ADS will be Brazil's second surfing world champion and first-ever Pipe Master!
Is there anything better than the title coming down to Pipe? Such a singular wave, so close to shore, all that power slamming into the inside bowl.
The greatest show on Earth. Really.
Not so much fun if you live on the North Shore. Constant gridlock during the waiting period. Basically the reason I ruined my shoulder. Hopped the bus to the beachpark with a pair of flippers on a lay day, got humbled real bad by a slightly overhead wave. No car, no phone, my wife had to drive out from Bishop Street to get me to the ER. Might make for a solidly frivolous suit, should the WSL fail to learn the meaning of fair use and we need some future leverage.
Pipe’s got a lot to look forward to. Always the local drama, never enough wildcards. The contest only exists in its current form because of a series of variances the Parks Dept has no right issuing. Bunch of people pretty upset with that.
Last year’s application claimed the Triple Crown, of which Pipe is a part, provides a billion dollars, with a b, worth of exposure for Hawaii. It must be nice to just make shit up and have it taken as truth. Who am I kidding, I know it is. I do it myself, occasionally.
Derek sent me the world title race breakdown (scroll to bottom), which I assume is true. It’s not that I can’t do the math, it’s that I’m too lazy. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s not like it matters.
Smart money’s on Mick, he’s been here before. But my heart goes out to sweet Adriano. Love to hate him, but no one works harder.
I just realized, I’ve never seen ADS free surf. That’s crazy.
I adore an underdog, and so de Souza’s my boy, and here’s how I see it playing out…
A series of unreal semi early season swells blow the sand off the reef, epic sessions go down as the circus trickles into town. Lei Lei’s sees our sport’s best and brightest dining on overpriced mediocrity masquerading as quality. The Surfer Bar continues to be lame, but guys go because they’re horny and that’s where the trim is. Instagram explodes with lifestyle shots and asses and quivers and pictures of poke.
Swell hype spreads, it’ll be insane on the 14th.
Lay day, hype, lay day, hype.
The contest runs on Wednesday at glorified Gums. ADS works his way through the early rounds. Swell finally shows, but it’s a day late. No contests on Sunday!
Fanning goes out in round three, then heavy trades and rain show up for work.
Perrow plays chicken with the waiting period. A bump shows and they’re in the water! Six foot, windy, whompy backwash.
But, “There’s some gems out there, Joe!”
It’ll be a Llama/de Souza final, and Adriano will put on a majestic display of tactical hassling. Poor Filipe won’t withstand.
And so the season closes.
Not with a bang, but a whimper.
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ADS deserves it. Felipe will get it. Gabe will learn from it. Mick will abandon it.
BeachGrit / Chas / Rory – can you please write an article about the new “mini claim” that is so popular now among WSL elite — the one that mimics a second or two of masturbation? I’m sure you guys can put an interesting and hilarious spin on this one, and hopefully bringing light to it will contribute to the demise of this particularly ridiculous (and sick) claim.
I will enjoy to witness a steady flow of Brazzo World Champs and the whinging that’ll ensue.
Porta might still milk a few Aussie titles for his boys in there, but it’ll get him also replaced with a Ricardo Toledo’s friend…
In 8 years time I’ll be fed up with the Brazzo status quo (and the change in priorities rule stating the guy who burns the other has right of way) and I’ll champion for the young dejected Aussies and Seppos… Then dementia will settle in and I’ll just think of the colour brown as my happy place while my children commit me to to a nursing home complaining I started playing with turds!
Nailed it Parker. I enjoyed the break down of days immensely.
I saw ADS free surfing earlier in the year. My first thought was wow that local ripper surfs really good. It didn’t blow me away though.
Fanning for the win, ADS for the hearts, Gabby for the tears, and Toledo for another 0.00 heat total
i can understand why i think Toledo didn’t surf the heat that day at Teahupoo, he had already secured a better result than expected and it was super sketchy, but i wonder how badly he may come to regret it if he just misses out on the title.
I thought it was due to the stitches in his elbow?…. Conflicting stories….. I smell a bullshit trail trail, and it leads to Toledo’s mouth
why all this hate on Toledo, his Instagram is not as cool or hip?
No hate, just facts
I swear I’ve read here more than once this year that Kolohe’s gunna win one soon. With that in mind, I’m disregarding this article and going with Gabby or Owen.
I sniggered the whole way through that, in a good way. Can’t help thinking every-time I read Rory Parker: the guys double income no kids living on Kauai, imagine how brutally grim he’d be as Joe Sixpack with four screaming rug rats waiting for him after punching the clock in North Dakota.
Don’t go changing Rory.
I’m still backing Gabby baby. That slack-jawed shock when Italo comboed him, that’ll burn deep. He’s got more to play for. And the chops to back it up at Pipe.
are you fucken kidding long tom, Rory’s grim BECAUSE he isn’t in North Dakota clock punching. Get him working on construction for $15 an hour somewhere it snows from November, and he’d be happy as a clam. Or whatever shellfish it is you folks eat over there.