Gimme: this $US4.8 million Pipe House

9 years ago

Got a few extra shekels rattling around in your trunks? Throw em at this! And evict Taj Burrow and Parko!

You want to be the number one Pipe local? It’s so easy! And it’s even easier ever since John John Florence bought himself and his fam a sprawling estate up the road at Log Cabins. Even Jamie O ain’t beachfront any more.

This four-bedroom, three-shitter at 59-385 Ke Nui Road, Banzai Pipeline, fulfils every North Shore dream. It’s the smaller of the two houses the Billabong team inflates every year and is where Taj Burrow and Joel Parkinson rest weary heads.

Recline in beige suede couch while the agent whispers in your ear, “This house effortlessly blends island style with indoor outdoor living, this home, perched on the beach above the World Famous Pipeline, is a treasure. Architecturally crafted accents combined with a contemporary aesthetic make this 4 bedroom residence, on 100â of sandy beach overlooking the beautiful blue ocean, a one of a kind property. With its iconic wave inspired design, this home is known as the the Blue Wave House. Quality finishes, outstanding design and the absolute best North Shore ocean front location.”

Ask real nice (or just tell ’em it ain’t a sale unless it’s yours) and hang onto that Bruce Irons’ gun that hangs in the upstairs master bedroom.

Contact the agent here!

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The issue of contests on the North Shore is just so vexed. Who doesn't wanna see the very best at the peak of their game in the world's best waves? But if you live there and every weekend during the winter season sees another event? Yeah, you might be a little bummed…

Is the Pipe Masters being run illegally?

By Rory Parker

9 years ago

North Shore locals sue ASP-Hawaii over "multiple permit breaches"…

I’m watching Pipe, you probably are too. And it’s great. Dudes are ripping, my Fantasy Surfer team is doing well (despite Melling Slater-ing Slater in Round One), but there’s a problem…

If you’re a fan of pro surfing you might be familiar with how, in previous years, the early rounds of the Pipe Masters were run concurrently; meaning two heats overlapping in the water, priority going to the first heat.

And that’s cool, the point was to ensure that minimal days on the North Shore were privatized and that the poor souls who dealt with the insane cost of living and low wages in Hawaii actually got to benefit from the the aloha tax reality of life in the islands.

Something strange is going on this year. Despite regulations that are clearly stated:

(d) Except with special permission from the Director and as noted on the permit, surf meets may not be held for more than four days. No heats shall be structured with less than four surfers, and man-on-man or one-on-one heats shall not be allowed (includes trials).

…the first round was run with only three guys in the water at a time. Now, government wording is always confusing so I’ll distill the essence. Four guys in the water, no exceptions. You might be able to hold a contest for more than four days, with special permission. But in no case can you run heats with less than four people. That period is important. Shit, even the overlapping heat format violates the letter of the law (though it, admittedly, conforms to the spirit.)

Yeah, but it’s no big deal, right? Except is is, read a little further and there’s this brilliant little sentence:

(17) Any permittee who knowingly and wilfully violates these rules and regulations shall not be allowed to apply for another permit for a one-year period.

At 15:30 in the Pupo/Monteiro heat, Peter Mel said, “The North Shore community has decided they have to have four surfers in the water and this is the way to keep it that way.” Sounds like “knowingly and wilfully violates these rules and regulations” to me.

The former tour surfer Pancho Sullivan is part of a coalition of residents who’ve taken it upon ’emselves to get ASP Hawaii to conform to the letter of their permits. And six weeks ago, they took ’em to court.

“The court case was to ensure that the rules are upheld, to get a temporary restraining order or injunction against the Pipeline Masters,” says Pancho. “That wasn’t the desired outcome but we were hoping that the ASP would adjust the format to make it work with a four-man priority system. They came in with economic statements they had some kid at NYU come up with waving around all the money they generate instead of, I guess, finding a way to adhere to the rules.”

