Is it racist to suggest that we need more spice, more imagination?
I poked fun, very gently, of Gabriel Medina’s post-full rote 10 celebration on social media recently, comparing his pose to Justin Bieber, and a person got angry. He said, “If it was an Australian or Hawaiian would not do this ridiculous comparison!!!” Which made me think about our delicate surf epoch.
The claim, as it were, has become synonymous with Brazilian surfers, fairly or not. To criticize claims is to, then, criticize Brazil, or worse, to be racist. It has become akin to saying, “I have lots of black friends but…” before making some prejudicial statement.
Now, I do not fall into the “surfers should be good and subdued sportsmen” camp. I love a good claim but that is trouble. Most claims being tossed out today, and Gab’s very much in this category, are unimaginative and bad. The arms in the air to standard vanilla pop “I’m the man” is so dull! So tired! And there is so much material to chose from. Brazil’s soccer stars regularly put on glorious theatrical shows after scoring goals. I would have loved to see Gab yank his singlet over his head and run around the beach before paddling back out. So fun!
Andy Irons once pulled out a shotgun and blew Dingo Morrison to bits. That was good. Gabriel could have done that. Or he could have moonwalked off his board or he could have whip and nae nae’d. He could have done almost anything and I would have applauded.
What he did do, though, was uninspired. And it pulled focus from an inspired air.
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At least Gabe has desisted from that air-wank claim that he was so beloved of there for a while
I just want to see the now NCAA-banned throat slash claim (that keeps getting Pac-12 receivers 15 yard penalties charged on the kickoff) migrate to surfing. Any claim invoking violence or sexual innuendo (how about a cum-on-my-face claim?) has great potential.
I hate a claim but then again I hate a no claim claim. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hate it all. Equally. I’m just old, tired and confused.
Fuck the WSL*!
*i’ll still watch it.
The funniest thing is seeing how fascist the media and surf fans are. Wanting to impose behavior to individuals. Fuck it if they want to claim or how they want to claim, it’s their problem. More ridiculous is to impose this “culture of the cool” to all surfers. This is an attempt to pasteurize behavior. Pathetic! If the racist word doesn’t fit, perhaps intolerant does, which is ironic considering the “we known better” attitude surfers in general have.
Toled0.0 Passion of the christ claim was legit. we need more of that.
wait… being a Brazilian Pro Surfer is considered a “Race”?
i like to give Medina the benefit of the doubt on claiming courtesy of his sick no claim spray a still celebrating Hedgehog in the channel at Teahupoo to keep priority the other year.
This is great. I got a few feathers ruffled on here when I said it would have looked cooler if he didn’t claim. If you don’t claim I think it says “I do this shit in my sleep, deal with it bitches”. But I for my comment I was called out. I would have said the same if anyone on tour did it, aside Dane, I’ve never seen him claim. Having said that one with some imagination wouldn’t go astray. Maybe the guys claiming the most lack imagination.
I do not remember discussions about claims when JJ claimed an alley oop at Keramas like a cheerleader. Or when Julian Bieber claimed like a girl the oop he did in Portugal or when he completed a 5 foot barrel at Pipe. Or when Mick did millions of claims after score 9´s doing “3 to the beach” surfing. They do not deserve an article as well? Claims only gain notoriety (or articles like that) when Brazilians are involved. It’s not hard to see that guys who make more claims on the tour are not Brazilians: Jordy, Mick, Julian, Ace, Kolohe, Bourez, Glenn… pick a name, the list goes on and on.
Oh please, look at who claims the most on tour De Souza. Pull your head out of your ass
I would agree with you if we were in 2009. Since we are not, go fuck yourself.
We have a tough guy here. Facts are facts, deal with it
I think someone should go through every heat surfed on tour this year, do a tally, and come back with some empirical evidence as to claim rates per surfer
I guess I will be back in 6 months, given data allowance and free time
Even John John ragged on himself and was admittedly embarrassed after claiming his Keramas oop, but the world forgives him because he never does it.
Claiming anything that isn’t epic is lame, regardless of nationality. Both JJF’s Keramas air or Medina’s backside rotator this week were both incredible and no one would fault either one for the claim afterwards – except for the fact that a Medina claim reel just from this season would last longer than your average CT heat. He’s worn out his welcome on the claim train. He’s in claim timeout in the corner with Kolohe and Jordy and De Souza.
New rule: you get 4 claims every season. Use them wisely – both in timing, as well as creativity. Don’t waste one of your five on something lame like a fist pump or that damn Money Manziel shit. Similarly, don’t shoot your claim wad on a 4 that gets you through round one of Rio when you really might need it for the quarterfinals at Pipe.
can you back up your assertion about gabby’s claiming this year? I think if you went back and watched every one of his heats from 2015 you’d find that he’s claimed less than or equal to mick or owen this year. that being said, gab has had a pretty lackluster year until as of late, but these bold assertions lack any real validity. However I can dig the 4 claim a year rule. what happens if they slip up and go over their allotted amount? does looking at the judges count as a claim?
Saying, “Gabby claims more than JJF” isn’t a bold assertion – EVERYONE claims more than JJF, hell, Ace Buchan claims more than John. Your idea that we should tally up claims to find out who’s the claimiest just proves my point that claims are a bad thing: they take away from the surfing which should stand on its own. There’s nothing excited or passionate about 99.9% of the claims on tour: it’s “Look at me, look how special I am.”
Instead of wasting my time watching the heat analyzer tallying claims, I’m going to spend that same amount of time watching surf videos where there’s no judges to suck up to. Actually, fuck that, I’m going surfing.
people are very selective with hating on claiming. when you argue against the “only brazzos claim” it changes to “yeah but ‘surfer i like who claims all the time’ only claims it for sick waves, not like fucking brazzos”. you’re never going to win.
(also hate to link to wsl content but a video they posted today that shows exactly what you’re saying http://www.worldsurfleague…. )
Although nearly everything in the world is racist, hating claims is not. Example: would this claim be any less silly if done by Micro? Or Fanning? (The answer is no. And it would be far sillier if Micro did it.)
I dig the JJF no-claim claim. But here are a few suggestions:
Lay down on your board and do the worm off the end
Namaste bow- a good one for understated bald dudes
Rooster strut ripped off from Arrested Development
Hunger games bow and arrow shoot
Yawn
Pretend selfie
Real selfie
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
im gonna make a claim that surf journalism is at a low point riiiiiiight now. but im sure it can get lower
It might be time you think? to drop my 5000 word piece on the performance benefits of a rimjob in the public toilets pre-surf…
bomb dropped. world changed. sports scientists across the world turn to surfing to understand once-thought-impossible feats of athleticism and enthusiasm. sports like rugby dazzle and shine as players no longer grimace and groan, but smile and cackle. eloquent post game interviews about how time stood still in the scrum. councils reinvest in public loos, scrapping cold concrete block caves for lapped vertical timber boarded pavillions, heated floors, triple glazed skylights and comfortable, wipable benches. plumbing apprenticeships increase tenfold…
Well gone are the interesting days of pro surfing where guys ditched heats and ran head long into walls. Now we have professionals acting professional, so boring. We need a would be Archie or Andy to step up (Dane doesn’t count, he’s not a full time foam jockey).
Forget Medina. I’m still trying to work out what the correct reaction should be to AI’s shotgun claim. Was it yuck! Or wow! Or… Yeah I dunno…
since he was a white guy from Hawaii, it was great.
Claim 9s and 10s, don’t claim 6s and 7s, end of story and argument. That Hansel claim was gangsta though, I liked it