…for big waves, presidential primaries and the
possibility of becoming superman…
Twenty-ish years old and already the middle Florence
bro has accumulated much street wisdoms. He ain’t one
for getting looped but ain’t afraid of a beer or two either. He
realises the gift his big bro has for gals (even if John don’t) and
his eyeballs will protrude and oscillate wildly when he sees
big waves.
BeachGrit likes! Let’s French!
What are your favourite sounds?
I like the sound of the waves when I go to sleep. We grew up
directly opposite the beach and it was always there. You don’t even
realise that you like that sound until you stay the night somewhere
where you can’t hear it. It’s an addicting sound. It’s a rumbling.
There’s a constant static roar and then you’ll hear the sets
break… purrrraaah… yeah, that must’ve been a big one. If
it’s really big and you can really hear the big ones and the
windows shake a little bit, that excites me. It’s a little harder
to sleep when you know it’s going to be big in the morning and then
it’s calming when it’s summertime and it’s just hitting the beach…
super slow.
Tell me about where you live now…
We live directly next to the lifeguard stand at Pipe, right on
the beach. My bedroom is in the middle. I share a bedroom with my
younger brother Ivan. We have a bunk bed. He’s in the top bunk, I’m
on the bottom bunk. It’s a little cave.
In your reading, what books have moved
you?
It’s hard to explain books because after you read one, you’ll
always say that was the best book I’ve ever read. But then you read
the next one and you’re, like… that one… was the favourite
book I’ve ever read. Then you read another one and that is. As you
read the next one you forget about the one before. I’ve never read
a book I didn’t like ’cause after the first chapter, if I don’t
like it, I just put it down. The ones that I finish are the ones
that instantly drag you in. I read all the Game of Thrones
books. I finished ’em a couple of months ago. Those things are… so…
sick. I seriously finished them in a month, I read every one,
there’s seven of ’em.
When do you read?
Right before I go to bed or after surfing, whenever you have
time to relax and lay down for a second. Especially in airports.
That’s when you really fly through them. I get through, in a
session, maybe a hundred pages. I never fall asleep reading. People
say they get sick reading in a car but that’s my favourite time to
read cause car rides are… boring.
What book inspired you to read when you were a
child?
The first book I read, The Lion, the Witch and the
Wardrobe when I was in third grade (six years old). Before
that I hated reading. My teacher gave it to me and said, just read
this book, maybe you’ll be more psyched on reading after this And I
read it, and there’s like seven of those, and, she was right, I
…so… psyched on it. And… boom… I read all that series. My
grandpa reads a ton so he’s always sending me the books he
finishes. He likes the same kinds of books that I like.
What is heaven for you?
When the waves are firing at home in late winter. Pipe’s going
off and everyone’s tired of surfing already ’cause it’s been, like,
a week and it’s me and my friends cruising and we’ve surfed all day
and relaxing, drinking a couple of beers. You look around, well, I
do anyway, and say, yup, this is exactly how I want to live.
What is the most remarkable thing you’ve seen in big
waves?
I’ve seen some crazy stuff John’s done in person. John’s always
blowing minds getting barrels. Koa’s last wave in Tahiti was pretty
baffling. The Code Red swell (August 27, 2011) was the sickest
thing I’ve ever seen in big waves. I love how they’re all eating
shit on ’em. And these are the types of waves when people make ’em
everyone says, “Oh, if you’d fallen you would’ve died for sure.”
But, then, those guys were eating shit on the gnarliest waves
possible and surviving perfectly. Nate’s (Fletcher’s) wave. Think
about it. If he had made that wave, everyone would’ve said,
“There’s no way you would’ve survived if you hadn’t made it. You
would’ve died, f’sure.” But he ate shit in the gnarliest part and
then…fucken… handled it. That’s the sickest
part. When they get the bomb, travel, travel, travel and then… eat…
shit. Wipeouts are my favourite.
Does it give you confidence in your own pursuit of big
waves seeing guys eat shit and nothing
happening?
Definitely. Whenever you’re going into a big swell, your mind
is…it’s a constant little stress case mind battle, I could die, I
could die, I could die, but then the thing about those guys is
that’s way gnarlier than anything I’ve ever surfed so it’s fate
whether you die or not. You don’t have a choice. Those guys were
surviving, so fuck…
What’s the gnarliest wave you’ve
ridden?
Surfing Chopes. I haven’t had gnarly tow in experience out
there, really, eating it really bad on a big one, but just the
paddling sessions I’ve had with my brothers and Koa (Rothman) and
Eli (Olson) and Kiron (Jabour), those have been the scariest. And
surfing Himalayas. We got caught inside on a fucking 30-footer last
winter and that was the gnarliest thing I’ve ever been through. I
made it through the back but I watched Eli get sucked over the
falls on the biggest wave ever. Hollllly shit!
How would you describe the hierarchy between the three
brothers?
We’re all even to each other. John’s obviously way ahead of me
and Ivan performance-wise, I feel like. He has the super
competitive drive. He loves the contests whereas I… hate contests.
I can’t stand them. I’d rather chase a swell and surf by myself in
bigger waves than go grind it out in the CT. Ivan’s the same way,
kinda. But then, Ivan has a sicker style. His style is way sicker
me or John’s. We each have our little pluses. John is a super
human.