Pancho emphasises that they weren’t trying to shut down the event but they did want an unambiguous ruling that states that you cannot knowingly break rules designed to protect local residents.

“We wanted the Triple Crown and the ASP to recognise that this is a community and it’s questionable how much money stays on the North Shore. Most of the team houses are owned by people who don’t live on the North Shore and most of the winnings go back to other parts of the world.”

What does this mean? No Pipe Masters next year? The WSL doesn’t need to follow the law in Hawaii? The “economic benefits” outweigh the cost to local residents so much that the City and County of Honolulu doesn’t feel it’s necessary to enforce their own laws?

I don’t know. According to the regulations currently available online, the law is being broken.

Pancho and his coalition aren’t anarchists. They don’t want to smash the system. But on a stretch of magical coastline that breaks for roughly five or six months of the year, and when most weekends have some kind of contest running, whether it’s surfing, bodysurfing or bodyboarding, there comes a point when it doesn’t feel so groovy any more.

“I live on both sides of the issue,” says Pancho. “I’ve been a competitor, I’ve been in a position where those events helped support me financially. But at the core of my belief system, this issue is bigger than just me. There’s a whole group of people who don’t benefit at all. They live out here because they love the beauty of the coastline, they love to surf and they want to have access to it. People tolerate it but not everyone’s thrilled about what goes on. If (the contests) become a platform for these multi-million dollar corporations to benefit and use the resources and the people don’t see a direct positive impact, then obviously some rules are good to have in place.”

When I emailed Dave Prodan, ASP VP of communications, he replied with: “All ASP events are conducted in compliance with state and local regulations with the appropriate permits obtained, which includes all events in Hawaii and on the North Shore.For reference, we’ve been running man-on-man heats at Pipe consecutively since 2008. ”

Source: http://www.honolulu.gov/rep/site/dpr/rules/Rules_Shorewater_Events.pdf

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The snowboard legend Travis Rice also happens to be a hungry surf fiend who just can't get enough! | Photo: Cole Barash

This year’s greatest surf explorer is…Travis Rice!

By Chas Smith

9 years ago

What do the waves of Russia, the Galapagos, Panama and even North Korea (almost!) have in common? Travis Rice!

The snowboard legend and all-around good guy also happens to be a hungry surf fiend who just can’t get enough.

Travis sits, sipping coffee pressed from a new-fangled gizmo, looks wistful.

“My greatest regret? That I didn’t have two bottles of vodka to trade for the bear pelt. Only two bottles! But I had none….”

He was in Kamchatka, a phallus that protrudes from far western Russia into the sea of Okhotsk, and he was surfing. Not just surfing either. Surfing a never before tested pointbreak that barrelled and spat. A never-before tried wave so far off the beaten path that only the most intrepid could taste her glory. He should have been snowboarding, probably. It is his job and he is one of the best in the world. But he was not. He was surfing.

A Russian trader on a beach closer to North Korea than to Moscow was the only witness. He and his bear pelt. And he was so thrilled by what he saw that he offered to trade it, his only friend, for two bottles of vodka, which Travis Rice did not have. The horror, the horror!

And it would have been wonderful to have that bear pelt but at least he had the wave. He has had many waves. Waves in the Galapogos, secret waves in Panama and around the San Blas islands. All over the Caribbean but mostly the Bahamas. The Tuomotus. And Tahiti. He even sailed his catamaran, the Falcor, from North Carolina to the land of iron warriors this summer. Surfing the entire way.

Yes, he should have been snowboarding, maybe.

But he was sailing. And surfing. And drinking rum from an old coconut husk. Travis Rice is this year’s greatest surf explorer and, now, he can always be found with two bottles of vodka.

