Newly anointed World Surf League surfer Dusty Payne and the joys (supermodels) and not-joys of sex (ass)…
It’s a Christmas miracle. A Hanukkah gift! The red-headed surfer from Maui whose Lost Atlas Mexico section influenced every surfer from Dane Reynolds and beyond has qualified for the WSL. Dusty won the Reef Pro (Haleiwa) and finished second at Sunset (Vans World Cup) and rocketed form 24th to number 10.
Who knows what he’ll do at Pipe! Maybe a world-title spoiler! Either way, he’s a sure thing for the Triple Crown.
Dusty, who is 25 now but will turn 26 just two days after Christmas, embodies enthusiasm. It’s in his surfing, it’s in the way he shoos away writers, it’s in the way he administers and operates his sex organs.
The little virgin boy
I was 17 years old and still in high school. The chick was older, 31 actually, just this old badger cruising around home. I lasted about a second. It went down in this car park at this spot we all used to hang at. I thought she was pretty damn hot. But I was 17 and she was my first chick.
Can I say this? I’m more into intelligent chicks. I can’t deal with stupid chicks. If they’re super dumb it’s a major turn off. I like people with a good head on their shoulders. Everyone likes a good body. With a head like mine, I can’t be picky but given the choice between a curvy Latino and the model, I’d take the model.
I swear, I’ve never been on a proper serious date. I don’t know what to do.
Older chicks are cool. Young chicks can be so immature sometimes. Older chicks are straight to business.
Partners (how many)
I dunno. (More than 10?) I hope so. (More than 20?) I hope so. (More than 30?) I dunno, I haven’t kept count. It’s a good thing if you don’t keep count because then you’ll be disgusted in yourself.
Most erotic dream
I haven’t had one since I was young. I have the funniest story though. I was in the Mentawais with Granger (Larsen), (Mitch) Coleborn, Michel Bourez and Tanner Gudauskus or someone. There were three beds. Mitch was on one side, Granger in the middle and Michel on the other. Granger wakes up in the morning all rattled and I’m, like, “Fuck dude, what happened?”
He says, “Fuck. I had two wet dreams last night.” How do you have two wet dreams when you’re sleeping between two guys?
Having a supermodel after me. Just some rig walking up to me and being, “Yeah, come and talk to me.” I dream about it but it never happens.
Not really into it because I think the phone is tapped or there might be another chick on the line. In the flesh, it just sounds ridiculous and cheesy.
I just love to pump. Enthusiasm and energy in the sack is my trademark.
How does casual sex differ to relationship sex?
I’ve never had a relationship, so I don’t know.
They look good. I’m a fan, but real is better.
I don’t have any and I’ve never used one. No chick has ever pulled one out. If a chick did, I’d be kinda rattled, like, “I’m not good enough?”
Do you enjoy sex games that include asphyxiation and sadism?
I’ve had chicks screaming and scratching my back. Nothing too wild. I wasn’t into it. It hurt.
Contraception? Bring your own or the pill?
Always. Keep it safe, kids.
I’ve never been there. Why would god put a sewer so close to a playground? I’m definitely curious but I’ve never tried.
Bald or hirsute
Shave it up. Who wants to deal with a jungle?
Best time for sex
Whenever. It’s always a good time. Maybe not before a heat because you’ll get noodle legs. You’ll be too relaxed.
Never… Maybe if it was my best friend. Put into print that I would only do it if it was with Granger (Larsen).