A new gameshow certain to leave you puzzled!
I am a real sucker for radio gameshows and particularly one that plays here in the United States called Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! Oh my enjoyment is, no doubt, a product of my advanced age but I squeal with delight if I happen to get in the car when it’s playing.
The format is very simple. A funny host, Peter Sagal, runs through the news headlines with a panel of almost-celebrity “contestants.” They riff and joke and I sit in my car squealing with delight at everyone’s wittiness. A fun time and I also learn a little something along the way.
And so this morning, as I was scrolling though various surf news, and a few Stab headlines popped up and a few The Inertia headlines popped up and I was having trouble telling the difference between the two which made me think of this game here. Is it Stab or The Inertia? All you have to do is guess correctly and you’ll win Jen See’s voice on your answering machine. Are you ready?
Race, Representation and How the Surf Industry Can Save Itself.
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
How Santa Cruz Has Changed and Why Jason Collins is Moving to Alaska
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
How Rob Machado’s Freesurfing Fate Was Decided by a Sponsorship Contract
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
Why Japan’s Oceanic Olympic Future is Misguided and Harmful
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
Why Jaleesa Vincent Might be Just What Women’s Surfing Needs
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
Decades of Surf-Misogyny Finally Reversed at Keramas
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
Five Reasons Why New Zealand in Autumn is a Desirable Experience
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
Have a Cocktail in Santa Monica and Support A Walk on Water Surf Therapy
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
More difficult than you thought, no? Please list your guesses in the comments below (no peeking) and Jen See will call the winner up and leave an outgoing message that your friends and family will hear every time you screen them.
“Hi. This is Jen See from BeachGrit and you are trying to reach ________ who is not answering his phone right now because he doesn’t really like you. Leave a message after the beep. Thanks!”
Good luck!
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1. SJW Weekly
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6. Fuck You I’m Fucking Going Magazine
7. Boring Obvious Bullshit You Would Never Read Except You Bricked Your Phone At Security In-Flight Magazine
8. Stab
Pretty sure I got them all exactly right, so please don’t say anything on the message that will embarrass my mom.
Hold on. I thought BeachGrit was a fake version of Stab? Does that mean Stab is a fake version of the Inertia? We are all fucken fakes.
FORGOTTEN: SURF FILMS ARE IMPORTANT AND FUN!
And great to watch together!
(Is it Stab or The Inertia?)
Touché!
Not even. Neither make bold statements nor use exclamation.
Bonus points for the Dez/Chaz reply
Sounds like these cunts ripped off a long running Aussie TV show called “Have You Been Paying Attention”. Knowing how you yanks fucked up the translation of every good Aussie show (“Wilfred”, “Rake”, etc) I will imagine this is just a shitty decaf version.
Also, they are all Stab.
who shit in your cereal…? mate (I’m assuming you’re Australian) and wasn’t wilfred a kiwi show?
All great questions. I’ll assume you’re american and like NPR
S
I
I
S
S
S
I
I
No matter who wins, we’ve all already lost!
1- I
2- S
3- S
4- I
5- S
6- I
7- I
8- I
whats “the Inertia”?
It’s the bible for a new breed of surfer that’s oh so much better then you or I.
1) Inertia
2) Inertia,
3) Stab
4) Inertia
5) Stab
6) Inertia
7) Stab
8) Inertia
ah fark it, im going all STAB
Oh ha ha I play this game literally every day! It’s the best, really.
I used to have an outgoing message that said please dont leave a message – just text me instead. People got mad. I was called unprofessional. So now, I just ignore voicemails altogether.
Happy now?
I don’t even have voicemail. And I’m alright with that.
Question words in headlines – real or faux?
Tricky Dick, they’re all Stab. You’re going to need to change my message to:
“Hi. This is Jen See from BeachGrit and you have dialed the wrong number and mistakenly called the phone of Herr Karl Von Fanningstadt. If you are interested in giving this strange man free surf gear (preferably surfboards that go fast) and/or a lifetime supply of Diet Dr. Pepper, and haven’t hung up already, leave a message with your details after the beep and he will get back to you… probably not, though. Thanks!”
Now I’m just imagining you speed pumping down the line belching like a goddamn carbonated Bacchus from all the Diet Dr Pepper.
Not too far off from most sessions, sadly… catch wave, pump, pump, pump, maybe cutback (con major sprayage), pump, fall, get on board, cough/burp/throw up in mouth a little bit, repeat…
dr pepper? people drink that swill?
I thought that only happened in the movies.
You’ve never been to Texas? There it’s the blood of Christ and consuming it is as important as breathing!