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When the Strange Rumblings in Shangri La crew took the stage to accept the award for Movie of the Year, did their antics seem a little contrived and unnecessary? Perhaps. But if they set out to make a mark on the evening, then mission accomplished. Perhaps the most ironic consequence of the night was the assistance that the boys gave to the recent rebranding strategy of the ASP. Noah Deane caught a ton of shit for his profanity laden quip, but after all, he did say “Fuck the WSL”. Clooney and Nicholson pounding gin at the Golden Globes is charming, but apparently referencing prescription meds in front of a surf crowd is strictly verboten, Dion. Live it. Learn it... Later backstage, Australia's favorite track-suited aerialist got a friendly but firm talking to from surfing’s Cool Dad. | Photo: Justin Jay/IG @justinjayphoto/justinjay.com

Essential: Justin Jay on the North Shore

By Derek Rielly

9 years ago

You want to see what happens when one of the best shooters in the world goes to the North Shore? Photos so fresh!

New York City’s Justin Jay is a photographer who takes his work extremely seriously. Every year when he flies to the North Shore to independently cover the contest season, he carries a box of prints in his backpack to give to surfers he’s previously shot.

“I think it’s the right thing to do,” says the 41 year old from the Lower East Side, who has previously shot Jay Z, Outkast and P Diddy. “A picture does take a little bit of your soul in a sense, it’s why famous people wear sunglasses all the time. So if you take someone’s photo, you need to give something back, you have to make sure they get a print. Everyone has a fucking iPhone and no one has any physical prints any more. When you give someone a print from a year ago, they feel amazing.”

Justin’s game is simple enough.

“Whether I’m shooting Diddy or Jay-Z or Kelly or Joel I put myself in the eyes of a 13-year-old fan,” he says. “What would they like to see? There’s plenty of photos of Dane and Kelly ripping, but that’s not my game. I want to see the surfers before and after they surf, getting in fist fights, partying, eating breakfast.”

Justin says his game works ’cause he’s an outsider, because hasn’t been in the industry for so long that his eyes cloud over the minutiae of this awesome multi-generational gathering of the world’s best surfers.

The photos that are follow are from Justin’s sixth trip to the North Shore, most are only a few days old, where he is shooting for a photo book called Beach Access, although he ain’t in no hurry to get the thing on the press.

As he says, “my style of stuff lends itself to ageing. These are historical shots, rather than standard portraits. Plus, going back each year is like going to summer camp or winter camp, in this case, all the same faces, this great fraternity.”

See more of Justin Jay’s work here (Click!) and follow him on IG at @justinjayphoto

John John and Alex Florence 2014 Surfer Poll — In most award shows, the main focus is the announcement of the final award. At Surfer Poll however, there were two surfers who so unequivocally occupied the top two places that the unveiling of the number two spot became a de-facto crowning of the winner as well. All eyes were on John John. Number two was finally revealed and it was Kelly. A new King was crowned. Not a single person in the room could muster a justification to argue against this year’s winner. Well deserved. A class act. Period.

mick fanning and occy surfer poll 2014 — Mark Occhilupo presented several awards at Surfer Poll in front of a crowd of his fans and peers. Mick Fanning was certainly more at ease receiving an award than a visibly nervous Occy was at being on stage and handing them out.

Lyndie and Axel Irons — Lyndie Irons embodies all of the glamour, allure and tragedy of the Andy Irons legacy. She is essentially the Jackie Kennedy of surfing. Stunningly beautiful. Graceful and radiant. She’s also the widow of a larger than life figure and mother to the Irons successor. Watching Axel playfully run around backstage, I couldn’t help but think about all of the opportunity, the baggage, the love and the extraordinary genes that he must posses.

Proud father and Pipeline elder statesman Michael Ho anxiously watches Mason Ho’s Pipe Masters trial heat from the porch of a nearby Pipe patio. Mason made it to the semi’s, just missing out on a spot in the main event.

Mick Fanning and Taylor Knox — The current world champ jokes around with close mate and master of the rail Taylor Knox at the Rip Curl House.