Describe Ivan’s style.
I don’t even know how he’s so smooth, like, Tom Curren and then
he has that little drop-knee like…that guy…that air guy… with the
long, curly hair and he kinda drop knees…
Craig Anderson…
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he has a sick little drop-knee thing…
How would you describe the personality types of the
brothers?
Ivan is a serious little guy. Very serious little face. I’m more
of the sarcastic one who’s making a joke out of everything and then
John is just right in between. He can be super mature, just ’cause
he has to deal with so many interviews and business-like stuff, but
then at the same time he’s more immature than me and
Ivan… especially when he gets drunk.
What does he do when he’s boozed?
He looks like a little kid. He looks like a five year old.
What’s the worst insult you’ve ever
received?
I’ve never been super super rousted or else I didn’t even take
it to heart.
What’s the cruellest thing John or Ivan has said to
you?
I can tell you the cruellest thing ever done to me. When I was
10, John threw a rock at my face and knocked out all my front
teeth. It was completely by accident. He meant to throw the rock at
me but he didn’t mean to knock out all my teeth. He threw it from
50 feet away. He had perfect aim somehow. I was bodysurfing and he
wanted to go up to the house and I said I wanted to stay
bodysurfing and then he wanted to get my attention so he started
throwing rocks at me. I remember, he was 50 feet away and he winged
it, and I watched it arc up and I was looking at it and I was,
like, ooh, that kinda looks like it’s coming at me and it was,
like, shit, it’s going to hit me and before I could even try and
dodge it the thing just smashed into my mouth. I was
crunching and I thought the rock had broken on my teeth so I spit
it all out and it was all my teeth. I ran up to the house…
What did Alex do?
She was all pissed. We put ice on my teeth but all the nerves
were exposed so the ice hurt super bad and then John got a spanking
or something. He got rousted super hard for that one. I felt bad
for him.
If you ever wanted to get under John’s skin, how would
you insult him?
Mmmmmm. Mmmmmm. By telling him he was cocky.
He doesn’t like that?
No, he doesn’t like that. Telling him he’s number one, “Oh,
sorry, sorry, John, you’re number one, you’re the guy, we’re
sorry!” (Laughter) That’s upsetting to him. He tries to play it
down, “Oh, you’re the guy, you’re the guy.” But he knows it’s
half-true so he can’t deny it…compleeeetly… but he doesn’t
want to be, he’s so modest that he gets super irritated that
someone thinks he’s cocky.
What’s right with the world?
I have no idea what’s right with the world? What do you think is
right with the world?
I think what’s right with the world is that everyone is
richer beyond their wildest imaginations and kids aren’t crippled
with polio and there’s no world war…
…that’s true…
…and there hasn’t been a nuclear explosion in 80
years…
Mmmmhmmm. Those are all pluses.
…and Obama’s president…
You think so?
Oh, I do.
I’ve never thought about presidents at all. I never focus on
such things.
To me, it indicates the strength of American society
when it elects someone as intellectual as Obama…twice…
I was actually thinking it would be sick if they chose the
president by a Gladiator’s tournament. The guys have to be super
smart but super good at warfare fighting stuff, too. Like they have
to fight their way to the top. They put ’em through a maze kinda
thing straight into a battle thing so that our president would be,
like, the gnarliest fighter and (italics) the smartest. Then
there’s not some guy just giving orders. He could go and destroy
(italics) if he wanted to.
What do you like most about yourself?
I seem to be able to get along with people. I guess that’s a
plus.
What do you find hard?
Airs. I can’t do airs, surfing.
At what level can’t you do airs. Can you land a straight
air, a little air rev or are you bereft of wings?
I’ve landed three air reverses in my whole life.
Where does the problem lay, in the mechanics or the lack
of desire?
First, I never thought of them. I didn’t care about ’em and then
the way people started doing airs, like John, Matt and Albee, those
things are actually nuts and then I started trying to do airs. And
I just realised that I was a complete failure at them. The
mechanics are foreign to me. I can get myself in the air but no
matter what, when I land on my board, I’m eating shit.
Is there anything you wonder about?
I wonder why I can’t be a super hero.
Do you want to be a super hero?
Yeah. I would like to be Superman. I wonder why there’s none of
those in the world. No straight super-humans. How sick would that
be?
Oh, it would be a thrill!
I’m bummed I can’t be a super… human. Like the Spartans in Halo
or straight Superman himself: laser vision, indestructible. How
sick would that be? There’s nothing like that, there’s no way you
could possibly beat that.
I wonder if life might seem unsatisfying without danger
or fear.
I guess that’s true. There’d have to be some flaw involved. But
I think it would be amazing, too. If you ever got frustrated you
could destroy whole trees. You could destroy an entire village
(with nobody in it).
That would be satisfying.
Yes, that would be satisfying.
You are so wise for a professional
surfer.
(Mid-level shriek) Ha!
I don’t think I’ve ever encountered such
wisdom…
Thank you, sir.
(Editor’s note: This story appeared in a slightly longer
form in the print edition of Stab magazine. Again, we repackage an
recycle! Like Jon Rose and his magic water! And Vissla, of
course!)
