swinging Gen Z tail-slinger…
Here we examine the Australian surfer Liam O’Brien, a
three-time WQS event winner in 2018, in a slick
two-and-a-half minute edit he sliced himself.
Liam’s filmer Billy Lee-Pope sent it to me a week or so ago but
while I pondered its suitability for patrons of this website, it
started popping up everywhere else. Surfer,
Stab, and so on.
I said to Billy, if he could get the keys to the file and change
the song to something more appropriate to our audience, I would
loose on BeachGrit.
After a short consultation, I chose a Rick James classic.
The song, called Give It To Me Baby, encapsulates
Liam’s approach to waves.
Give it hard and give it fast. Oowee!
When I came home last night You wouldn’t make love to me You went fast to sleep You wouldn’t even talk to me You said I’m so crazy Coming home intoxicated I said I just wanna love you I just wanna love you baby That is why I’m so elated
C’mon girl, give it to me baby Give it to me baby Give it to me baby (give it to me baby), I betcha I’ll make you hot till you’ve had enough Give it to me baby (give it to me baby) Just give it to me baby Give it to me baby (give it to me baby), I betcha I’ll make you hot till you’ve had enough
Give it to me Give me that stuff that funk that sweet that funky stuff (say
what) (Give it to me) Give me that stuff that funk that sweet that funky stuff (say
what) Give it to me, give it to me Give it to me, give it to me Give me that stuff That sweet, funky stuff Yoh ho, aw
(Give to me, baby)
When I was high as the sky Out all night just dancing You say let’s go home (c’mon Rick, I’m tired, let’s go
home) That’s the time I start romancin’ You say “how can I love you?” (how can I love you,
baby?) “When your body keeps on moving” I say “wait til I squeeze you” (oh) Maybe then you’ll start to groovin’ (c’mon girl)
Give it to me baby (give it to me
baby) Give it to me baby (give it to me baby), I betcha I’ll make you hot like you had enough Give it to me baby (give it to me baby) Just give it to me baby Give it to me baby (give it to me baby), I betcha I’ll make you hot like you had enough
Give it to me Give me that stuff that funk that sweet that funky stuff (say
what) (Give it to me) Give me that stuff that funk that sweet that funky stuff (say
what) Give it to me, give it to me Give it to me, give it to me Give me that stuff That sweet, funky stuff Yoh ho, aw
(Hey Girl) Give it to me what you say Give it to me what you say (Give it to me) what you say (Give it to me) what you say (Hey girl) Give it to me what you say Give it to me what you say Give it to me Give it to me (hey girl) Give it to me what you say Give it to me what you say Give it to me Give it to me (hey, girl) Give it to me what you say Give it to me right away Give it to me Give it to me (hey, girl) Give it to me what you say Give it to me what you say Give it to me
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Koa Rothman, the sweetness in this Cloudbreak
takeoff overshadows something bitter, dangerous, like sugar poured
over absinthe.
Full-length Feature: Koa Rothman’s This is
Livin’ The Movie!
By Derek Rielly
"I hope you like it! Get fucked!"
The Hawaiian Koa Rothman, who is the handsome son of
Fast Eddie Rothman and who has a stomach like wooden slats, has
been the surprise packet in the surge of weekly YouTube
vloggers.
Without formal training, Koa has revealed himself to be sharp
enough to ad lib his way through each episode of his day-to-day
life as a pro surfer.
In today’s reveal, Koa and his best friend Jack Germain, who
films and edits, have sliced all the highlights from the last six
months into what they call This is Livin’ The
Movie.
Watch “super swells” hitting Fiji, Africa, Indonesia and so
on.
I watched the whole thirty minutes this morning while drinking
strawberry Yoo-Hoos and sitting in my new custom satin-covered
beanbag chair.
And I enjoyed it very much.
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Craig Anderson, the South African now living
in Newcastle, Australia, with three lovely friends.
Watch: Craig Anderson in “He’s a nice man
who only wants to diddle you!”
By Derek Rielly
Come stroll through the gardens of Craig Anderson's
(and pals') beachfront palais…
In this compelling short made by the magazine,
Monster Children, we bounce on the knee of Craig
Anderson, the South African who has made Australia, and
specifically Newcastle, his home.
Craig is one of the the most alluring and memorable
characters in surf of the last twenty-five years. I once
watched a Jew supplicate himself before Craig at the Wailing Wall
in Jerusalem; the day before at the Jaffa Gate, American girls had
swooned as Craig roared past on a Segway, your reporter in the
hottest pursuit!
Craig lives in a multi-level beachfront-ish home with his three
friends Lewie Dunne, Teale Vanner and Madeline Rae. Lewie and
Teale are pro-level surfers, although not on the
million-dollars-a-year tier Craig used to occupy when he applied
stickers of mountains to his boards, while Madeleine is a pedagogue
for little children.
Lewie has a dungeon decorated with plastic palm trees, Craig has
the penthouse and the remaining couple nest in the middle
somewhere.
At one point, Lewis goes through Craig’s clothes, thrilled as he
catches a glimpse of himself in Craig’s shiny black leather
outfit.