Jack Robinson, Reef House, Oahu — Jack Robinson, just two weeks off turning 17, dropped by the Reef house unexpectedly. This permanently stoked grom was on his way to surf Jaws for the first time the following morning. With casual excitement, he asked Billy Kemper if he could borrow a board. His demeanor was similar to one neighbour asking another neighbor if they could borrow a cup of sugar for a cake that they were baking. Except in this case, the proverbial cake is one of the meanest waves on the planet and it could easily end his life.

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Let's classify Dane Reynolds and Kelly Slater. Dane is a type three and four, conforming to Chas Smith's script that a man can only be a maximum of two types. But Kelly? He is types one, four, five, and seven. A quadroon! | Photo: Morgan Maassen

What kind of man are you?

By Chas Smith

9 years ago

Are Dane Reynolds and Kelly Slater quadroons or simple mulattos? Chas Smith attempts to classify!

There are seven types of men. Only seven. And each man is one of these types or a mix of two of these types. Never three.

Type 1 (clown)

He wears baggy clown-like pants and a baggy t-shirt and a backward baseball cap. He drinks beer and after three gets extremely loud. He gets so loud that people move away from him, perceptibly. He wears a thick gold chain and he loves to watch mixed martial arts and his friends are all clowns too. He surfs during summer vacation and exchanges his thick gold chain for a shell necklace.

Type 2 (afraid)

He is timid and too thin or too fat. His voice is quiet and he doesn’t have an opinion on many things or he changes his opinion at the drop of a hat. He doesn’t drive a car because of potential car accidents. He doesn’t fly. He works at the local fussy coffee spot. He once had a girlfriend but that was twenty years ago when he was ten. He is allergic to gluten. He believes in global warming and the powerful stage presence of Ryan Gosling.

Type 3 (weird, predom: Dane Reynolds)

He loves horror movies. He listens to Henry Rollins spoken word albums on vinyl. He obsesses about linux and other internet technologies. He has a girlfriend who wears vinyl pants. He has a pet rat. His mother loved him too much and his father not enough. Early in life he believed his superior intellect would take him places in this life. When it only took him to a clerk job at a camera store it made him hate all those in positions of power. It also made him snide. He has never fought a man. He has slapped a woman.

Type 4 (jock, predom: Kelly Slater)

He is a jock, handsome with good bone structure and muscles that will turn a bit doughy if he doesn’t stay on top of a severe workout regime. He surfs very jocky on his board. Like he expects hurricane-force gales to knock him over. Girls are drawn to his handsome and his muscles and his friendly personality. He laughs at sitcoms. He is the anchor of modern man.

Type 5 (ethnic)

He is from Africa, Asia, Sub-Asia, South America, Central America, Mexico, the Middle East. He likes some sort of string-based/horn-based music that makes no sense. He is just passing time and enjoying the little things like grilled meat.

Type 6 (asshole)

Does many things on purpose to push the buttons of those around him. He dresses like an asshole and talks like one too. If a beautiful girl sitting in his company tells him that he is rude he takes a drag of his cigarette and blows smoke in her face. He was not attractive as a child but became attractive later in life. He goes to bed each night feeling smug about himself.

Type 7 (self-hating handsome)

He was born handsome and grew handsome and is still handsome but he has no other skill. Nothing. He is a model or a waiter or personal assistant. He can’t do anything well but is handsome so hates himself because he knows he can’t do anything well. He was too handsome, as a young person, to be weird so he feels perpetually removed from humanity. He curses his fate and others look at him and wonder, “What the hell is he doing?” He wonders as well but comforts himself in the arms of beautiful women but then hates himself for doing so.

Common mixes.

Successful artist (weird-asshole)

Construction worker (Dane Reynolds-ethnic)

Businessman (afraid-asshole)

Actor (self-hating handsome-asshole)

Clothing designer (afraid-asshole)

Cell phone salesman (weird-afraid)

Etc.

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