And other important questions.
A great man once said, “If you speak with authority you’ll be treated as an authority.” That great man was me, and the quote sums up how I approach most of my interpersonal interactions. I figured out a long time ago that no one really has any idea what’s going on, and most people will treat any strongly worded statement as fact. Hardly a secret, I know, but it’s a fun thing to keep in mind when you spend a ton of time playing with words.
The hardest part is remembering it’s all an act. That I too am utterly clueless, and the fact that someone believes my bullshit doesn’t mean I speak from any real knowledge.
Some shit, though, I just don’t get. And, no matter how hard I try, I can’t string together a series of lies that resembles sense. The following are some of those things:
Who buys pro models? Remember the Surftech Channel Islands Kelly Slater model? Who the hell bought those things? I used to see them everywhere. Speaking of Slater…
Has a product with KS’s name on it ever actually sold? I bought a K Grip pad when I was a young impressionable lad, and it was terrible. White, so it got filthy, no traction, so I had to wax it. It did look cool, though, right off the rack. Off the top of my head I can remember Slater brand skateboards, a quick search shows that he even had a model on Arbor a few years back.
What’s the deal with Greg Noll? He quit surfing in 1969, right? That’s 46 years ago! But, for whatever reason, surfing’s obsession with its past has kept him semi-relevant ever since.
Why Rio? Brazil digs surfing, and absolutely deserves to have a tour event. But is Rio really the best combination of accessibility and consistency? Or is it some sort of pseudo-conspiracy predicated upon the fact that their surfers have traditionally excelled in that type of slop?
Is Fu Wax still a thing? I was gifted a few bars of a super sticky knock off a couple years back, and it was murder. Way too much traction, basically waxed my chest every time I paddled out. Plus, I don’t surf nearly well enough to glue my foot into whatever position it’s in when it initially hits my board. Which is the same reason I’ve always hated wearing booties.
Why is RVCA pronounced “ruca”? It’s confusing. And I wonder what’s going on with Conan Hayes’s fraud charges? Legal wheels turn slowly, but he’s looking at a decent stint in jail if they can make the charges stick. Which I sincerely hope they do not, since defrauding a mortgage company shouldn’t even be a crime.
Will SurfStitch try to buy out BeachGrit? Oh god, I hope so. I’ll sell out the moment I get a chance, would even agree to stay on board and shill away any legitimacy I have.
RVCA is pronounced with a “U” sound supposedly because the ancient Romans on buildings would use a V instead of a U.
damn autocorrect. i meant cilantro.
‘Ruca’ Vs RVCA: They’re kicking it old school. The Latin alphabet didn’t have the letter U. thus a V is used for both U and V. You’ll see this quite a bit in Neoclassical architecture with stone carvings. That and I bet cutting a U is a huge pain in the ass.
I’ve genuinely learnt something from a surfing based website. Astounding.
I hope someone answers the ruca question it has certainly been bothering me for a long time, and on the Last question, if the sugar Dady comes a knocking get in your knees coz he may never return. If he does come, is that a pun?, instead of the site having aggressive names like stab and BG Give the new site a less confrontational name like …soft beach towel or cuddles, this should keep yas ahead of the pack
I see Noll checking the waves and watching people surf a lot. He gets out on his boat and fishes in the ocean quite a bit too. He’s always super nice, and will talk surf stories for as long as you want. There’s no doubt when you are in his presence that he’s a great surf legend.
couldn’t agree more about rio. sad thing is that there are plenty of better waves in the state of rio, let alone basil. i heard it had to do with politicians who have a stake in the hotel the tour uses in barra. when in basil…….follow the $$$.
It’s because surfers never go on to do anything else that guys like Noll can still be legends 50 years after they quit. For most athletes, they play their sport then go on to another career. Roger Staubach founded one of the largest commercial real estate firms around. Elway owns car dealerships. Magic Johnson – shopping centers and movie theaters. Many the olympian swimmer has gone on to med school. Ball players into finance. Surfers? Well, 30 years after their glory they’ll show up with a few weeks notice to surf a novelty heat at Trestles because, well, what else are they doing?
Well now, how many pro surfers have there been compared to all other sports combined? How much money would a Corey Lopez, Greg Noll, or a CJ Hobgood have at the end of their career compared to an Elway or a Magic Johnson? Pro Surfers don’t have to go through college to become pro surfers, that is different in other sports, which at the end of their career gives them a big advantage if they want to go to medical school or sell their souls in finance…(I jest). It wouldn’t matter if Noll had a car dealership and some cinemas and malls, the man would still be a legend in the sport!
All fair points, but the truth is that the very large majority of pro surfers peak in life at about 22. You think Stanford water polo alumni sit around idolizing the guys that played in 1971? Not so much. And while I agree there’s no need for college if one’s career path is pro surfing, there’s certainly no reason kids can’t go to college and surf. Just imagine a current-day Kolohe fresh out of college (I know, maybe not the best example – he’s hardly smart enough to tie his shoes, but you get the gist). Smarter, more mature, stronger and independent – he’d be deadly.
