We are almost 1/3 through the season and how is your fantasy team performing?
We are fast approaching the 1/3 mark of 2016’s World Surf League Championship Tour Season and doesn’t it only seem like four years ago that Snapper first kicked off? Yes, the Australian leg sure did drag its feet at times. Longtom’s assessment was exactly right. Every jot. Every tittle. And now off to Brazil, a country mired in crisis. Social, economic, political, you name the varietal and Brazilians are in the streets gnashing their teeth. Mothers throwing newborn children toward visiting American businessmen and pleading, “Senhor, senhor! Take-a my bebē with-a you to America! Give-a him life!” Fathers weeping openly between sips of caipirinha and samba swivels.
But how is your fantasy team doing? This is the first year I’ve ever played properly, like ever changed my team before events and I am doing very poorly. BeachGrit has a group with 125 souls inside. You can join here, if you are not already a member. 125 and I am 52 making me a little better than average even though all I have to do every day is think about professional surfing.
I had Julian and Italo both on my team for Margaret and they both did good but I also had Kelly and he did dumb. And the heart stays with Jordy even though failure is inevitable. I ride Caio like a steed but his legs buckle before he gets me across the line. Kolohe? Don’t get me started. Don’t even get me fucking started.
And how is a team supposed to be picked? What are your fantasy secrets? Seabass Zietz? Is he your fantasy secret? Well you forward thinking pimp. I’m impressed.
Do you think WSL CEO Paul Speaker plays fantasy surfer? Do you think if you mixed in pictures of the surfers on tour with pictures of players on Leicester City’s football club and showed him asking, “Surfer or Socceroo?” he would guess right even half the time? Less than half?
Can I get a discount on my Taj Burrow WSL jersey since he’s quitting five events into the season, you forward thinking pimp?
This is my first full season and I am bitter. I have been doing my research for each event and am getting bent over. The only contest winners are a surfer who has consistently struggled to re-qualify and the other, one who couldn’t. Kohole even came 2nd at Snapper with an injury! The only risky pick I have gone for was taking Seabass off my team for Jack Robinson which worked out well. From now on I am going to pick my team from a sock.
wet sock
Showed up to the event 4 days early. Saw seabass thrashing 1 foot river mouths. Chucked him on my team and blew my buddies away. I think going full stalker is the only true path to success in these things.
Fantasy be fugged – it’s all red ink here. Where’s the predictability gone, I need a win-c’mon ADS, crab it to one more win!
same mood as in the real deal: no crime there, just envious picks wanting the place by no merit…
Why are we playing through Surfer? Come join the WSL* fantasy beachgrit team of which the beloved moderator Negatron is the current leader and a certain salty fishfinger loving captain is coming fucking 13th. I blame the fact that i gave zero fucks about Bells and Margarets for my current poor showing. That and the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve and keep picking lazy multi millionaire 20 somethings to win.
*Note: I do not work for WSL, however I do enjoy making my picks via the app on my non WSL sanctioned iphone.
Surfer FS is far superior, way harder to pick a complete team. WSL FS seems to be designed so the even the mentally challenged can play.
Point of proof… Me winning.
Haha I have passed you now on the mental challenged FS Negatron! My life is complete.
I came 11th last year and so far this year I’m coming 14,936th. Fantasy is a cruel mistress, especially without the collective shoulders of Mick, Felipe & Owen on which I would have ridden to certain glory.
judges dick riding has hurt my fantasy pretty much every year
joel gets 8s on 4s
Blasphemy!
I forgot my password and login but last time I checked I was coming last. Can someone please check this for me?
6th or 7th from the bottom. Pretty pathetic, prince.
Thanks mate. Too many fucken Brazzo’s in my team probably.
Too much Kelly on mine…
Could there ever be a movement in Brazil, assuming failure in Rio, to impeach Adriano?
Topical!
Tropical!
Avoid match ups in round 3 and look at the forecast.
The tough question comes around when you making cash on someone to keep or ditch them?
How the shit do you determine whether surfers match up in round 3? Can you send me your equations?
Google Aspwedge
BC?
wslbracket.com
This doesn’t work. If you pick one heat incorrectly it alters every matchup in round 2, thus altering match ups in 3. Still fun to fuck around with though.
well if you just want to try and avoid match ups in round three it has some merrit cos of the way the seeding works.. more than 2 people from seeds 10-15 and you probably getting a match up. Like wise the lowest seed vs the highest.
Before you get you heart broken again, they don’t send you those prizes. Still waiting on my box of worthless quiksilver junk from my 4th place finish (subtle claim) at France last year. I don’t really want the t-shirts and cap, just something tangible to validate the glory of winning something
My fantasy teams are doing fine. In the Top 10. Would be doing better if I did not stick to Adriano for Margarets and dropped Italo for Jordy. Italo is versatile. Jordy is on fire. Adriano is having a well earned rest. Picked Wilko for Snapper & Bells but dropped him for Margarets.
I am horrible at math but doesn’t being 52 mean I’m better than 70 something others?
Having steadily performed worse each of the last 3 seasons, I believe one key is to not trust the allure of last minute, drunken trades the night before the contest. I dumped seabass and julian for michel and jeremy on a burst of intuition last week…
aka the “stinker tinker”
Now the big decision is what to do about Rio. Will the local riotous environment sway the judges towards the Brazilians? I suspect yes because they probably value their lives. With those survival instincts firmly in place I will add some more local flavor to my lineup whilst sticking with a few of my regulars.
Will wilko lose focus on the slop at hand in favor of the buns of fun abound? Will John John get his shit together?
JJF has won Brazil before so I’m sticking with him. Wilko…what the hell to do about Wilko???
I just joined and i am already the 3rd best.. The WSL fantasy league might be the worst fantasy contest ever.. Yeeew Surfer, keeping it real. I can’t wait to talk some shit like i have been to all the guys in my clubhouse..
Thanks a lot. I write this damn story and now, because of the likes of you, I’m 66.
Ikr? Now I’m down to 121st. I went through all stages of grief seeing my place 25 minutes ago: No, I’m sure it’s not true… NO, god damn it!… I’ll give my first born child for it to be not true… what does it matter if it is true, I suck at fantasy surfer, what’s the point?… yeah, it’s OK, my team was pretty lame.
I’ve found the secret to fantasy is staying disciplined, and picking with your head and not your heart. I have never taken my own advice though. I can’t tell you how many times seabass has let me down before coming through this week. It makes up for the contests watching Nat, ADS, Alejo, etc. Storm through and kill my pathetic yet stylish team.