The King of Instagram's surf saga gets even more tawdry!
This morning, I posted a story that genuinely tickled. Dan Bilzerian, the self-proclaimed King of Instagram, made famous for posting pictures of lots of girls hanging out with him and his beard and his airplane and his lack of self-esteem posted a picture of him and his beard and a strangely concave Al Merrick waxed all the entire way to the nose. The caption read “Good gettin back in the water today w the gambling surf guru @ricksalomon”
Oh how funny! But, apparently, the whole business gets even better. A wonderful man by the named Earl White informed me, via Facebook, that, “My buddy saw him take this picture then pullout a longboard to paddle on…wouldn’t say he ‘surfed’ it.”
How amazing! But really? Is true? I had to know.
“Yes.” he said. “It was at Sunset (Santa Monica). Big yellow longboard.”
And don’t social fame just cut both ways? Dan gets paid, presumably, to shill whatnots to his 15 m followers. They say things like “You live a blessed life” and “Amazing” but sometimes “You have very short legs.” On his surf post his non-followers say things like “Kook” “What a kook” and “Go back to the valley, kook.” And also bury him deeper with tales of what truly went down that day.
Happy shredding, Valley Dan!
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But the thing that makes him more of a kook than anything… it was at Sunset!
Has anyone else noticed the striking resemblance of this chap to the Lake Superior guy?
STAY WOKE
at the bottom end, Chas Smith is doing him a great favour, free advertisement!!!
I’d like to hear some stories from some of the vapid sluts he hangs with..like are they there for the tag along lifestyle or are they on the clock?
wonder what her hourly rate is
Much less vomit-inducing then “malibu-man-afraid-of-nazare-saying-women-shouldnt-be-out-there”……or the worst one ” i-saw-god-at-the-end-of-the-barrel-christian-hapa-haole-so-sponsore-me-so-i-can-make-more-christians”.
I’d say he’s up nights worrying about those comments about his legs. Vanity has its price. Must send him a few zingers when i have time.
Hairy legs vs none on the arms. Curious.
Pottz could learn a lot about modern day grooming from this chap.
Man this will develop into something so fun Chaz. I’d love to see an interview with the two of you. Or better yet, and undoubtedly more interesting, you interviewing a life-size wax model of him. How much does that cost to have made? I’ve got 5 on it.
Next article on Alexis Ren and Jay Alverrez, they literally just get paid to post videos of her getting piggy-backed (????) and the odd kooky surf shot.
Chas has done a whole series on Jay Alverrez, he was the original Blood Feud, Jay Vs some other guy I never heard of…
Well, thank god, shit is nauseating
Always getting down to the nitty gritty. Right on Chas.
Fuck i thought we were done with this guy. the story is believable now get this kook off here and i’ll see him in hell along with the rest of you cunts
Chas , be honest: if you could trade places with Dan would you not, molecule for molecule. Just for a day?
Completely honestly no. That life is very very very easy which is why it is lame. Also, I’m a Calvinist!
Dear Chas—-sadly I am now heading back over to Stab so I can actually see something semi-relevant/interesting. (also, somehow, your site loads slower than theirs now). Please raise the bar.
Ha! Good luck! See you tomorrow if our site loads (I’m genuinely sorry about that part)!
What cultural practices does Calvinism consist of in 2015? Real question. And when will your parenting section launch? My in utero progeny’s fate depends on it!
And those shorts.
Truth be told, probably better to ride Sunset in SM on a longboard.
Hahaha that definitely is sunset looking again. The wave is so soft that it’s pretty much impossible to catch on a short board, let alone due airs on not that I’ve ever done one.
Love sharks when I am not surfing!!! Right on kook.
Are InstaDan’s shaved arms homage to the King’s dome?
The bald guy, 11 times world champ, finally found his rival!
Social media will be small for both …
The war was declared!
Who will win?