Thank sweet baby jesus that internet commenters can peak much later.
sometimes in their 70s!
i’m having trouble with legend and quitting in the same sentence.
I recommend that you watch ESPN’s 30 for 30 special called “Broke.”
No.
well had you, you would have learned that the overwhelming majority of pro athletes go broke within 5 years of retirement.
Trojan fag u suck
well Trogsy generally surfers get stuck surfing because it’s supremely more fun than any other of the cock smoking fucken pursuits you named above. Sir.
point of order:
most pro athletes end up broke. elway, magic and roger staubach are extreme outliers. olympian swimmers? stanford water polo players? hardly representative.
First time I used Fu Wax I snapped I ankle in half. Took a late drop and my foot stuck so solid to my board all my weight went over on my ankle. Fucking horrible stuff.
I love the stuff.. available at Aloha in Manly
Which of these men is more relevant to surf culture today?
Ha!
how do you post piccies?
Bottom left of your commenting box is alittle symbol, click on it and away you go…
C´mon, man. Noll´s koa surfboards are still pretty relevant.
Defrauding a mortgage company might be a crime, but it ain’t a fucking sin!
Mortgage fraud is no different than straight bank robbery. Why do you hate banks so much?
You are joking aren’t you? I don’t know where you live but in my country the public had to pick up the tab of greedy banker scum. If Conan sticks it to some bank, good on him! Straight Bank Robbery traumatises bank workers and customers of the bank with either violence or the threat of violence. Mortgage fraud may not be a victimless crime – but it’s not a sin!
By greedy banker scum, do you mean people who loaned money to people who couldn’t or wouldn’t pay that money back? Where’s the outrage at people who took loans they couldn’t pay back but still managed to buy a boat and a jet ski and a camper?
I think we might live in different countries, if you lived here you would be livid too, believe me! At any rate the job of the bank is to lend to people who have the means to pay them back, it’s a double edged sword. The people who can’t pay back the banks get their credit ruined, become bankrupt, perhaps homeless. What happens to the bank when it becomes bankrupt? The public have to step in. The banks remain, and the scum remains in them, and the scum still not only gets paid, but still gets paid bonuses.
You must have been looking the other way when a few of the banks went under. You must also not know any of the people who worked at those few banks. And when I say few, I mean many. Start here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…
But tell me, do you have a mortgage? Or did you? I do, and I pay timely every month. When that happens there’s no problem on either side.
I don’t, nor have I had, yet somehow I have to pay for the mistakes of the banks, and if I have grandchildren they will also be paying. When I am talking about bankers I am not talking about the clerks on the counter.
Explain. What are you paying for? The government made money off the bailouts.
Obvs Trogs ain’t a fan of ya boy Marx or the Quran
Many don’t know (or care to know) that the US taxpayers made significant money on the bailouts. I’m not suggesting they were “good” or “bad” (those are moral judgments – I’m just a facts type of guy), but they certainly were profitable.
reading this made me realize once again how important debating on the interwebs is to life on
Earth.
holy hell, you have no idea what you’re talking about. the govt may have some of it’s bailout money repaid with interest, but the taxpayer doesn’t really get to benefit from that, but many, many taxpayers had their retirements gutted because of what caused the bailouts. those people weren’t bailed out by the govt either.
loaning money to people who can’t pay it back wasn’t the fraud part. it was packaging those mortgages into triple-A rated investment packages and selling those packages to people who didn’t know the loans were toxic that was fraudulent. people lost their entire life savings because they were defrauded. that’s the sin. that’s the reason for the anger. that’s why the bankers who practiced this behavior are greedy scum.
Correct.
And then the way that private debt had to be absorbed by sovereign nations to restore the financial system and prevent massive depression, effectively socialising the massive risk/fraud of the banks and passing that debt onto future taxpayers.
Fucking hell Troges, you really want to spend time defending the indefensible without a paycheck?
again, not sure what you’re on about with passing debt onto future taxpayers. What exactly do you suggest they’re still having to pay off?
Sounds like your issue is with the ratings firms. But the truth is that none of these things happened without greedy people willing to take on more debt than they ever could (or would) pay back. I’m not saying Wall Street wasn’t fucked, but to place the blame on the financial system without also putting every single person who defaulted on their loans on the hook as well is silly.
jesus, did you just read ayn rand for the first time or something? the investment bankers were the ones who purposely sold toxic loans to anybody who would buy them, including municipal pension managers. should low income people have known better that they couldn’t afford that house? yeah, probably. but they were preyed on by greedy bankers. it wasn’t the other way around.
Toxic loans. Who took on those loans again? Individual Americans. I know plenty of people who lost their homes and many who came out of the crisis like it never happened. The difference was typically that the ones who came out fine were living within their means. Lots of smart people should have known better. Again, place all the blame you want on Wall Street, but to suggest that all those folks who walked on loans were somehow victims is a joke.
Point break 3?